A Proposed Watson Trade To Spoil Your Life

King Go ScrewYourself

Gather around Dolfans, this Piggy has a fairy tale for you. This one is about a wise old expert who called himself King

A man dressed as a King stands up in downtown Miami

“Dolfans everywhere gather around. I am King Go ScrewYourself. As King I also declare myself an NFL Expert capable of reminding the Miami Dolphins how much I hate them. “

A crowd of Dolphins fans gather around the King.

One screams “Arghhhh! We missed the playoffs!”

A second angry fans screams “No more losing!”

A third raises a torch “Stop the losing”

The King tries to calm them down. “I know my subjects, and as many of you know Tua Tagovailoa did not pass for 5,000 yards.”

The fans all raise their fists angrily. One yells “ how dare he!” A second screams “One year is enough!”

The King continues to speak “This is not the time to sit and wait to see what develops. This is the time for action! We must move on from the Tua era of the last”. The King checks his notes “The Tua era of the last few months”

The crowds roars in agreement.

The King continues “A Quarterback is available. His name is Deshaun Watson. And we can have him for cheap.”

The first fan speaks up “Give up a first round pick”

The King replies “We shall! We shall give up two!”

The second fan yells “two is not so bad…”

The King replies “…..this year” the King continues “and our first round picks in 2022….and 2023”

The first fan declares “Watson is worth it. He passed for 4800 yards last year!”

The King interrupts “Which is why we must add more! We will add all the second rounders too”

The second fan declares “We don’t need second rounders…go for it…”

The King adds “ For the next 20 years…and the third rounders too!”

The first fan pauses a moment and then says “Well….its been a while since Dan Marino retired”

The King interrupts “ yes…so very long have you suffered. Let’s add some players….”

The first fan insists “how about that guy who hurt Preston Williams”

The King excitedly replies “Wilkins is outta here!”

“And what about that other guy Howard” The Second fans yells “ he was arrested!”

The King adds “he shot a puppy….and ate it….I read that”

”Get rid of him!” The fans scream. “That should be enough to get Watson”

The King says “It’s a start!” There is more though….

The first fan says “As long as it fills the stadium”.

The King replies “about that stadium….um…we have to let the Texans use it from time to time….”

The second fan asks “okay, no problem, how often?”

The King replies “just Sundays”

The first fan speaks up “Done!”

The second fans turns to him “This is going to be great, I’m going to bring my kids to see Watson throw for touchdown after touchdown”

The King interrupts “oh….about those kids…”

The fans turn to the King “what about them?”

The King explains “so take a look at this map…if your kids are born in zones A1 through A3…then those kids will have to go to Texas”

The first fan yells “What?”

The King explains “How else will maintain the lawns of Houston….that’s part of the deal….but only Zone A. Zones B and C are responsible for washing the cars in Houston, Zone D cleans their homes”.

The second fan explains “Well, it is Watson….and we still have our wives”

The King replies “Yes you still have your wives and girlfriends….on every other Tuesday anyway. Pretty good deal right?”

This first fan says “well we do get Watson”

The King explains “and the details of the trade will be delivered through the rectum”

The fans begins to walk away depressed.

The King tries to stop them “Where are you going, I didn’t get to the part about your mothers”

The King completes the deal. By 2023 Watson opts out of his contract

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454 Responses to A Proposed Watson Trade To Spoil Your Life

  1. wyoming85 says:

    Well all I’ve got is a big fuck ya’ll from a certified pipefitter and a blue collier worker!
    I find your arguments about shutting down MY industry to be from your own perspective!

    Pipefitters and welders don’t build fucking bridges!

    Stick too what you know!!!!!

  2. Tim Knight says:

    At the end of the day, if we trade for Watson and move on from Tua already, it is what it is. I’m still going to be a Miami Dolphins fan. LOL

  3. steveccnv says:

    Mike E. says:
    February 27, 2021 at 6:38 pm
    Everyone is trying to seem so altruistic these days, I’m purer and lest racist than you are! These companies that do that shit are just self promoting their righteousness of nothing. Stop trying to “seem” better, just be normal like that dude says.

    Yeah, they do all of that, but why? They do it or risk being canceled or boycotted. I’m sure most companies would rather things hadn’t taken this turn to the far left.

  4. steveccnv says:

    The Flying Pig says:
    February 27, 2021 at 6:47 pm
    He didn’t do the breathalyzer but alcohol only leaves the system at .015 an hour

    He had to go from .08 to .02
    That’s 4 hours

    I don’t buy that explanation at all


    Every DMV I’ve seen says you burn off .02 per hour, so 3 hours, and who knows how many hours it really was. Again, they just report whatever FN numbers they want.

  5. steveccnv says:

    stangerx says:
    February 27, 2021 at 8:37 pm
    Couldn’t care less about his politics. Figure his right to say what he wants. Same goes for Don Jr….. but reserve the right to hit on him for telling lies and respect your right to hit on the Boss for his comments, which don’t like either.

    So you just assume Don Jr is lying, because that’s what you want to believe. You can’t be sure what anyone tells you these days

    • stangerx says:

      He was question what the court ruled and what the scientific evidence was. He stated the opposite as a fact. Yeah in my book that is a lie without more. Seems he and you are on the “want to believe” side. Do you believe court rulings?

