I swear I don’t have anything against the City of Jacksonville. But it seems to bring out my best pork for some reason. The first 3 reporked Oddysseys are all Jacksonville games.
This one speaks for itself. Sorry Jacksonville…
***************************************************************
The Porcine Oddyssey #98:
Dolphins @ Jaguars
10 Things you didn’t know about the Jacksonville Jaguars
The Dolphins take on the Jacksonville Jaguars this Sunday which is an ideal time to educate you on some things about Jacksonville and the Jaguars.
*No bacon was harmed during the making of this blog post.
- Jacksonville was a Soviet Satellite:
People are always surprised at this one. At the height of the Cold War in the early 80’s the Soviet Union invaded Jacksonville and declared it part of the Soviet Union. The invasion actually unified our Country.
On April 14, 1983 President Ronald Reagan delivered one of his most famous speeches to address the invasion. In his speech, President Reagan looked at the camera and said
“Where is Jacksonville anyway?”
This brought the Country together. People of every race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, national origin and citizenship looked at each other and shrugged…
They shrugged together as one country
When they figured out where it was, Jacksonville was deemed too insignificant for a counter-attack by the United States.
Luckily for Jacksonville a team of “Wolverines” led by Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen and Green Beret/Soulman C. Thomas Howell led a rebellion to take back what was theirs! As a result of their heroic efforts “Pain Don’t Hurt” in Jacksonville. This is how Jaguar fans make it through the NFL season every year.
2. Jacksonville was Named After Fredwilbur Jackson:
You probably thought Jacksonville was named after President Andrew Jackson…Nope! Naming a city like Jacksonville after a President is silly. That is historical and stuff. You have to read to really understand history and no one can read in Jacksonville. So don’t be as stupid as the people of Jacksonville and believe it was named after Andrew Jackson.
The truth is, Jacksonville was named after Fredwilbur Jackson. Who is Fredwilbur Jackson?
Fredwilbur Jackson holds the world record for sticking the most pencils in his ears.
There is not a lot of information on Fredwilbur out there. He was reclusive on account of never being able to hear his doorbell ring. But he left us with this. When Fredwilbur was asked how he became so good at sticking pencils in his ears he said:
“I live in Jacksonville, what else am I going to do with my time.”
The record is a great source of pride for Jacksonville. The city changed its name from “Just End it Already City” to “Jacksonville” when Fredwilbur broke his record.
3. The Jaguars’ Mascot is a Pervert:
Everybody already knows this one. Jaxson De Ville has been arrested over 114 times for indecent exposure. Most of the time, the arrest follows the same pattern. Jaxson takes off all his clothing and climbs into the trunk of your car to do whatever perverts do naked in the trunk of your car.
If your lucky, you might open your trunk and Jaxson will pop out naked and flee the scene.
But if not, he slips away before you catch him. The only way you know he was there is because he leaves a dead hooker in your trunk.
This is why it is well known that if you are ever asked about a dead hooker in the trunk of your car, the best way to answer is to say:
“Hey did you see that stuffed jaguar jump out of my trunk”
4. The World’s Largest LED Screen is in Jacksonville and You Believe What it Tells You:
You may have heard that EverBank field has the largest LED Screen in the World. Which is impressive and a great way to force people to watch what they otherwise don’t want to look at.
What you may not know is that the screen sends secret messages to everyone who stares into it. These subliminal messages are used to convince Jaguar fans that they are winning.
For instance, Jaguar fans think they beat the Carolina Panthers last week by a score of 56-3. Its worse for season ticket holders. They believe the Jaguars are the first team in NFL history to “threepete”. If you hear a Jaguar fan yelling “let’s go for four!” while smothering himself with pudding, you know that he is under the spell of the big TV, albeit I can’t explain the pudding…
But don’t worry Jacksonians, Jacksonvillians, Jacksonites or whatever you fucks call yourself. I fixed it!
You are free. Now the big TV will only send truthful messages to you. See what I did!
5. They’ll Eat Your Puppies:
You might remember that Jacksonville beat the Dolphins 62-7 in the 2000 postseason once. This was Dan Marino’s last game.
This dubious moment left Jacksonville perplexed:
How can we do something as equally disgusting to honor this achievement?
To celebrate an achievement like this you might think contracting herpes is enough. But everyone in Jacksonville already has herpes – so they can’t do that.
Instead the disgusting people of Jacksonville have a puppy eating festival. Once a year in Jacksonville, no puppy is safe.
The event draws in a lot of celebrities like Michael Vick, who would otherwise prefer to snort his own poop than go to Jacksonville.
There are no rules on how to cook the puppy or whether the puppy has to be cooked at all. But the puppy must be adorable and at least one child must cry during the festival.
This way, every year the people of Jacksonville get to remember how disgusting they really are for sending Dan Marino off with a 62-7 loss in his final game.
6. Pools/Bad Plumbing, What’s the Difference?:
EverBank Field has pools in the Stadium! Pretty Cool right? Wrong! Those people are swimming in their own urine.
When Everbank was being “renovated” they had some plumbing issues that caused what is known as “backup”. So you know, cut a corner here, cut a corner there – “We have pools in our stadium”
Ever do the backstroke in your own urine? To Jaguar season ticket owners the answer is “Every Sunday”
7. The Owner Will Sell You his Car:
Eccentric owner Shahid Khan is worth well over 5.6 billion. How did he make his fortune? By selling you his old cars – just look at him. He is selling a car in that picture!
