Entrare! Welcome to Mustachio’s Cuts. A negozio to talk mustaches and Dolphins.
Guess What Mustachio has for today! The Dolphins newest offensive lineman! No, not Evan Mathis. Not ancora anyway. Mustachio is ah-talking about quarto round pick – Jamil Douglas!
Mustachio is so excited to guardare Douglas on our offensive line. Maybe Douglas can push to start at left guard as a rookie! What a great pick he would be if he starts as a rookie!
Ah! Here he is. Jamil your hair is perfetto and Mustachio does not disturb perfetto. Instead, Mustachio is ah-gonna take you to a place where all Miami Dolphins Offensive Lineman like to go to rilassare!
What’s the problema? You no know that Richie Incognito was Mustachio’s favorite Dolphin?
Its Tootsies Time Now!!!
Mustachio must tell you. Mustachio preoccupazione very much when the Dolphins no selezionare any lineman in the first two rounds. Then there was no terzo round pick and Mustachio preoccupazione become la rabbia!
But then in the quarto round the Dolphins get you! Emozionante!!!
What a perfect fit. An agile lineman who played most of his career at guard at Arizona State. You only moved to tackle as a senior after playing guard your first 3 years at ASU. Scouts had you projected as a zone blocking scheme fit!
E a team leader too! At Arizona State, you were voted team capo by your teammates! Congratulazioni Douglas!!! E you were a physical freak too. You can power clean 385, bench press 430 e squat 565! Affanculo that is strong! Parlante of squats, I hope you are enjoying the show!
You were even on a 2014 preseason ranking as one of the biggest physical freaks in all of College Football!
Check it out: http://www.nfl.com/photoessays/0ap2000000354297
Che Cazzo Devante Parker is on that list. And we have another physical freak in Jordan Phillips! Sorprendente Dolphins!!!
Looks like we have drafted a lot of great athletes no?
Corre voce che that the strength of your game is run blocking. Scouts dire that you pull well and are athletic enough to block downfield consistently.
Wait! No dire anymore! Its time for a new dancer on the floor!!! Mustachio silenzio now!
AN ANNOUNCER SPEAKS OVER THE ENTIRE CLUB
“And now for the dancer you’ve been waiting for…the slutiest dancer in all of Tootsies. You know her as the one that will do anything for a tip. The one, the only, the complete whore…put your hands together for Mrs. Mustachio!!!”
That’s my wife!!! Mrs. Mustachio shames me!
Close your eyes!!!