Finsmob Unleashed

A hypothetical series of fictitious conversations between Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross and Miami Dolphins GM Chris Grier and Miami Dolphins Head Coach Mike McDaniel in the 2024 offseason before, during and after NFL Free Agency and the 2024 NFL Draft

We’ve all used that expression, “I wish I were a fly on the wall for that conversation”. So here’s a take on if I were actually that fly, on the wall, in Miami Dolphins Owner Stephen Ross’ office, getting the pitch from his top Dolphins men Chris Grier and Mike McDaniel.

4/29/24

Stephen Ross : Good morning Chris, Mike, there’s a lot of excitement here, how do you feel we did in the draft?

Chris Grier : We feel great about how things went down. We needed help at OLB and we feel we got a really good one (Chop Robinson) who will allow both Jaelan Phillips and Bradly Chubb to take their time and not try to rush back too soon. We love the OT (Patrick Paul) that we got in RD 2, we all know Terron Armstead has made it clear this is his last season. We’ll have Patrick Paul ready next season. We got a RB that we were really excited about from Tennessee, we actually traded next year’s 3rd pick to acquire him. He can do it all, run, catch block. We’ve had bad luck with Achane and Mostert and even Wilson Jr. to an extent so it will be nice to have a guy who can essentially replace any one of those guys. We doubled down on OLB, and took a real productive guy (Mo Kamara) from Colorado St. He gives us a little insurance there because Chop is a little raw, but this guy gets things done. We got a safety and a couple of WR’s that help in the return game and maybe work inside at slot. All in all a very good draft haul.

Stephen Ross : No replacement for Christian Wilkins?

Chris Grier : There are quite a few Free Agents we’re interested in sir.

Stephen Ross : Did I misunderstand you, I thought we let Christian go because we didn’t want to overpay, how are you going to replace him in Free Agency without overpaying someone else?

Chris Grier : Well, we’re going with quantity here, like I had mentioned, we’re going to rotate guys more frequently so there won’t be any players getting burnt out from excessive snaps. Last season Christian (Wilkins) and Zach (Sieler) played too many snaps.

FF > to NFL WEEK 2, POSTGAME CONFERENCE CALL

Stephen Ross : Dammit guys, I am sorely disappointed about today’s game! What a PR nightmare we have now with this kid. The whole world is talking about us how we throw this kid to the wolves, it makes us look bad. Everyone and their mother is a neurologist or knows one and we need to look like we care. We’re going to hold him out at least 4 games, so no one can second guess us and say we don’t care. Also, can we ever beat that damn Buffalo team? Why do we fall apart when we face them?

Mike McDaniel : Very disappointing sir, I feel awful about Tua, I really do. He’s so competitive, he can’t help himself. He wants to win in the worst way. Whatever you think is necessary, I’ll take care of the rest. Skylar will hold the position down until you think it’s right to bring Tua back.

Stephen Ross : My goodness, are we ever going to beat the Buffalo Bills? I’m tiring of them kicking our asses every year.

Chris Grier : We’ve got Seattle, Tennessee, New England and Indy coming up, we’ll win at least 3 of those and you won’t even realize Tua is out and we’ll stay in the race for the division. We should have Tua back for the rematch and we’ll take them down then.

Stephen Ross : Alright gentlemen, very disappointing but I’m optimistic that you will keep this team going without our starting QB.

FF> to NFL WEEK 4, POSTGAME CONFERENCE CALL

Stephen Ross : Chris Mike, I am besides myself right now. You asked for the money, and I’m more than happy to give it. This is embarrassing! Let me put this as mildly as I can muster . . . We all knew that our QB might get hurt, so that being the case, how did you guys not plan for this? I see we’re bringing in QB’s from other teams practice squad one week, and they’re starting here the next. To say I’m disappointed is an understatement. I don’t mind paying top dollar to win fellas, but you’re digging a pretty deep hole you may not be able to get out of.

Mike McDaniel : I’m as disappointed as you are sir. I really thought Skylar (Thompson) could handle it, which is why I thought we could let Mike (White) go. Seems as if I miscalculated. We’re just trying to keep our head above water until Tua gets back. I feel confident we can beat anyone and go on a major run once he gets back.

Chris Grier : We have the Patriots, then go to Indy, then the BYE week, and then we’re home for the Arizona Cardinals. We should have Tua back when we get home from the BYE so we’ll turn things around.

Stephen Ross : I’m not so sure I’d call this keeping our heads above water, the season is moving along and we have one win to show for it. I’m going to hold out hope you gentlemen can turn this around, but what I see on the field is not confidence inspiring if I’m going to be honest.

FF> to November 25th, following the win over the New England Patriots

Stephen Ross : Gentlemen, have a seat. (speaking to Chris Grier and Mike McDaniel). OK, this is more like it! Love the way the team is playing now, this game against the Packers has been a bit of a “bugaboo” so to speak. All I hear is that this team can’t win in the cold. Are we ready to dispel that nonsense?

Mike McDaniel : We’re very confident sir, the team is coming together, and Tua is desperate to prove that we can not only play in cold weather, but WIN in cold weather. He has a big chip on his shoulder, I think we’re ready to have a real statement game

Chris Grier : It’s so important for this team to have Tua at the helm. We’re a playoff team when he’s on the field. It doesn’t matter where we play, this offense can play anywhere. We’re no longer reliant on deep passing plays that can falter in cold weather and wind, this short passing game Mike is using can travel. and we’re excited to play on Thanksgiving on Prime Time.

Stephen Ross : OK gentlemen, sounds like the team is prepared to do what they need to do, go get the Packers!

FF> to November 29th, Post Thanksgiving Game Conference Call

Stephen Ross : Good afternoon gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed your holiday because I can tell you I certainly did not! I listened to you, listened to Tua state how he’s ready to kill the narrative, but what I believe I’m seeing here is not a narrative after all. I’m beginning to think this team isn’t good enough to beat the top tier teams. We look over matched, out coached, out played and ill prepared to battle against the best. This was a bitter loss, because this game wasn’t close. The gap between us and the good teams is clear to see. What do you have to say for yourselves?

Mike McDaniel : <<<<<< Charlie Brown Sound Effects >>>>>>> Wah wah, wah wah wah wah wah wah. Wah wah wah wah , wah wah wah wah wah.

Chris Grier : <<<<<<<< More Charlie Brown Sound Effects >>>>>>>> Wah wah wah wah, wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah, wah wah wah wah.

Merry Christmas

Happy Hanukkah