What’s wrong with selling his cars to some one who wants to buy a car? Nothing..if the car has an engine. Before selling you the car, Khan removes the engine. The following dialogue ensues:
“Hey you sold me a car without an engine!”,
“No, I sold you a shiny car without an engine”
and in fact most of his cars are shiny, so…
But that is not how he makes his money. Khan takes the engine and sells it to aliens so they can build a weapon to destroy the Earth. All in all, Khan is not a very nice guy but he does have a fantastic mustache.
8. Blake Bortles’s New Girlfriend is Ugly
Sure, I bet you’ve seen her. But that was before Jacksonville drafted Blake Bortles. You might already know that when Bortles was at UCF he dated hot swimsuit models.
But things have changed since coming to Jacksonville. He is now completely undesirable to most women.
Now women look at Bortles like he asked them to chop lumber for the fireplace while he takes a nap. If Bortles goes to a club he is likely to leave with a drink in the face, a kick in the nuts and a lawsuit.
But Blake is known as a nice guy.
He found a woman.
And she does not vomit when he says “hello”
Here is the problem – SERIOUS DOWNGRADE. The only way I can show you is with an illustration. So have a look.
I know what you are saying: Piggy, how can you body shame Miss Smeagol like that? And the answer is: Go Fuck Yourself.
Things are about to get worse when I discuss the Sabans.
9. Nick Saban loves Jacksonville:
Its not really Nick Saban, its his whore wife who loves Jacksonville. She loves the shoes in Jacksonville. You see Jacksonville is the only city that makes shoes big enough for her whore feet.
Why are her feet so big? Well, its a little known fact that all of the Sabans were born with a disease that makes them assholes and causes them to have deformities to their feet, face, brain and testicles. I don’t know what they call that disease, and its too gross for me to look into.
Why does Jacksonville make such big shoes? Have you no humanity? Why would you ask a question like that? Would you rather that cunt solicit sex barefoot? I think if you are asking yourself this you need to rethink your moral stance on the Sabans. These are pathetic people.
Its bad enough Mrs. Saban is married to such an asshole – now you want her to be barefoot while she walks the streets of places other than Miami! What is a matter with you?
Let’s just leave this one alone and let these ogres go about their lives.
10. Bill Belichick loves it too!:
You can cheat in Jacksonville. During an NFL investigation by Ted Wells, which he was paid for in small pacific islands for conducting, the following memo was found:
“Dear Coach Belichick,
In response to your query the answer is YES! More specifically I don’t give a fuck if you cheat or not. Most Jaguars fans are dead inside and won’t know the difference.
Boobbabby Loollally Zoozzazzy! I don’t know what I am saying. I don’t even know what I am saying anymore!!! Gibberish is my chosen form of communication.
Please excuse the drool on this memo, I was shooting bug spray when I wrote it.
– Jags”
It should come to no surprise to you that Coach Belichick is happy to exploit the bug spray addicted Jaguars.
So now that you are armed with all these facts for the game on Sunday, there is only one thing left to say:
Go Dolphins!
Finsmob Unleashed 
Lee,
Just in case you didn’t see this in the text above, here’s a past copy of a note from JS.
On a separate note
Here is a message for our Aussie pal
jetsssuck says:
September 15, 2015 at 1:27 pm (Edit)
The flying Pig____——-can u put this advice for UwantWat tomorrow morning when u post the new article—-it will help him recover with less pain.I don’t have to get up early this week and he is sleeping since he is about 12 hours difference from us
To take a show3er you can get a baby bib or lobster bib to cover the chest stitches so you don’t get them wet.Turn water on then off to rather up then on to rinse off. The first shower is going to hurt.
Use your pillows to cough or laugh by pushing against yourself it hurts but that will slowly get better. Gotta remember they cracked up your clavicle and moved your lungs to the side.
Depending on where they took vein for your heart. If its the upper calf then you will leak clear fluids keep it bandaged don’t worry its normal when walking.
You will regain your appetite and your desire for fluids it took me several weeks
Be carefull while you are on cumiton heart meds its a blood thinner and you can easily bleed out from a simple cut.
Don’t pull anything like lawnmower or open can that is hard to open by twisting for at least 4-6 months. Gonna remember they split open the chest,disconnected the pectorals and your lungs were separated to get to the heart.
If you see mayonnaise looking fluids coming from your stitches then that is a infection. Call your doctor.
Here is a good website and blog that many doctors visit and answer questions.
http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/
whomever is “first”
cut and past this and make this the first post so its there for him to see
Piggy you are one crazy porcine interstellar mofo. Shame to see Blake lose his precious too.
Lee – I noted that you have to hug pillows if you laugh and so it’s probably best not to laugh at the moment, but when you feel up to it, check this out on Hayne’s debut from the Oz Guardian. Make sure all the comments are open and read from the start. Hope it helps to make your recuperation go by a little quicker 😉
http://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/live/2015/sep/15/jarryd-hayne-san-francisco-49ers-debut-against-minnesota-vikings
First, second and third btw.
Clean medal sweep for team GB 😉
Lol- good on Jolly Old England!
