Are you ready for some Pokey?
I know what you are thinking. No Colonpokey, stay away. I’m a rational fan. I will not be bending over for you. Go somewhere else to someone with unrealistic expectations.
You might be right. You are coming off a 6-10 season. You fired your very disappointing coach, you may be just one year removed from defending that coach. So his failure was particularly devastating to you.
You are a great fan of the Dolphins. But you will not fall for it this year. Not this year! I will wait and see what happens.
Let’s see it on the field right Dolphans?
That is very logical thinking. The sort of thinking that helps you avoid a little pokey this season. It makes perfect sense that you are thinking that way now. Its practically biological. Let me show you. This is a photo of a normal human heart. Looks normal to me.
But a Dolphan…well their heart looks a little different. Look at this! Look at what you have done with your heart! Heart break after heart break every season. You have followed this team so intensely and with such passion your heart looks like Rosie O’Donnell.
Once your heart goes O’Donnell its so ugly its broken and can’t be broken again.
So you are safe from pokey right. WRONG! Do not underestimate the seduction of pokey.
I have something to tell you about. Dion Jordan is eligible for reinstatement.
I will say it again. We might get Dion Jordan back!
Want to hear more don’t you?
Oh…heehee…come in…the water is warm. Can you pick up the soap I dropped. Heehee…don’t worry, I will be gentle, at first…
What? Why so standoffish? Don’t be so shy?
Oh I know…I know. You aren’t falling for that. You expect nothing from Dion Jordan. This idea that Dion Jordan is a part of this team now…finally after three disappointing years…
After a ear long suspension following a year when he was suspended for 6 games, following a year when he could not get not he field.
Well that is unbelievable. You may have even taken steps to rid yourself of all Dion Jordan hope. Maybe something of a ceremony involving fire.
But it’s not so simple to forget that potential is it.
He was the #3 pick in the draft! How can the #3 pick be such a dud. Remember when he was drafted? Remember What you thought?
This guy is going to line up on the other side of Wake. He is going to be a beast.
He’s 6’6 with no body fat. Look at the plays he makes in those highlight clips at Oregon.
Dion Jordan will be a cornerstone of our defense.
Okay, so maybe he was not a cornerstone. But Philbin really was a bit queazy when asked to play him as a rookie. He just would not let him on the field. Freakin Philbin…he did it with Miller…So that must apply to Jordan too. That is one reason why Jordan was held back since being drafted.
And then he made a mistake or two in his second year, so he missed 6 games. But he still did’t get any playing time. And then he became a fuckface and missed the entire 2015 year. What a bust!
But there are murmurs of a comeback season now.
He’s been practicing with his good friend and former teammate Kiki Alonso. The two have been dedicated to helping this tam this offseason.
Kiko says Jordan wants to play linebacker. So maybe that was the problem with Jordan…he should have been a linebacker all this time.
No wonder he wasn’t contributing! That’s all some one needs to turn things around. A little support from a friend and a new start. Dion Jordan may just be something in 2016…
Oh…hello there…heehee…looks like you may be warming up to some pokey.
Maybe he sticks at DE and the Dolphins work him in with Wake and Williams to form a formidable edge rush.
Maybe his agent is right, Jordan will be comeback player of the year.
Yeah…I think you are ready for some pokey. Keep holding out a little hope for Dion Jordan Dolphans. Pokey is here to comfort you.
You aren’t so jaded that you have no hope. And where there is broken hope, there is pokey.
Come take a ride we me…we will have a talk…heehee…about it…