I got to say.
I hear all these Ideears ah-bout how Tawmy Brady is hiding something from the NFL because he smashed one little phone.
I say to that – GAHBIDGE!
There is nothing conspicuous about smashing a cell phone.
We Ahll do it!
It’s human naycha!
I smash all myin! The NFL’s decision ain’t worth the Paypah its written on.
We can spend Ouwwahs talking about PSIs and science and stuff – but there is one thing we all have to know in owah hearts.
Smashing a phone is not evidence of anything. Like I said its human naycha.
There are a lot of times some one might want to smash a phone.
I keep this list of the best times to smash a phone. Check it out:
So you can see how normal it is to smash your cell phones. I don’t know about you but I’m not ahbout to stawp.
But it goes deepah than that. Take a look at this phone I destroyed. Looks like just an Ahdinary broken phone to you right?
Take a closah look. When you break down the ordinary cell phone and pull out the chips. You will find the work of the devil! Isn’t that a pisser!
Ya see, all cell phones have these little evil microchips inside.
The microchips are all in satanic cults and they hate football.
Rogah Goodell makes these evil microchips to convince the public to hate football and Saint Tawmy Brady.
Why is Rogah Goodell out to get the Great Tawmy Brady after Tawmy built the NFL? Because Rogah Goodell is from Brazil and he wants the US to be a soccer country. We all know this is true right? If you don’t love the Pats then you might of missed this fact – because you are blinded by your hate of Tawmy Brady.
Which is where cell phones come in and why it’s a good thing to smash one. If you are not careful your satanic cell phone is going to make you watch a 1-1 tie every Sunday and then make you kick your grandma in the back. Cell phones ruin families too…
Most real football fans have been smashing their cell phones for years!
Still not convinced? Check out how this autocorrect ruined my life!
So you see, Saint Tawmy Brady was doing Gawd’s work. He wasn’t hiding evidence. Rogah Goodell is a retawded demon who wants you to watch FIFA. Are you a FIFA homo or are you gonna come with me to Federal Court?
I rest my case!