Morning Update
Howie 38-13 MIA
Wyo 28-13 MIA
Trypod21-17MIA
Toba 41-13 MIA
Piggy 23-10MIA
Stang 21-7 MIA
Cav 24-13 MIA
Rock 31-13 MIA
BrianNY27-10MIA
UK 23-17 MIA
Ken 30-21 MIA
Old 20-6 MIA
MikeE 23-20 MIA
ALinMIA 24-6MIA
GO PHINS!!!
Piggy
I saw that Sam Maddison, Heath Evans exchange on last nights blog. You should bring it over here for all to see.
Heath Evans, what a
DICK!!!
I am convinced that whatever is going on with Evans, where the Dolphins are concerned, it’s personal for him. He grew up in the Palm Beaches (I think); perhaps when his hometown team didn’t keep him he got severely butt-hurt.
I used to like Evans in a Fins Uni as he gave our running game some physicality, but as a gob-shite “commentator”, he’s the most opinionated a-hole with nothing worth saying that ever walked the earth. He needs to have his tongue circumcised!
I’ll read it, I promise piggy! But first-
Ryan Tannehill will be on Mike and Mike this a.m. @ 7:30.
Ok, I read it. Um- yep.
Just kidding! Another fine piece of satire, Pigsgerald!
ABSOLUTELY CAN’T STAND “Mike and Mike!!” 90 per cent commercials and 10 per cent “I Love New York” from Greenie!! – – Who needs that shit!!! Will NOT watch Tanny on THAT show!
It’s a good thing for you, then, there are other options other than Mike and Mike. I do not like the everyday jets talk, but that’s really my only real criticism. Listen, I live in frickin KY, and everyday, on every stinkin’ sports station you can guarantee you will hear done talk about college basketball- without exception. If you think that is less mind-numbing than the few minutes each day Greenberg kvetches about the jets…
I see that the amount of turnover this team endured is now up to 50%.
MIKE E; TO answer your question, the Orange Bowl’s horrid Polyturf was replaced, I vaguely recall, in the late ’70’s, with REAL GRASS!! American Biltrite, makers of polyturf, went out of business and could no longer replace the artificial turf which, basically, turned to concrete after being exposed to hot Florida summers for a couple of years. MANY careers were shortened by this surface which, eventually, felt like I-95 when you fell on it.
—————————–
PIGGY: THIS WAS one of your best efforts, ever IMHO. –CAN’T WAIT until you do a similar analysis of BUFFALO, America’s armpit!!
LMAO @ Piggy
Lots of funny stuff in this article, specifically Fredwilbur. LOL
This is one of my favorites, but i didnt see the fact i posted yesterday so overall….disappointment…. 🙂
Thanks guys
Actually did a ton of editing on this one
I just kept on making little changes and adding little jokes here and there
The Blake Bortles Smeagol part was a last minute edition
I’m concerned someone from the Alabama mafia may be visiting you. You have besmirched a daughter of the South- that will not go unanswered, sir!
The Saban family name will never be the same
Don’t worry he will leave Alabama high and dry soon and that Alabama Mafia won;t be so loyal then
She’ll still be from the South- Alabama feels it’s their duty to the Confederacy to right all the wrongs inflicted upon their sovereignty by all you Yankee Carpetbaggers!
Those are definitely ten things I didn’t know about Jacksonville. I think you have what you call Blake’s new girlfriend confused with Heath Evan’s girlfriend.
Funny stuff Piggs.
Everbank stadium is actually really f’n nice. My friend Jim who some of you have met will be at the game so we continue to have one of our own in attendance. I would have been there but we have a family thing this weekend that kept me from going.
Last year in J-ville the Fins had two pick six td’s one by Grimes and the other by Delmas, would be nice to see more of those.
Tell Jim not to go in the pool or stare at the TV!
I remember last year driving from 95 to the stadium through the city and my daughter was totally grossed out (well we all were but her the worst) by the car in front of us and the guy hanging out the door drunk puking for about 3 miles in slow moving traffic. And that was on the way to the game.
Happy Birthday Dan Marino
I heard it was yesterday? Missed it- 54 years old. Means his super bowl appearance was 30 years ago.. Seems like it wasn’t so long ago, and yet it seems like it was forever ago. Anyway- Happy Birthday Dan.
Yup it was yesterday
I refresh FB and the very first thing that comes up is a Miami Dolphins page post wishing Dan Happy Birthday, why the hell didn’t they put that up yesterday…
Try Pod says:
September 16, 2015 at 9:50 am
She’ll still be from the South- Alabama feels it’s their duty to the Confederacy to right all the wrongs inflicted upon their sovereignty by all you Yankee Carpetbaggers!
———————————————
Lol nice use of historical colloquialisms
I have been watching the rebroadcast of the Civil War on PBS, so…
LOL. That was pretty funny piggy.
““I live in Jacksonville, what else am I going to do with my time.”” LOL
I hope they don’t fall sleep watching film 🙂
from jasckson
“### Nicest gesture by a Dolphins player this season? Probably Suh buying La-Z-Boy recliners so all the defensive linemen can sit in comfort while they meet, discuss strategy and watch tape in the defensive line room. “That’s very big of him; we’re here more than we’re home,” Cameron Wake said.”
Suh is here, everyone is comfortable now!
lol
LOL!
LMAO Piggy – This one is easily the craziest one yet!
