Gather around Dolfans, this Piggy has a fairy tale for you. This one is about a wise old expert who called himself King
A man dressed as a King stands up in downtown Miami
“Dolfans everywhere gather around. I am King Go ScrewYourself. As King I also declare myself an NFL Expert capable of reminding the Miami Dolphins how much I hate them. “
A crowd of Dolphins fans gather around the King.
One screams “Arghhhh! We missed the playoffs!”
A second angry fans screams “No more losing!”
A third raises a torch “Stop the losing”
The King tries to calm them down. “I know my subjects, and as many of you know Tua Tagovailoa did not pass for 5,000 yards.”
The fans all raise their fists angrily. One yells “ how dare he!” A second screams “One year is enough!”
The King continues to speak “This is not the time to sit and wait to see what develops. This is the time for action! We must move on from the Tua era of the last”. The King checks his notes “The Tua era of the last few months”
The crowds roars in agreement.
The King continues “A Quarterback is available. His name is Deshaun Watson. And we can have him for cheap.”
The first fan speaks up “Give up a first round pick”
The King replies “We shall! We shall give up two!”
The second fan yells “two is not so bad…”
The King replies “…..this year” the King continues “and our first round picks in 2022….and 2023”
The first fan declares “Watson is worth it. He passed for 4800 yards last year!”
The King interrupts “Which is why we must add more! We will add all the second rounders too”
The second fan declares “We don’t need second rounders…go for it…”
The King adds “ For the next 20 years…and the third rounders too!”
The first fan pauses a moment and then says “Well….its been a while since Dan Marino retired”
The King interrupts “ yes…so very long have you suffered. Let’s add some players….”
The first fan insists “how about that guy who hurt Preston Williams”
The King excitedly replies “Wilkins is outta here!”
“And what about that other guy Howard” The Second fans yells “ he was arrested!”
The King adds “he shot a puppy….and ate it….I read that”
”Get rid of him!” The fans scream. “That should be enough to get Watson”
The King says “It’s a start!” There is more though….
The first fan says “As long as it fills the stadium”.
The King replies “about that stadium….um…we have to let the Texans use it from time to time….”
The second fan asks “okay, no problem, how often?”
The King replies “just Sundays”
The first fan speaks up “Done!”
The second fans turns to him “This is going to be great, I’m going to bring my kids to see Watson throw for touchdown after touchdown”
The King interrupts “oh….about those kids…”
The fans turn to the King “what about them?”
The King explains “so take a look at this map…if your kids are born in zones A1 through A3…then those kids will have to go to Texas”
The first fan yells “What?”
The King explains “How else will maintain the lawns of Houston….that’s part of the deal….but only Zone A. Zones B and C are responsible for washing the cars in Houston, Zone D cleans their homes”.
The second fan explains “Well, it is Watson….and we still have our wives”
The King replies “Yes you still have your wives and girlfriends….on every other Tuesday anyway. Pretty good deal right?”
This first fan says “well we do get Watson”
The King explains “and the details of the trade will be delivered through the rectum”
The fans begins to walk away depressed.
The King tries to stop them “Where are you going, I didn’t get to the part about your mothers”
The King completes the deal. By 2023 Watson opts out of his contract