The Porcine Oddyssey #104: Merry Playoff Chances!


Piggy, Wedge, Mustachio, Colonpokey and the Mediocre White are all gathered around a Christmas Tree in the Barn

The Flying Pig:  Come on everyone, gather round for the annual tradition


Mustachio:  Affanculo!  I’m so excited.  It’s the Holidays again

The Flying Pig:  Does everyone have their ornaments?


Wedge:  Me first!

The Flying Pig: Everyone is going to get their chance Wedge

Colonpokey:  Come on….let’s see it Wedge…

Wedge:  Okay!

(he pauses a minute) gasemd-ornamnet

Wedge:  To honor the next great coach of the Miami Dolphins.  I give you this Adam Gase Memorial Headset Ornament. (He Hangs the Ornament on the tree)

Mustachio:  Excellente Choice Wedge!

The Mediocre White:  I wish I would have thought of that one bro…


Colonpokey:  What did you bring ?

The Mediocre White:  Um…I sort of forgot…

Mustachio:  But….Tradicion!

The Mediocre White:  But…I still have this old Dion Jordan Ornament from a few years ago (He hangs it on the tree)


The Flying Pig:  Just like the real Jordan!  Always Disappointing!

Colonpokey:  My turn!

The Flying Pig:  (sigh) this better not be another rubber fist!

Colonpokey: This year to honor my love for the NY Jests Quarterbacks…pettybread

Wedge:  Colonpokey NO! You will infect the tree with sucking

Colonpokey:  I brought this!

The Flying Pig:  What is it?

Mustachio:  It looks like bread?

Colonpokey:  That’s right!  Look inside the bread…Its a Bryce Petty Sandwich!

The Flying Pig:  You can’t even hang it on the tree!

Colonpokey:  You don’t hang it on the tree Piggy….You place it in a hospital bed and feed it applesauce for the rest of its life just like the real Bryce Petty….oh my poor Bryce Petty…

Wedge:  Um…okay Mustachio…your turn

Mustachio:  I want to honor the Dolphins with my ornament for parting ways with Brent Grimes and that Puttana MIKO!


The Flying Pig:  Is that a picture of what I think Mustachio?

Mustachio:  Yes prosiciutto!  I thought it was the best way to represent Miko Grimes

Wedge:  But its a……

Mustachio:  That’s right!  Its a cunt!

The Flying Pig:  Um…Mustachio, maybe we should put that one in a spot on the tree where no one can find it..




Wedge:  What is that Prawny?

The Little Prawn: “…………….”

Mustachio:  What?

The Little Prawn:  “……………”


Wedge:  What?


Mustachio:  Oh…of course…Piggy…what is that you have?

The Flying Pig:  This is my ornament for the top of thee tree

Wedge:  What is it?  I don’t recognize it…


The Flying Pig:  I know…it’s been a while…


The Mediocre White:  Its beautiful!

Mustachio:  Que bella!


The Flying Pig:  Ahhhh….there it is…right there for us….



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220 Responses to The Porcine Oddyssey #104: Merry Playoff Chances!

  1. 81Howie says:

    I think if Bat and Ten both win out and we go 1 and 1 we all end up 10-6 with both them Fucks having beat us.

    • The Flying Pig says:

      That is what I was thinking too

      I don’t think the buffalo game is win and in I think we need to win
      And a couple of teams have to lose

    • D says:

      We really only have to worry about Balt. Tennessee if they win out wont be in competition with us for a WC spot, they will win the division.

  2. D says:

    Our playoff scenario right now are these
    2W = in.
    1W + DEN L + BALT L = in.

    If we win against Buffalo we get the added pleasure of double tap eliminating them, because they are out with a win by us or a loss by them.

    If we lose, then NE is a must win and could also be down to having to hope that one of the other teams lost their game, which may still happen if we don’t win both.

  3. Mike E. says:


    It’s simple. If any one of their teammates wants to win the game, they know it’s less likely w/o their star RB. Whether their teammates understand why he’s doing it or not, it’s still a selfish act, it’s ME over everyone else. I just can’t see it any other way, and will you please get that silly avatar from the other blog!!

    • D says:

      Would you take him off your draft board because of it?

      • Mike E. says:

        I would interview him hard, and ask him why he felt that it was OK to do that, and I’d also ask him if he asked all of his teammates how they felt before he made his decision. I’d also be sure to speak to some of his teammates behind his back to hear their side of it too.

  4. D says:

    stangerx says:
    December 19, 2016 at 7:14 pm

    Why do we need a Baltimore loss? They are playing the Steelers.