“But the puppy must be adorable and at least one child must cry during the festival.” LOL
Game 2 is on the way, in er, Fredwilbur’s town
You guys must have some questions regarding this upcoming game, or questions about the eked out victory against the mighty mighty Redskins.
Send ’em in! ASK MIKE
NJ1Dolfan@yahoo.com
Mike E. says:
September 16, 2015 at 11:02 am
LMAO Piggy – This one is easily the craziest one yet!
i agree, i mean i eventually had to stop scrolling past and just page down it was so crazy long.
mike,
the only question i have is…….can you keep your answers a bit shorter this ask mike? my fingers are kind of tired from scrolling past piggy’s article today.
Adam Beasley @AdamHBeasley
Mostert said he’ll be returning kickoffs.
Andrew Abramson ✔ @AbramsonPBP
#Dolphins Reshad Jones says hamstring feels better but he’s unsure if he’ll be able to play this week
What? I didn’t know he was questionable. That sucks.
Adam Beasley @AdamHBeasley
Vernon said he’s going to practice today. Grateful he dodged a bullet Sunday.
“Broken plays can be big plays. That’s something I have to work on this week..We left a lot of plays on the field,” Tannehill on Stills miss.
Ryan Tannehill said the Dion Sims is the one play of the game he has huge regrets on. “I have to make that play!”
Armando Salguero @ArmandoSalguero
Ndamukong Suh asked to grade himself in first game for the Dolphins: “Poor.”
Tim, that will hurt us some if SS R. Jones can’t go. We’ll get to see Kovacs in or Michael Thomas.
Am I the only one in the country that changes the channel immediately when I hear Stephen A Smith’s voice?
No
He used to bother a lot more than he does now- Bohmani Jones is the cat I cannot stomach at this point.
GDP
If I remember correctly, Reshad was one of the only guys making tackles last week. That will be real bad for our slippery-handed defense.
Misi and Jenkins had a bunch too. The problem was Sheppard wasn’t.
GDP,
“Now listen here son..I want you to understand what I’m about to tell you, you listening? IF YOU FUMBLE THE FOOTBALL YOUR ASS IS GONE, GOT IT?” – Dan Rizzo to Raheem Mostert on the sideline before going onto the field.
Miami Dolphins Cheer @MDCheer 35m35 minutes ago
Macy was December of our 2015 swimsuit calendar. Check http://www.dolphinscheerleaders.com to see who December 2016 will be!
Chris Perkins @chrisperk 38m38 minutes ago Davie, FL
#Dolphins sign QB Logan Thomas, WR Deon Long, RB Jonas Gray, C Sam Brenner,DE Emmanuel Dieke to practice squad.
Chris Perkins @chrisperk 39m39 minutes ago Davie, FL
#Dolphins release WR EZ Nwachukwu, DT Deandre Coleman from practice squad.
RIP EZ, We barely knew ya :P. DeAndre Coleman is like the rubber man of the PS. Added/subtracted often. They needed to add Dieke with Vernon’s injury.
GDP,
When I saw the coaches film yesterday on that Tannehill TD pass attempt to Sims, i kinda see how it wasn’t an easy throw as TV made it seemed watching live. Sims was still in front his defender deep running at a 45 degree angle
Was a tough throw and unfortunate that Sims landed soooo damn awkwardly…I was hoping he’d come up with the catch….smh!
I’m sure some people blame Tanny for getting Sims hurt but Sims has to take care of himself there. Would he have run into wall if it was there too? I was like why did you come down like that?
“Fredwilbur Jackson holds the world record for sticking the most pencils in his ears.”
LMAO Pig…..I love taking a trip through your mind. Never know where it will go.
Would love to watch Fredwilbur tell that feat to his family at Thanksgiving to watch them proudly react or not, or both. Any way it goes down would be funny. LOL
LOL @ Al on Rizzo to Mostert…yeah, that’s pretty much how it goes. Muffed returns are a game killer more times than not.
Got a call from the Fins tix office yesterday…….DEADLINE for reserving the group section is TOMORROW.
WHO IS IN
Piggy
Stanger (+2, perhaps +4)
OD (better half TBA)
Son (+3)
Rock
Toba (+3, including the dreaded Pats fan)
Brian in NY
THE FENCE — aka you snooze you lose
Getterdone (maybe with +1)
drg (maybe)
Gigi (maybe)
———————
We have 14 solid in the section right now.
Need to hear from GDP, drg and Gigi.
wyoming,
when those old hags from the volkswagon commercials accidentally drive off a cliff, i am pretty damn sure Stephen A Shit will be tied up in the trunk.
They were listening to him on the radio and the radio was still working at the wreckage causing one EMT guy to say jesus fucking christ can someone shut that asshole off?!!!!
As I said- still not as bad as Bohmani.
Mike E, yes Jones had 7 solo tkls & 5 asst, with 1 PD.
BTW, Jamar Taylor had 6 solo tkls, 3 asst, & 1 PD…he needs to stay healthy!
Rob we can only hope!
Tim Knight says:
September 16, 2015 at 12:16 pm
I’m sure some people blame Tanny for getting Sims hurt but Sims has to take care of himself there. Would he have run into wall if it was there too? I was like why did you come down like that?
—-
LOL, yea I can’t believe ANYONE would actually blame Tanny for that…
That’s like blaming a batter for an OF crashing into a wall fielding the ball.
