Okay, you haven’t heard from the Little Prawn in some time. He is a quiet little shellfish, especially when his Dolphins lose.
But like all Dolfans, he still watches the game –
questioning what he is doing with his life.
And hoping the Dolphins will finally get out of this rut.
So, like the rest of you, the Little Prawn watched the game excited at the chance to take a big division game.
Things were looking up for Dolphins fans at 12:59 P.M.
We knew that Brady was out for his part in a cheating scandal you may have heard Patriots fans whine about.
But Rob Gronkowski was also out.
So the Dolphins were set to take on Jimmy Garoppolo and an undermanned Patriots team.
But then it happened…
The same thing that always happens…
The Dolphins looked like a high school tam playing a pro team.
The offense had 2 very quick three and outs.
The headsets didn’t work right!
Ryan Tannehill looked like he was confronted with something he just didn’t understand.
And before he threw 3 passes the Patriots had thrown 3 TDs.
Jimmy Garrappolo looked all world. Dissecting the Dolphins zone.
Here Prawny musters up the energy to point out that
THE GODDAM RECEIVER IS BEHIND YOU HOWARD!!!
The Patriots exploited the weaknesses in our passing defense early and got ahead of the Dolphins fast!
It was like the Dolphins could not do anything right.
They could not get a first down.
They could not complete a pass.
They could not get any yards on the ground.
In fact, for the 2nd week in a row, the Dolphins were not able to gain much on the ground most of the game.
It turns out Ryan Tannehill is the team’s leading rusher through two weeks…OUCH!
The Patriots scored often and early through the air
But they ran well too
by the end of the game Legarret Blount would rush for 123 yards.
The Dolphins could not stop him.
Here Prawny demonstrates that this:
IS NOT HOW TO MAKE A FUCKING TACKLE!!!
Things were so bad that Martellus Bennett told the Foxboro Media that he was having the best time of his career.
And you can understand why –
It seemed at times like the Dolphins defense wasn’t aware they should cover him.
their was a glimmer…
There is nothing more inspiring then causing an injury to a team you hate in Prawny’s world.
Especially when that team’s entire offense in made up of guys that dress like they shop with Justin Bieber.
And Garoppolo goes down!
While New England mourned at the loos of their latest star child
The Little Prawn yelled at the screen “I hope your brain bleeds out of your ears you fuck!”
Bill Belicheat apparently could not figure out a way to break the rules and get out of the rest of the game.
So he turned to someone named Jacoby Brissett
Who? In this photo The Little Prawn points out a coach who is probably more uncomfortable than a Monday Night Football Audience listening to the sound of Charles Woodson’s voice.
Seriously, does Charles Woodson eat live frogs.
What is going on with his voice?
He sounds like a muppet who just hit puberty
But back to the game.
The Patriots were able to avoid a disaster by avoiding mistakes.
Ryan Tannehill looked in control the entire 2nd half.
We’ve seen Tannehill compile stats in garbage time before.
But there was something different on Sunday. He passed for almost 400 yards. But who cares about the yardage.
The game was in our grasp.
The Dolphins were a play away from the win and the passing game…
it looked like a machine.
Landry and Parker both had over 100 yards receiving.
And there were TD passes to guys that dropped crucial passes last week.
Both Stills and Cameron had TD passes.
It helps that the QB was hitting the tiniest windows.
In the end.
it didn’t matter.
The Dolphins lost again.
there may be hope for the 2016 Dolphins.
….stop me if you think you heard this one before…
it doesn’t matter…you are gonna watch next week anyway
try to enjoy it.
Prawny is willing to do whatever it takes.