Once I was given a mission to destroy the planet V9 DEXXR. So I spent months on this quaint little planet doing research all day on the best way to destroy the planet. I just could not come up with anything really creative to impress my employer. But I didn’t mind the process. I had this beautiful villa on the side of a dormant volcano. The aliens of V9 DEXXR were so nice too – really an incredible race. They have great restaurants and I ate out every night. Without knowledge of why I was there, they did everything to make me feel at home and I really enjoyed the famous DEXXR hospitality.
But I grew frustrated, “why can’t a find a way to destroy this paradise and appease my boss?” Then I realized that the dormant volcano was a perfect path to the planet’s core. It was the perfect size for a laser blast from a neighboring moon! So I put my plan together and shot a laser into its core. As I listened to the screams of the dying planet I thought to myself “sometimes exactly what you are looking for is right in your backyard!”
Hey Dolphins, the redzone threat you need is right in your backyard. Tight End Clive Walford is a 6’4 athlete the can run, block and catch. And he is from the U. Like I said, right in your backyard! In his four years at the University of Miami he scored 14 TDS including 7 in his senior year.
Most of you know that the University of Miami has put a ton of tight ends in the NFL: Jeremy Shockey, Greg Olson, Bubba Franks, Kellen Winslow, Jr., and of course Jimmy Graham. So you know they teach them well at the U. However, don’t make the mistake of comparing Walford to Graham. Walford is not a burner like Graham is. He is not going to impress anyone with his 40 time at the combine.
Walford is a technician. Yes I know, that my surprise some of you. He is, after all thought of as a great athlete and its true…he is. But Walford isn’t getting open by burning people. Walford is running a diverse set of routes so smoothy, he is creating separation and getting open most of the game. Walford also uses his body effectively to get open.
These are the kind of skills that Earthlings tend to notice at, for example, practice. And it just so happens that Walford’s draft stock shot through the roof at the Senior Bowl. Will Walford’s stock continue to rise? This alien says “no”. I just don’t think Walford is going to wow Earthlings at the combine. But he has already impressed this alien. Walford is running away with all three of my hearts.
If I was going to compare Walford to an Alien Weapon of Destruction, I would compare him to a Triangulum Shooting Star. “Oh look how pretty a shooing star…Its so close and so lovely…its getting closer too…maybe a little too close…its coming right at us…ARGHHHHH!!!” Boom, you are dead. Walford just snuck up on you.
Watch his highlights. But be warned, he is coming at you!!!