Right, don’t hit it like that again. LOL
Thank you! I was trying to think of some way to address Tim’s defense of Tanne..
Sims said on twitter that he needs to make that catch!
Nothing about His QB trying to get him killed!!
I thought he could have made a highlight type catch…oh well.
We saw how Cameron laid out with a nice grab.
As a receiver, you always feel you have the speed to catch up to those kind of throws. Sims just had too much weight on his body; didn’t have a great running angle to begin with and then was thinking of how to keep his feet in bound before the ball came down near his hands.
WTF is going. this poor kid
http://www.vox.com/2015/9/16/9335793/ahmed-mohamed-irving-bomb-not
Lawsuit time.
WOW, did you see that kids motherboard and collection of electronics…the Head of ISIS is on the phone now recruiting him for a leadership role….LOL
Sounds like a bunch of you know what cops not using their heads but their auto-bigotry. It doesn’t sound like there were any explosives there. SMH
Too bad the kid didn’t respond to bomb questions with something like,
To the cops, “Well, it looks like you probably weren’t very good in Physics”
Or to the teacher, “Well, it looks like you are pretty one dimensional as a teacher. Try exploring science sometime”.
So wife and I are having dinner at the bar last night. They have a bunch of cutesy old stuff on the walls.
One is this old time football mounted on a wooden plaque from like the thirties or around then. I’m sure at some point it was the championship game winner presented by the players to the coach or something like that. For obvious reasons it doesn’t have pressure in it.
I’d seen it many times before, but notice there is a shiny new engraved bronze rectangle at the top.
I walk up to read………..”Property of Tom Brady.”
LOL 🙂
LOL, awesome!
very clever LOL
Chris Perkins @chrisperk 1m1 minute ago Davie, FL
DE Derrick Shelby, SS Reshad Jones appear not be practicing. TE Dion Sims hasn’t been seen at practice so far.
Sims is still trying to find the training facility but he keeps putting SuperNova into his Garmin. 😉
Did you see his breathing while he was laying there. If not then go back and watch it. It looks like he is on a breathing machine. Very robotically patterned deep inhales, deep exhales. He is in a DEEP unconscious state. You could see he was already out before he started flipping over too, his arms are locked into the stat they were when he was trying to make the catch but yet limp at the same time. I was pretty sure it was very serious immediately. He probably will be under concussion evaluation for at least 2 weeks.
Bet with Jones its just resting and healing. He didnt look to have anything seriously wrong with him in the game.
Jones was really good, though he needs to clean up his tackling.
Taylor was good, with exception of the one interference call, and when i went back and watched it close, it was a very iffy call. He didnt pull his hands down, he didnt twist his body, he didnt really affect Jackson’s position on the ball. There may have been a little bit of body contact to the back o Jackson ever so slightly before the ball got there but it was reall a bang bang play.
Grimes pick was as pretty a thing that i have seen in a while. Only surpassed by his pick against Detroit last year which is one of the best plays i have ever seen. He had a couple times his coverage wasnt good or he gave too much cushion to a receiver, but overall his play was very good.
Brice McCain looked very good, most his coverage was very tight, and he made some really good plays on the ball. His interception was pretty nice. He had a few blown coverage including one early on Reed that cost us decent yardage, and he missed a couple tackles. Overall good performance from him.
Aikens also looked pretty good, was one really good pop he put on someone too, i think it was garcon, but im sure he thought about it when he went into Aikens zone afterwards.
Thomas was the only one i really saw any breakdowns on out of the DB’s, and he wasnt awful, but when your not out there a bunch of plays and you have sloppy tackling and bad coverage on a few of them, then overall you just don’t look great.
I thought Taylor’s coverage was about as textbook as you can get but not in the new NFL.
Aikens will really begin to flourish with more experience….very good selection by Hickey!
Brice McCain was a very smart FA move!
Taylor defensive holding call was total BS. And I agree that jones had a few mis tackles specially on their first drive.
I thought Taylor was flagged correctly. He had his hands on the inside part of the receivers jersey as he broke out on the pattern. Was it necessary? who knows, i don’t think the WR was going to make the play anyway but it was in the area that refs deem catchable in a perfect world.
It kills me watching games with all the friggin flags for PI or defensive holding.
It’s ruined and made a mockery of the game…IMO.
Every FRIGGIN time a receiver doesn’t make a catch, they look at the refs with their hands up like, where’s the flag….turns my stomach as a player who played back when football was a contact sport….SMH!!!
Yeah I feel the same way.
D, yeah I saw how Sims was laying there totally out…and I was like, how did that happen???
Anyways, yes he’s likely out for 2-4 weeks….might be best to bring him back after the bye…IMO.
Tim Knight says:
September 16, 2015 at 12:16 pm
I’m sure some people blame Tanny for getting Sims hurt but Sims has to take care of himself there.
wow, i never saw any where tanny getting blamed but is so…..wow. not only take care of himself. he was diving out of bounds for the ball. i mean dive ok but if you are out of bounds and diving that is on you.
Tim Knight says:
September 16, 2015 at 12:16 pm
I’m sure some people blame Tanny for getting Sims hurt but Sims has to take care of himself there. Would he have run into wall if it was there too? I was like why did you come down like that?
———————
I don’t blame Tanny but I don’t blame Sims either. The guy was giving amazing effort. He didn’t have time to think “If I lay out for this ball will I knock myself clean out?”
