By Dr. Bruce Banner
So you think just because we win this week that Hulk no be angry? Hulk always angry! This is what make Hulk angry this week:
Anyone on team with initials DT. Last week it some mathematically challenged guy with initials DT that fumble ball away again. This week it some offensive lineman whose job it is to protect franchise QB. Instead this DT did his best turnstile/folding chair impersonation almost getting franchise QB killed in process. Hulk no want anyone on team that have initials DT. It’s bad mojo.
Hulk also very angry at Pod People. Hulk want to know who those 53 people were in Phins’ uniform at start of game because they were not same 53 people in Phins’ uniform at end of game. Hulk think they are Pod People and real Phins show up at half time. Problem is Hulk want to see 60 good minutes of football not 30. This been happening all year. Hulk think it must stop. Play 30 bad minutes vs. Broncos and we be losing by 4 touchdowns. That make Hulk very angry.
Hulk also very angry that Bill Lazor no like to eat clock when he have lead. When have lead Hulk believe you must run ball and eat clock. Instead Lazor like to throw ball and stop clock. Why Bill Lazor no like to eat clock? Yum, clock taste good! Fortunately last week puny Bills offense could do nothing with extra time. Hulk believe if we play team like Packers or Lions again or dare Hulk say Broncos next week, outcome may be very different if Bill Lazor no eat clock.
Hulk also angry at 7-11. Hulk no like franchise that always open in Buffalo. 7-11 should always be open in Miami. Coach Joe once said he wants Dolphins to be a developmental organization. Yet he let 7-11 go only to be developed by division rival. Hulk want to know what WR on 2012 roster worth keeping over 7-11? Now Hulk worried coach Joe making same mistake again letting Orleans Darkwa go so we can keep DT3 (See Hulk’s earlier comments about guys with initials DT). Ugh. That make Hulk very angry.
You want to know what make Hulk happy? To see Cam Wake smash Peyton Manning like Hulk smash Loki at end of Avengers like this: