Piggy, Wedge, Mustachio, Colonpokey and the Mediocre White are all gathered around a Christmas Tree in the Barn
The Flying Pig: Come on everyone, gather round for the annual tradition
Mustachio: Affanculo! I’m so excited. It’s the Holidays again
The Flying Pig: Does everyone have their ornaments?
EVERYONE NODS THEIR HEADS
Wedge: Me first!
The Flying Pig: Everyone is going to get their chance Wedge
Colonpokey: Come on….let’s see it Wedge…
(he pauses a minute)
Wedge: To honor the next great coach of the Miami Dolphins. I give you this Adam Gase Memorial Headset Ornament. (He Hangs the Ornament on the tree)
Mustachio: Excellente Choice Wedge!
The Mediocre White: I wish I would have thought of that one bro…
Colonpokey: What did you bring ?
The Mediocre White: Um…I sort of forgot…
The Mediocre White: But…I still have this old Dion Jordan Ornament from a few years ago (He hangs it on the tree)
THE ORNAMENT SITS ON THE TREE FOR A SECOND AND THEN FALLS OFF CRASHING TO THE GROUND
The Flying Pig: Just like the real Jordan! Always Disappointing!
Colonpokey: My turn!
The Flying Pig: (sigh) this better not be another rubber fist!
Colonpokey: This year to honor my love for the NY Jests Quarterbacks…
Wedge: Colonpokey NO! You will infect the tree with sucking
Colonpokey: I brought this!
The Flying Pig: What is it?
Mustachio: It looks like bread?
Colonpokey: That’s right! Look inside the bread…Its a Bryce Petty Sandwich!
The Flying Pig: You can’t even hang it on the tree!
Colonpokey: You don’t hang it on the tree Piggy….You place it in a hospital bed and feed it applesauce for the rest of its life just like the real Bryce Petty….oh my poor Bryce Petty…
Wedge: Um…okay Mustachio…your turn
Mustachio: I want to honor the Dolphins with my ornament for parting ways with Brent Grimes and that Puttana MIKO!
The Flying Pig: Is that a picture of what I think Mustachio?
Mustachio: Yes prosiciutto! I thought it was the best way to represent Miko Grimes
Wedge: But its a……
Mustachio: That’s right! Its a cunt!
The Flying Pig: Um…Mustachio, maybe we should put that one in a spot on the tree where no one can find it..
SUDDENLY THE LITTLE PRAWN BARGES INTO THE ROOM
HE IS CARRYING AN ORNAMENT FOR THE TREE
Wedge: What is that Prawny?
The Little Prawn: “…………….”
The Little Prawn: “……………”
The Little Prawn: (screaming) IT’S A REX RYAN SNOW ANGEL. TO CELEBRATE HIS FIRING NEXT WEEK!
Mustachio: Oh…of course…Piggy…what is that you have?
The Flying Pig: This is my ornament for the top of thee tree
Wedge: What is it? I don’t recognize it…
PIGGY OPENS UP A BOX. A BRIGHT LIGHT SHINES FROM THE BOX
The Flying Pig: I know…it’s been a while…
PIGGY REACHES INSIDE THE BOX AND BEGINS TO PULL OUT HIS ORNAMENT
The Mediocre White: Its beautiful!
Mustachio: Que bella!
PIGGY PLACES IT ON TOP OF THE TREE
The Flying Pig: Ahhhh….there it is…right there for us….
LET’S GO GET IT DOLPHINS!!!