I respect a guy that gives that kind of effort for his team.
No knocking the effort but you have to be responsible for your own body too. He didn’t even brace himself, just let himself smash into the ground. I found it weird.
I wish they would call more holding against the tackles that are blocking Wake. He’s pretty much held on every passing play.
Bouldr man thats one of the biggest things i saw when i really went back to examine it. MULTIPLE time and by MULTIPLE OL they had their hands blatantly on the outside of the pads or pulling the jersey.
Part of the new NFL.
TBH when i went back and reviewed the LB’s i didnt see much break down on Sheppard. He was out of position a decent amount, his coverage wasnt superb but he was overall decent. Their line was just really executing well. They had plenty of starting out as doubles but slipping off and enganing LB’ers.
I think the biggest issues was our read and react from the LB’ers and agressiveness once they did read it. Most the time the RB had hit the hole and was burtsing to the second level before they were making their moves towards them. Momentum and hard running did the rest.
DT’s didnt really look bad, Suh had his legs cut out from him most every play, some of the times while he was enganged by another OL, but they “accidentally” fell when they did it so it didnt get called, but accidents dont happen that damn often. They also schemed their offense to run away from him a lot, of course. Im sure it was a frustrating day for him.
Mitchell ate up block pretty well, and got decent push on the OL during pass plays, but they just did a good job helping each other out. Plenty of times i saw the tackle or center help the guards secure their blocks or double up on them then pick up another blocker. We should have done more middle blitzes, i think those would have been really effective.
In general their OL just looked very good. I know they weren’t suppose to be, but last Sunday…they did a great job..
BoulderPhinfan says:
September 16, 2015 at 12:24 pm
WTF is going. this poor kid
yeah right. sooooo, some redneck kid in alabama goes to school wearing a white sheet he isnt going to catch shit for it too. dont tell me this kid didnt know what he was doing. even one of his teachers told him to not show it to anyone, yet he lets the alarm go off. i call bs on this kid
lol. I’d hate to be your kid :). “Why are you buttoning your dress shirt to the top? are you in a mexican gang? “
Yeah building a clock and wearing a white sheet is the same. LOL
I call BS on you
GDP,
I just hate are the inconsistencies.
Did you watch the Vikes-Niners game? Wallace went deep for a TD and clearly was hacked by DB as he was trying to haul in the ball. The DB wasn’t even playing the ball and no call was made.
Dion Sims diving in the shallow end zone.
LOL
D,
The one thing I liked from Aiken is that if your going to give up a completion (not that he did persay) then lay the wood as he did one time to Garcon.
D,
Good thing you didn’t watch the Niners game. In the 2nd half during one of Hyde’s long runs, I saw the Niners C with one hand high on the DT’s shoulder pad and another pulling the back of his pants at the waist with no flags.
Maybe they have decided not to call holding this year lol. Guess we will know when a few more games go by. If you microscopically watch games, you see a lot of it, but i know the difference in what they generally allow and what they generally call, and unless they have changed their stance, we got held A LOT.
getterdone says:
September 16, 2015 at 12:40 pm
D, yeah I saw how Sims was laying there totally out…and I was like, how did that happen???
Anyways, yes he’s likely out for 2-4 weeks….might be best to bring him back after the bye…IMO.
———————————————
At first i wasnt 100% it was concussion because i have seen people get the breath knocked out of them so hard it triggered a black out. It wasnt until after they got him on the cart taking him off and watching how he held his head and that foggy kind of look he had to him that i was like damn, that was a really bad concussion then. He hardly hit his head, but its that quick snap from babrupt change in motion that makes the brain bounce off the skull, so doesnt really take a hard impact straight to the head to do it.
Agreed, and I too thought he got the air knocked out of him when I saw the ball under his ribs….I think he got both, air knocked out and rung his bell with the concussion.
The unwritten rule is if you are the home team, then crowd factor will determine if you want to make the call or not LOL
This is probably true lol. Some of that shit was blatant.
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/nfl-allow-patriots-reinstate-locker-173127775.html
http://www.thephinsider.com/2015/9/16/9333935/miami-dolphins-news-you-may-have-missed-09-16-2015-jarvis-landry-ndamukong-suh-zach-vigil
Bills vs PAts this week. How about the Bills opening season with colts,pats,fins
The Colts game, i would have thought the colts scored more, but i wasnt overly suprised with the outsome. The Colts D isnt that great and having to watch for Tyrod as a running threat was more than they could handle. I was surprised that TY and Dorsett didnt eat their secondary alive. We will hit them where they are weakest though which is across the middle. Their LB’s and Safeties will get a pretty hard workout against us.
I was surprised with how good the bills defense was. Last year they played straight up with nothing special but this yr they looked like Rex Ryans 1st yr with Jets. Blitzing packages that overwhelmed the weak side. It will be interesting to see if Brady can handle schemes Ryan can bring with a defense as good as Buffalo
Don’t worry, Brady is now been vindicated and is playing…superstar 😉
This is about who suspended the equipment guys.Nfl said they didn’t and Pats said they didn’t. I expect a lawsuit form these guys. The equipment manager has been with team 38 yrs. McNaly is a game day employee who only makes 50 bucks a game.
https://twitter.com/allbrightnfl/status/644183520856932352
Is that Bridgewater or Wallace?
http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/the-turnstile/game-of-thrones–mountain-challenges-arm-wrestling-champion-174059304.html
Hal Habib @gunnerhal
Classic Odrick, on how weird it will be to face old team Sunday: “I can’t tell you how weird until things get weird.”
