IN A FAR AWAY PLACE KNOWN AS THE PEGASUS COUNSEL, PEGASUS, THE GREEN DRAGON AND THE GREAT GRIFFIN ARE IN A MEETING
The Green Dragon: So Pegasus why did you ask all to come here?
Pegasus: Winged friends…I called this meeting to discuss our newest threat…the Miami Dolphins. As you know I have been compiling evidence about there…um…tactics…and I am ready to present it to you.
The Green Dragon: The Dolphins?…they are 3-2? Its nothing to get concerned about Pegasus. I’m sure your Patriots will handle them, and my Jets should give them a run, and the Griffin’s Bills play them this week, so his Bills have it covered
The Great Griffin: Yeah (eating a bowl of glue) my Bills…my Bills.
Pegasus: Not so fast esteemed winged members of the Pegasus Counsel which is named after me…(patting himself on the back with his hoof) Inchworm…Inchworm, where are you?
The Flying Inchworm: Just a minute…this audio visual equipment is heavy…maybe some one can help me set it up?
Pegasus: Sure, I will help you….place it over there…and hurry up! (he winks at the other members of the counsel)
THE LIGHTS TURN OFF
The Flying Inchworm: Oh…um…thanks for the help (setting up a projector) Eh -hem. As you know the Miami Dolphins are 3-2. They started the season off with three straight wins. But those three wins are (whispering) tainted by pork.
The Flying Inchworm: Do you recall Week 1 against the Browns?
The Green Dragon: Yes, the Dolphins won that game.
The Great Griffin: Yeah…they won…they won it (eating more glue)
The Flying Inchworm: The Dolphins offense started the game very stagnant. They could not run the ball, they barely moved the ball at all. Until Ryan Tannehill threw a perfectly placed pass to Brian Hartline as shown in this slide.
The Green Dragon: Sure…it was nice pass…so what? I didn’t come here to watch Dolphin’s highlights
The Flying Inchworm: Some Dolfans have argued that Hartline and Tannehill have developed a strong connection since they have been together…but take a closer look at this slide.
Pegasus: That damned Piggy!
The Flying Inchworm: It turns out Piggy…um…assisted the pass. Do you remember the Colts game in week 2?
The Green Dragon: Don’t tell me Piggy was in on that game too?
The Great Griffin: Damned Piggy…Damned Piggy (eating more glue)
The Flying Inchworm: In that game Brent Grimes made a clutch interception of Andrew Luck.
The Flying Inchworm: Some have suggested the Dolphin pass rush forced Luck to force that pass which Grimes picked off…but we know that Luck can do no wrong and their was pork play at work…Look at this slide!
The Green Dragon: How is he doing it? That swine!
Pegasus: Well its just a simple flip of the wings. We have all done it before but not in such an immoral and dastardly manner. Not to cheat!
The Great Griffin: Yeah, wings…cheat (eating more glue)
The Flying Inchworm: And Piggy’s deceitful ways do not stop with flight. remember the Atlanta game in Week 3. The Don Jones hit shown in this slide?
The Flying Inchworm: Looks like a great hit doesn’t it? Well not so fast. The swine was in on that too. Look at this slide!
Pegasus: (dramatically) Is there no level this swine will not stoop to for his Dolphins? (brining his hood to his head)
The Green Dragon: With a baseball bat no less…
The Great Griffin: I like baseball. (eating more glue)
The Green Dragon: But wait a second, the Dolphins lost the very next week. Did Piggy skip that game?
The Flying Inchworm: No…Piggy went to New Orleans. But when he arrived in New Orleans, he stopped for a drink on Bourbon Street and he became…um…distracted.
Pegasus: Well that worked out for us…
The Green Dragon: And I suppose Piggy didn’t go to the Baltimore game either…Although I did see tweets from him that he was in the stands on that very hot day…was he lying?
The Flying Inchworm: He was not lying. He was at the game, we have confirmed this with some one named “Stanger”. It is also true that it was a hot day. Piggy was fine for the first three quarters – but then by the fourth quarter…well…the heat got to Piggy…
THE LIGHTS TURN ON
Pegasus: Well my winged companions…that is my presentation. What did you learn about and the Miami Dolphins?
The Great Griffin: That you can beat them with tits and cooking grease!
Pegasus: No you moron! We learned that Piggy is affecting the outcome of games. And if he can do it, so can we.
The Green Dragon: Are you suggesting that we cheat to help beat the Dolphins?
The Green Dragon: But the integrity of the game?
Pegasus: Dragon…if there is one thing I have learned as a representative on this Counsel for the New England Patriots its that – CHEATING PAYS.
The Great Griffin: Yeah, cheating pays…like Pegasus always says…cheating pays (eating more glue)
Pegasus: Griffin, this week your Bills play the Dolphins. So go now. Go to Miami. Go and cause havoc in the game and cause your Bills to win
The Great Griffin: Um…okay Pegasus (he suddenly flies out of the room)
The Green Dragon: Well, I guess I should start planning how I can help the Jets to beat the Dolphins…(walking out of the room) maybe we can offer to trade them Marc Sanchez…(he walks out of the room)
The Flying Inchworm: (approaching Pegasus) Pegasus…um…I feel a little guilty about creating these photos…Do you really think the Patriots have to cheat to win
Pegasus: Inchworm, we have always cheated to win…why fix what is not broke?
The Flying Inchworm: But manipulating members of the counsel like that…is it right?
Pegasus: Inchworm, you want to be on the counsel don’t you?
The Flying Inchworm: Yes, more than anything…
Pegasus: (slamming his hoof on the table) then stop having a conscience! (he flies out of the room)
THE GREAT GRIFFIN ARRIVES IN MIAMI BUT INSTEAD OF GOING TO THE GAME, HE GOES TO THE ZOO
The Great Griffin: (at the chimpanzee exhibit) Hah Hah…look at the monkeys throw poo..hah hah
THIS BODES WELL FOR THE DOLPHINS AGAINST THE BILLS