The Flying Pig: Humans, there has been much debate lately on the circumstances regarding Derrick Shelby’s suspension. Being that its Fest Week I don’t have time for such trivial things, since I am preparing to get my drink on. But I do have personal knowledge of how the decision was made. As a member of the Dolphins punishment board, I really should not share this with you…but what the Oink…just remember, everything you are about to read really happened. There are no fabrications of any kind in this Oddyssey. read the below email chain – Its Shocking!
To: Piggy Bacon
From: Coach Phil Joseph
Sent: Sunday, October 5, 2014, 8:54 A.M.
Subject: Shelby
Piggy, we have an problem and we need to decide the appropriate punishment
To: Coach Phil Joseph
From: Piggy Bacon
Sent: Sunday, October 5, 2014, 9:10 A.M.
Subject: Re: Shelby
Shut Up! You are so loud! I’m still hungover from last night!
To: Piggy Bacon
From: Coach Phil Joseph
Sent: Sunday, October 5, 2014, 10:00 A.M.
Subject: Re: Re: Shelby
Okay, Piggy, I assume you had your coffee by now. Last night shelby got into some trouble and we have to decide what to do
To: Coach Phil Joseph
From: Piggy Bacon
Sent: Sunday, October 5, 2014, 10:12 A.M.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Shelby
983esdjfsdkljkropiu48q4oopewak! Fuckface!!!!!
To: Piggy Bacon
From: Coach Phil Joseph
Sent: Sunday, October 5, 2014, 12:03 P.M.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Shelby
I guess you are still hungover…You can’t sleep all day. How much did you drink last night?
To: Coach Phil Joseph
From: Piggy Bacon
CC: Prince of Nigeria
Sent: Sunday, October 5, 2014, 12:14 P.M.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Shelby
In Gallons? Ask the other board member. I copied him in this email
To: Prince of Nigeria
From: Coach Phil Joseph
CC: Piggy Bacon
Sent: Sunday, October 5, 2014, 12:15 P.M.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Shelby
Good afternoon. I was not aware there was another board member other than Piggy and myself. I am contacting you to discuss the punishment of Derrick Shelby. The third year defensive lineman was arrested last night. What are your thoughts on the appropriate punishment?
To: Coach Phil Joseph
From: Prince of Nigeria
CC: Piggy Bacon
Sent: Sunday, October 5, 2014, 12:16 P.M.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Shelby
Dear Respected One,
GREETINGS,
Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. I got your contact from the International web site directory. I prayed over it and selected your name among other names due to it’s esteeming nature and the recommendations given to me as a reputable and trust worthy person I can do business with and by the recommendations I must not hesitate to confide in you for this simple and sincere business.
I am Wumi Abdul; the only Son of late Mr and Mrs George Abdul. My father is the King of Nigeria. He was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their outing to discus on a business deal. When my mother died on the 21st October 1984, my father took me and my younger brother HASSAN special because we are motherless. Before the death of my father on 30th June 2002 in a private hospital here in Abidjan. He secretly called me on his bedside and told me that he has a sum of $12.500.000 (Twelve Million, five hundred thousand dollars) left in a suspense account in a local Bank here in Abidjan, that he used my name as his first son for the next of kin in deposit of the fund.
Sir, we are honorably seeking your assistance in the following ways.
1) To provide a Bank account where this money would be transferred to.
2) To serve as the guardian of this since I am a boy of 17 years.
Moreover Sir, we are willing to offer you 15% of the sum as compensation for effort input after the successful transfer of this fund to your designate account overseas. please feel free to contact ,me via this email address
Your immediate assistance is necessary in this matter!
To: Piggy Bacon
From: Coach Phil Joseph
Sent: Sunday, October 5, 2014, 12:30 P.M.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Shelby
Piggy that was a fake account! Now I’m going to get spam for months! Come on man, let’s get this Shelby thing settled.
To: Coach Phil Joseph
From: Piggy Bacon
Sent: Sunday, October 5, 2014, 12:36 P.M.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Shelby
That is not a nice way to talk about some one that needs your immediate assistance. A Prince no less!
Was Shelby wearing pants?
To: Piggy Bacon
From: Coach Phil Joseph
Sent: Sunday, October 5, 2014, 12:37 P.M.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Shelby
Pants? I don’t know. I assume he was. What difference does that make??? Look he was drunk. Got kicked out of some club in Ft. Lauderdale and would’t leave. The police were called and they ended up tazing him.
To: Coach Phil Joseph
From: Piggy Bacon
Sent: Sunday, October 5, 2014, 12:38 P.M.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Shelby
That is not good
To: Piggy Bacon
From: Coach Phil Joseph
Sent: Sunday, October 5, 2014, 12:40 P.M.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Shelby
Piggy. Each member of the Dolphins organization, the players, the coaches, the executives, even the cafeteria staff, we all have a responsibility to this community. We have to set an example.
To: Coach Phil Joseph
From: Piggy Bacon
Sent: Sunday, October 5, 2014, 12:41 P.M.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Shelby
Agreed.
You said he was wearing pants?
FYI – The Cafeteria Lady with the mole above her lip always picks her nose…its gross
To: Piggy Bacon
From: Coach Phil Joseph
Sent: Sunday, October 5, 2014, 12:43 P.M.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Shelby
What? Oh Forget it. Go back to sleep. Let’s pick this up later. Get some rest.
To: Coach Phil Joseph
From: Piggy Bacon
Sent: Sunday, October 5, 2014, 6:30 P.M.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Shelby
I can’t get over this pants thing. Let’s throw the book at him!
To: Piggy Bacon
From: Coach Phil Joseph
Sent: Sunday, October 5, 2014, 6:35 P.M.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Shelby
Forget about whether he was wearing pants or not Piggy! This is a serious issue!
To: Coach Phil Joseph
From: Piggy Bacon
Sent: Sunday, October 5, 2014, 6:36 P.M.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Shelby
Are you wearing pants right now?
I’m really disappointed in you coach.
To: Piggy Bacon
From: Coach Phil Joseph
Sent: Sunday, October 5, 2014, 6:40 P.M.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Shelby
Just shut up.
We will just suspend him indefinitely and figure it out later.
Dolphins 31 Packers 30
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Because people have been misled here and for clarification — David has NOT been banned both his accounts are open:
Pic has been removed enough of you saw proof of bogus rumors. Have a nice day.