Adam Beasley @AdamHBeasley
Derrick Shelby isn’t practicing either. Wearing the Ray Charles sunglasses after suffering a black eye Sunday.
good one
GDP — you want into the group section at the Fest? Need to give them a final number tmrw?
Even if you can’t commit now you could probably pick up on stub hub and make your way to us. Not thinking the team will get that hot.
Crap, hmm, lemme get ahold of the person I’m supposed to be going with….will get back to ya before end of day hopefully.
The hotel costs was a concern…1 night or 2 nights etc.
Thanks for reminder.
Jetssuck,
Wonder why you would be surprised at the Bills success on defense.
THey were the #2 rated defense by Football Outsiders last year behind Seattle. #1 vs the pass and #12 vs the run.
They played different from last yr. Last yr they didn’t blitz as often. Ryan already had a decent defense and he changed the defense to a blitzing team that overwhelms the offensive weak side. Maybe it was schemed that way for that game. I can’t argue with Ryans coaching, afterall he always has a defensive team that ranks at near the top every year.
We’ll see how they are after belicheat is through with them
GDP,
Regarding Odrick’s comment, it only gets weird when this happens
LOL, Randy Starks vs. TSA agent Fister Hancock.
Jetssuck,
I agree that Ryan knows how to use defensive players better than the guy before. Bills front 7 puts alot of pressure on QB without a blitz but Ryan is a guy who likes to do that often and force the QB to throw. However, the Bills D was elite last year and this year is no different.
well guys I think I ‘m gonna take a nap I’ve been up since noon
Al in MIA says:
September 16, 2015 at 12:47 pm
lol. I’d hate to be your kid :).
why, cause if my kid dressed like a gang member i would tell him or if you are a muslim and you build something that looks like a bomb expect to be questioned or if you dress like a slut expect to be treated like one. yeah it would suck being my kid and hearing the truth.
lmfao @ dress like a slut expect to be treated like one.
Btw,
Not sure if you guys saw this yesterday but PFF broke down Tyrod Taylor’s Week 1 effort……
“16 of Taylor’s 22 throws had a depth of 5 yards or less.”
Read more at
https://www.profootballfocus.com/blog/2015/09/15/can-bills-dink-and-dunk-offense-succeed-with-qb-tyrod-taylor/
Tim Knight says:
September 16, 2015 at 12:49 pm
Yeah building a clock and wearing a white sheet is the same. LOL
you are right…..silly me….a muslim kid building something that looks like a bomb. what was i thinking. that happens everyday. how dare i question a muslim
I thought it was a bad comparison with the white sheet. The cops also knew it wasn’t a bomb but kept going with that in ignorant ways.
D,
TY Hilton was eating up the Bills secondary but he left with a knee injury late in the 3Q after 7 catches and 88 yards
Bottom of the roster guys are like frigging yo-yo’s. Up and down, and up and down. Builds character, or psychoses, one or the other. lol
tim,
i am not defending the cops. all i am saying is this muslim built something that looked like a bomb and now he is upset he was questioned. it is just more of the ‘oh i did it, but it isnt my fault society’
lmfao, because all eletronics are bombs now.
I guess since mobile phones are the common detonators used by terrorists in public bombings they should be banned too
My question is: how did they know he was Muslim? Was he wearing a tag or something? Did he have something on his person that identified him as such? This is what confuses me.
His name is Muhammad Akbar Bin Laden and at nap time he’s seen kneeling on his mat with a chicken head in his hands chanting unrecognizable things.
Hey muslim kid….welcome to the world of guilt by association. How about try to invent a different culture and mindset among your people…now that would be life changing (literally) and good for the greater of the world (society).
he’s in 9th grade…I’m sure changing the mindset of his people is a little out his grasp
He could start small, grass roots baby!
Ya know, show us something we haven’t already seen….lol
As for banning cell phones mentioned above….well, no need, NSA monitors them all.
Thank you radical muslims 😉
Seriously, bro? He’s a kid.
Try
That was cool. Not surprised he lost. He still has all that poison coursing through his body.
I had forgotten! Well, he’ll be defending Cercei’s honor here soon…
al,
just curious. so you going to get on a plane with a muslim, kid of not, that has an ‘electronic’ device that looks like a bomb?
i dont get the big issue here. the article ‘it looked like a bomb’ it didnt say he had a cell phone or a lap top. it said a clock that looked like a bomb.
He is the Muslim McGyver ….lol
It only looks like a bomb to ignorant people. A typical bomb has powder compressed into a plastic/paper based rectangular/square box.
try,
i dont know if he is or isnt. the article said ‘muslim night grader’. now i am not herd and believe everything i read, but my comments above were/are based on what the article read.
I’m asking how did THEY know he was Muslim? I don’t hold you responsible for that- but my bigger point is, why was he identified that way in the first place? Was it valid? Was it assumed?