  6. Tim Knight says:

    It’s not Friday night but fuck it. LOL

  7. olddolphan says:

    IT’s OVER IN AMALIE ARENA. The long awaited rematch between last season’s Stanley Cup Finalists finally took place after FOUR cancellations caused by the Covid and a devastating winter storm in Texas.

    It wasn’t even close. If this had been a fight, they would have stopped it. The Tampa Bay Lightning absolutely crushed the Dallas Stars 5-0 tonight in Tampa Bay. The highlight was Anthony Cirelli’s short handed goal where he beat Anton Khudobin like the proverbial “rented mule!” The Stars goalie came into this contest having saved 99 of his last 101 shots on goal. Tonight, after giving up 5 goals on 15 shots on goal, he was unceremoniously removed from the ice in favor of his backup.

    Speaking of goalies, the Bolts’ Andrei Vasilevskiy recorded his second consecutive shutout. Previously, the Lightning had won three consecutive contests against a very good Carolina Hurricanes team. But tonight’s game could barely be called competitive. With this win, Tampa Bay is now 14-4-1 at the one-third point in the season. And they’ve done this WITHOUT Nikita Kucherov, their top scorer the last two seasons. He’s due back in time for the playoffs, coming off hip surgery. There’s even some talk he might catch the last 6-7 games of the regular season.

    Yes, it’s WAY TOO EARLY in the season to draw too many conclusions about which teams will make it to the 2021 Stanley Cup Finals. But, in my mind, the Tampa Bay Lightning, right now, must be considered the best team in the league.

  8. The Flying Pig says:

    Wyoming who argued that your industry should be shut down?

  9. New Age says:

    Mike E,

    I agree about Watson. He had his best year ever as his team got the #3 pick in the draft. If we gave everything to the Texans, he’d have another team where the talent was bad and he’d probably go 6-10. He’s already shown he doesn’t value contracts and wants to determine who’s GM, HC, and who he players with. Why in the hell would we want that? When he eventually couldn’t handle Flores or Grier calling the shots instead of him, how soon before the threats started? Not long based off this off-season.

    • olddolphan says:

      NEW AGE: I BELIEVE Flores wants a better TEAM, not (maybe) a better quarterback. Sticking with “THE PLAN” will give Miami a better team and MORE WINS. I would be STUNNED if Miami gave up a bushel basket of high draft picks just to get a bigger “name” at quarterback.

  10. bookman11 says:

    US soccer ends policy to stand for the anthem. IMO this is what is at the base of everything that is wrong right now in this country. You are playing for your country!!!!!! If you can’t stand for the anthem then DONT PLAY!!! We won’t miss you! What a bunch of shit that is!

  11. The Flying Pig says:


    I don’t know who Jason McIntyre is

    But that is unquestionably tampering if true

  12. olddolphan says:

    OFF SUBJECT but pretty damned entertaining none the less. I just read James Patterson’s THE RUSSIAN over the last 2 days. It’s one of the most action packed novels he’s ever written. Now, if you’re looking for something truly deep, like Aristotle or Socretes, then this novel’s not for you. But, for leisure reading, this novel is one of my all-time favorites.

    As you guyz and galz age, it becomes even MORE IMPORTANT to keep your mind and your body active!! I’m NEVER without a book, magazine, or newspaper to read. I walk my 2 dogs on a course I’ve plotted out that amounts to 13 miles per week. I eat lots of fresh fruit every day. And I maintain a very strong interest in numismatics and sports. I believe, as do my doctors, that this life style will permit me to work well into my 80’s at a pretty high level. Yes, I DO DRINK one or two Colorado Kool-Aids per day. I believe, as Harry Truman believed, that the only thing worse than a drinking man is a MAN WHO DOESN’T DRINK!! That said, I haven’t been legally drunk since the day after the Dolphins completed the one and only PERFECT SEASON!! And, barring another Dolphins’ Perfect Season, I have no plans for another drunken performance.

    Y’all have a great evening! The Old Dolfan is OUT.

  13. Tim Knight says:

    A bad “white” cop abusing his power and killing a career “black” criminal started this new race war. Two people! That’s how ignorant we’ve become as a society. I’m tired of it. Everyone needs to look in the mirror.

  14. CavalierKong says:

    The blog has an angry, pulsing, red vein in its forehead. I hope you are taking your blood pressure medication you irascible old blog you, lol.

  15. pheloniusphish says:

    “ Phelon – I could kiss you for posting that. That was fucking awesome! I rant like that all the time but it’s so much more effective when he does it. I talk to my wife about shit like this so often. Sometimes she even agrees with me. That was beautiful. Thank you!”

    Thanks Mike. I like you and think your handsome…a great catch for any guy who swings that way…but you’re not my type. It’s not you, it’s me…I just like breasts and a lack of whiskers…and, you know, other womanly stuff..I hope we can still be friends!

  16. Mike E. says:

    LOL Phelon – Gotta keep swinging for the fences! Anyway . . . I really enjoyed that video, that summed up beautifully how I feel on many levels, it was great.

  17. steveccnv says:

    It must be Trump’s fault Biden has started going after legal guns, but has no intentions of going after illegal ones or those that possess them.

  18. Mike E. says:

    NEW BLOG UP!!!!

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