    If Baltimore wins and we do, then Steelers and Ravens are both 9-6 and one game behind us. Next week best both can do is same as us. Ravens would hold the division on tie-breaker and we have head-to head versus Pit with the same record.
    If the Ravens won their division, then we wouldnt have to worry about them as competition for the WC spot, and we have the tiebreaker over Steelers. So i guess that scenario works out. I thought the Steelers were like 10 wins already.

    • stangerx says:

      Nope — Steelers have nine wins just like us. Part of why they win next week they take the division and if we win that would leave us two ahead of the Ravens with one to go. The Steelers lose to the Ravens…..and back to what I said above.

  5. 81Howie says:

    No Wait
    The way I figured it last night might have been correct
    Just beat BUF
    no wait

  6. D says:

    Mando is right we COULD get in the playoffs next weekend IF we win and Denver loses, we actually are ok if BALT wins or loses after i went back and checked. If BALT wins against PITT, they will both be 9-6, BALT owning the tiebreaker for division win. It would still be possible for PITT to win the division however, IF BALT loses to CINCY, but that would give us the scenario of a BALT loss to go with a win against BUFF. IF BALT loses, its a done deal. PITT is in as division leader, and BALT is out with a win by us against BUFF. So really it does kind of come down to us getting it done in BUFF, and some help from either KC or OAK, KC would just keep us from having to scoreboard watch on week 17.

    • D says:

      There is no way out of needing a Denver loss though.

      • stangerx says:

        Not next week at least. No need for anyone to lose if we win the next two though. And sure would be nice to have the Colts beat the Raiders. Couldn’t care less who wins the AFC South, but sure would be good if the Pats had nothing to play for in Week 17 at the Rock.

  7. D says:

    Mike E. says:
    December 19, 2016 at 7:25 pm

    I would interview him hard, and ask him why he felt that it was OK to do that, and I’d also ask him if he asked all of his teammates how they felt before he made his decision. I’d also be sure to speak to some of his teammates behind his back to hear their side of it too.
    In general though it would hurt your evaluation of him and most likely, at the very least, lower his position on your board?

    • Mike E. says:

      I suppose that would depend on his answers, and the answers of his teammates.

    • D says:

      For me i dont know what it would do to my board. I think it would ultimately not change it. Knowing that the guy bailed out on his team wouldnt set well with me, but i can understand that fear he probably has of what happens if i go out there and in this game, that could ultimately mean nothing to my school or my teammates (its not like its playing for a NC, its not really even a top bowl game) then i have lost millions for what….

      I agree with you, though, it does probably mean a lot what his teammates were saying. If they were like, go on man you do you, we got this…. then thats not a big thing.If they were like man we need you out there, and he still just walked on, it is probably another deal for him to walk away in that scenario. It would go a long way to just know he asked for their opinions IMO.

  8. Mike E. says:


    I’ll give you an analogy I deal with, and I’m curious to see if you agree with me on this.

    Where I work, there are a lot of disgruntled and unhappy employees. Best quick reason I can give you is we have a staff of approximately 100 + people spread out over 6 offices, with one office having the most, at maybe 1/3 of all the employees, including the surgical center. What some people do at work when they feel underappreciated is they don’t fully do their job, they don’t help out their coworkers by simply doing the courteous things like picking up the phone when your coworker is busy, because they feel like they’re not appreciated by management, so why should they work any harder than they have to. The end result of that prevailing attitude is the only people you end up screwing are your coworkers, because the work STILL has to get done, and you’re just piling more on someone else’s plate that may be already overworked. The management NEVER feels the wrath of these unhappy workers, only the coworkers do, yet I see it over and over again. To me, to an extent, this is similar, with the stars deciding not to play in a game to guarantee their health for their future career.

    • D says:

      I see that in my business too, hell i have heard employees say that stuff stright up. Why should we do extra work if its not appreciated or rewarded. I tell them its because you have to do your best no matter what so as not to ruin the way they see them and therefore become a self fulfilled prophecy, with worse raises, etc. They need to take pride in being the best them they can be.

      Im not sure thought he scenario matches up perfectly because for those guys they arent giving half assed effort out on the field, they are balling out there, they are doing their best game in and game out, and now they are more just trying to not watch their future disappear in smoke because of one last game that may or may not mean anything to anyone. I fully agree with what you said is that a lot depends on the feelings of the players, and i wouldnt mean just one or two of them but all of them. If he just asked them, then he is concerned and id be ok with him making that decision, UNLESS unanimously they all said please play we need you. If only some did, that wouldnt be good enough for me to think ill of him.