Tim Knight says:
September 16, 2015 at 1:48 pm
Seriously, bro? He’s a kid.
lol, yeah. duh.. who ever heard of a kid terrorist. or hell even a kid in high school killing other kids in class……………….that is just so ridiculous
Did you pay attention to what the original comment was? GD asked him to change the mindset of his people. This discussion is getting fucking retarded. I’m out.
The engineering teacher already knew it wasn’t a bomb so why leave it up to the kid to not clear the air. That’s where the mistake was made. The kid didn’t show it to anyone else, the alarm went off. What a jerk! LOL
I was a terrorist in grade school….got suspended for doing stupid shit to other kids. They all lived btw.
tim,
did you pay attention to my original comment. i just said what did he expect.
imo the problem started at home. where were the parents. why didnt they step up and say, that looks like a bomb. stop it.
‘why was he identified that way in the first place? Was it valid? Was it assumed?’
try, that i have no idea. hell there is lots wrong. why didnt the parents step up? why didnt the first teacher take it? did the cops overreact?
my only point was the kid should not of been shocked with the way he was treated.
Agreed that there was “lots wrong”.
The pins should hire him as a clock management specialist
Phins
BOOM, post of the day….Philbin is on the NSA surveillance phone as we speak, err type.
LOL
Funny how sensitive we traditional Americans have become PC brainwashed by the media over the last few decades or longer.
You think for one minute that if you as an American did something a lil off kilter in another country, that you & your family wouldn’t be in serious trouble???
Relax, the kid will live to make another science project, maybe this time he invents a bomb proof shield, or a highly sensitive LCD timer detector that stops the clock.
Now that’s genius!!! 😀
The engineering teacher who saw it, praised the work, new it wasn’t a bomb and told him not to show anyone else because it could be misconstrued as such is the one who screwed up. The kid probably never thought bomb when he was making it.
you’re one racist individual dude.
try,
yep. lots wrong. and the kid was part of lots wrong.
that was my only point. then the next thing i know al wants to be my kid, tim is burning his white sheets and getterdone is wanting muslim babies to repent.
Damn straight!!!
http://www.maxpreps.com/widgets/video.aspx?id=35e97381-b481-4aed-947f-db4e0390385b
Kids got some Fred Astaire moves.
Crazy run but what a terrible way to hold the football LOL. Coaches nightmare.
Al in MIA says:
September 16, 2015 at 2:10 pm
It only looks like a bomb to ignorant people. A typical bomb has powder compressed into a plastic/paper based rectangular/square box.
I hate when I try to say something clever and then autocorrect has other plans and makes me look like a bufoon.
al
i never saw what it looked like. there wasnt a pic. i am just going by what the article read. if it didnt look like a bomb, then my whole point is moot
http://www.dallasnews.com/incoming/20150916-0916ahmedclock.jpg.ece/BINARY/0916ahmedclock
LOL…now i know what you are going to say, but anyway…
Btw,
Was looking back at some stuff on Reshad Jones, probably the best player Ireland took (I don’t give Ireland credit for Tannehill because lets face it, Philbin/Sherman already decided they wanted RT if available and the owner wanted a QB). I didn’t realize that he was Rivals.com #1 Safety in HS. He sure is realizing his talents now.
Good post, I endorse this comment.
I guess, in texas, if you’re name is Mohammad you can’t participate in science projects that involve electronics or you might get handcuffed in front of your elementary school classmates and taken into custody.
Yeah, kinda sucks getting across the open borders only to find America isn’t perfect but still a thousand times better than the shit holes your parents left…Oh well, Aruba next. 😉
The teachers and cops all displayed stupidity. The kid did nothing wrong. If his name was Biff Ellington they probably would have asked him to show it to the entire class.
didn’t your parents or grand parents leave a shit hole at some point to get here?
You probably wouldn’t have liked it if they were profiled when they got here.
al (my son),
ok, i cant tell from that. i still think the kid is part to blame for what he brought on himself.
but like a famous eunuch said. enough we have beaten the topic to death
boulder,
well you can participate, just dont build ones that look like bombs.
I’m sure a 9 year old kid knows what a bomb looks like.
You can say whatever you want but this is racial profiling pure and simple.
Comedy Central promo for South Parks episode tonight lol
LMAO, now that’s comedy.
….and profiling too btw. 😉
One of the few articles i havent seen pop up or read about yet, the Muslim Kid thing i mean, kinda glad i havent.
LOL, it’s all good….just a lil misunderstanding a over reactions in a PC world that doesn’t know which way to go.
BoulderPhinfan says:
September 16, 2015 at 2:28 pm
I’m sure a 9 year old kid knows what a bomb looks like.
You can say whatever you want but this is racial profiling pure and simple.
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Fuck i dont know that i know what a bomb looks like nowdays. TSA limits bottles of liquids and gels, and makes you take your shoes off to see if your hiding bomb components in there, so WTF would that bomb look like and does that meet any sort of “normal” description for a bomb? Shit, IMO the stupidest bomb you could build would be one that looks like what everyone thinks one looks like anyways, so probably the safest object to ever see is one that looks like a traditional bomb lol.
Norm Crosby?
boulder,
ninth GRADER. not a nine year old. and yeah, part of my point. it is racial profiling. why he should have known better.
Boulder, we all get profiled one way or another to one degree or another….get used to the NWO and Orwellian society my friend.
When they profile me i aske them to do it stright on, because my face always looks fatter from the side.
Cue facial recognition technology now being put into place. 😉