  9. finfanrob says:

    D says:
    December 19, 2016 at 7:06 pm

    Our playoff scenario right now are these
    2W = in.

    that is it. no other scenario needs to be worried about. what i had been saying for a few weeks, if they need someone to get them in they dont belong there. now they have it in their hands, just fucking win

    • stangerx says:

      Obviously 11-5 and would be awesome. Perfectly willing to get a playoff game if we end up at 10-6 either though. Not like that doesn’t mean WC in most years. Nine wins will probably get you into the show in the NFC this one.

    • D says:

      id take a chance at the playoffs however we got it, but i do understand what you are saying.

  10. 81Howie says:

    Evening Update
    Howie 27-23 MIA
    Wyo 24-17 MIA

  11. finfanrob says:

    all i got out of mikes last post is you can screw your coworkers. please tell me you guys are hiring

  12. herdfan says:

    Here’s my two cents on the topic of the day. I’d say a lot of these guys come from backgrounds where their ability to play this game is pretty much all they have going for them, the only thing they have that’s going to make them millions. They have made it through college still intact and able to play. They have seen others just like them get injured in college and the dream for them is over. So these guys are at the brink of success, they have this one ‘meaningless’ game to play before they can cash in on all the years of hard work. I can’t blame them from not wanting to play and risk an injury that could end it for them. Would it be better if they played in the game and not put forth a full effort to make sure they don’t get injured. That’s the alternative you’re likely talking about.

  13. finfanrob says:


    my point was they control getting into the playoffs. they cant get there on there own they dont belong there

    • stangerx says:

      Well going into last week they couldn’t have gotten there on their own even if they won out without other things happening. If they went 11-5 and did not make would they have not deserved to be there but now that the Broncos lost on Sunday deserve to be there with the same record? Seems how other teams do is always part of the picture.

  14. finfanrob says:

    the bottom line to arguing about paying college athletes is like arguing about politics, you guys are never going to agree on it

  15. finfanrob says:


    i wont take him off my board, he would never be on it. the only offensive player i would have is d cook.

  16. finfanrob says:

    stangerx says:
    December 19, 2016 at 7:51 pm

    Well going into last week they couldn’t have gotten there on their own even if they won out without other things happening.

    good damn thing the season didnt end last week then isnt it the season is 16 games long, if the fins win the last two they are in and not cause what some team did last week, it is based on a 16 game season

    • stangerx says:

      And good thing other teams lose every so often. I’ll be rooting for the Broncos to lose next week even if the Phins can still win out.

  17. The Flying Pig says:

    I hate the winter

    Why do I always lose 1 glove

    Not both
    Just 1

    I have to buy new gloves every couple of days bc I keep losing 1 glove

  18. Mike E. says:

    LOL @ Rob

  19. Mike E. says:


    Not necessarily that the players are dogging it, but the ME first attitude. I know in my heart of hearts that every coworker that pulls that shit and doesn’t pull their weight fully understands that they are screwing their coworkers, but justifies it with the management doesn’t appreciate me rhetoric. Again though, if he did ask his teammates, and they were all sincerely on board with that, then it would change how I feel.

  20. herdfan says:

    The Flying Pig says:
    December 19, 2016 at 7:59 pm (Edit)

    I hate the winter

    Why do I always lose 1 glove

    Not both
    Just 1

    I have to buy new gloves every couple of days bc I keep losing 1 glove

    Is this it?

  21. son of a son of a shula says:

    Cam and Cousins who the hell do I root for?

  22. son of a son of a shula says:

    Wow Cam just threw that one to Ginn 40 yards on a straight line

  23. Mike E. says:

    Cousins!!!! I need 27 points to win a playoff game in one of my leagues.

  24. son of a son of a shula says:

    Damn Stewart what a run

  25. son of a son of a shula says:

    Next time shove the ball in the fucking refs face. He was standing there watching a sliding QB take a head shot

  26. finfanrob says:

    son of a son of a shula says:
    December 19, 2016 at 9:29 pm

    Next time shove the ball in the fucking refs face. He was standing there watching a sliding QB take a head shot

    he isnt tom brady.

    (and i agree normally that is called even though a guy in mid air cant change his dive. it was finally called right. but you are correct that is normally given to the qb)

  27. BoulderPhinfan says:

    there is a good chance denver loses to the chiefs on sunday. I heard there were fights in the locker room in denver. That team is in shambles right now.

  28. Mike E. says:


    I’m going to need a huge 3rd and 4th QTR from Cousins. Likely not happening, but I’m cool. In the real money league, I’m in the championship net week, so I can deal with not going further in the other league.

  29. 81Howie says:

    Morning Update
    Howie 27-23 MIA
    Wyo 24-17 MIA
    Stang 17-10 MIA

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