MUSTACHIO, PSYCHIC GPS, WEDGE AND THE LITTLE PRAWN ARE ALL INSIDE THE BARN PEEKING OUT THE WINDOW.

 

Psychic GPS: (nervously) Do you think they are coming for us?

 

Wedge:  I don’t know…I’m scared 

 

Mustachio: Affanculo!  Did you hear that?

 

THE SOUND OF BOTTLES CLINKING TOGETHER CAN BE HEARD IN THE DISTANT.  A CAR DRIVES OUTSIDE OF THE BARN

 

Psychic GPS: Who is in that Car?

 

THE CAR STOPS.  KING BELICHEAT IS IN THE PASSENGER SEAT.  HE HAS FOUR GLASS BOTTLES ON THE FINGERTIPS OF ONE OF HIS HANDS

 

King Belicheat:  Piggies…come out to play…

 

 

King Belicheat:  Piggies…come out to play…

 

Wedge:  They are here!   Where is Piggy?

 

Musatchio: The little prosciutto has flown away!

 

King Belicheat:  Piggies…come out to play-ay

 

PIGGY SUDDENLY LANDS ON THE HOOD OF THE CAR

 

The Flying Pig: (slamming a trotter on the car)  Come out mutherfuckers!  I will take you all down!

 

KING BELICHEAT POPS THE HOOD OF THE CAR.  PIGGY LOSES HIS BALANCE AND FALLS OFF THE HOOD OF THE CAR.  HE IS KNOCKED UNCONSCIOUS FROM THE FALL.  KING BELICHEAT, LADY TOM, THE GRONK, DUKE KRAFT AND THE COMMISSIONER STEP OUT OF THE CAR

 

Duke Kraft: (looking at Piggy on the ground)  Well that way easy

 

King Belicheat:  Of course it was.  I prepared the game plan for this.  Stupid pig, we can dispose of him now.  

 

The Gronk:  Gronk like pigs.  Pigs are in bacon.  Gronk knee hurt so Gronk take off shirt now.

 

Wedge:  Not so fast!  If you want to get to Piggy, you have to go through us!

 

King Belicheat:  Challenge accepted.  So its a Battle Royale.  (King Belicheat licks a camera)  To the death then!

 

Psychic GPS:  Electronic Gulp…If that is the way its gong to be, then that is the way it is going to be (he releases the blade on a switchblade)

 

THE TEN OF THEM BEGIN TO FIGHT.  PIGGY IS STILL KNOCKED OUT.

 

Wedge:  I want you Belicheat!  See this photon gun.  I brought it from my home planet.  It will disintegrate you instantly.  

 

King Belicheat:  (laughing sinisterly)  I knew you would say that.  I know everything before it happens.  Because of my secret power.  You can’t do anything I don’t know about before you do it.  I’ve been filming you for weeks.  

 

CAMERAS SPROUT OUT OF KING BELICHEAT’S BODY

 

 

Wedge:  Noooooooooooo!

 

King Belicheat: Fear my all powerful knowledge!

 

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BARN THE GRONK IS GRABBING AND SHAKING PSYCHIC GPS

 

Psychic GPS:  Now hold on a minute big guy…I’m sure we can work something out

 

The Gronk:  Gronk like Electronics.  Electronics Smart.  Electronics taste good!

 

 

Psychic GPS:  Electronic Ouch!  Stop biting me!

 

The Gronk:  Gronk like little Simon Says.  Gronk take off shirt for you!

 

MUSTACHIO IS FIGHTING THE COMMISSIONER AT ANOTHER PART OF THE BARN

 

The Commissioner:  Mustachio!  What have you done to me?

 

Mustachio:  Faccia de merda!  Never mess with the razor!

 

 

IN A CORNER OF THE BARN DUKE KRAFT IS HIDING

 

Duke Kraft:  (whispering to himself)  Well, I guess I got lucky and avoided the fight.  No one will find me here

 

The Little Prawn:  “….”

 

 

King Belicheat:  Hey, where is Lady Tom.  Where is my Lady Tom?

 

The Commissioner:  I haven’t seen him?  What will the league do without Lady Tom?  Where is he?

 

Wedge:  Has anyone seen Colonpokey?

 

Psychic GPS:  I think I saw him go inside the barn…with Lady Tom.

 

King Belicheat:  What?

 

INSIDE THE BARN

 

Colonpokey:  Thanks for letting me braid your hair Lady Tom

 

Lady Tom:  Of course my fuzzy little friend…but be gentle…I’m very delicate…

 

 

 

Colonpokey:  Oh yes.  You are my little flower…Such luxurious hair Lady Tom

 

Lady Tom:  Colonpokey, (blushing)  do you think I’m pretty?

 

OUTSIDE THE BARN, PIGGY COMES TO HIS SENSES AND STANDS UP

 

The Flying Pig:  What happened?  What is going on?  Is this a Battle Royale…without me?

 

SUDDENLY PEGASUS LANDS IN FRONT OF PIGGY 

 

Pegasus:  Don’t you worry bacon bits…There is some one left for you to fight (pointing a hoof to himself)

 

The Flying Pig:  Pegasus!  My arch enemy!  And a Cheatriots fan!  You son of pony!  

 

PIGGY CHARGES PEGASUS

 

 

PEGASUS  QUICKLY THROWS PIGGY TO THE GROUND

 

Pegasus:  Remember the last time we spoke Piggy?  Remember our wager? (pulling out hedge cutters)

 

The Flying Pig:  My Bojangles!

 

 

The Flying Pig:  Squeal! Squeal! Squeal!

 

PIGGY FLIES AWAY

 

Pegasus:  Come back you coward!

 

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?  DOES PIGGY KEEP HIS BOJANGLES?  WHO WINS THE BATTLE ROYALE?  DOES LADY TOM STEAL COLONPOKEY’S HEART AWAY FROM SANCHEZ?  DOES THE GRONK FINALLY WEAR A SHIRT?  WATCH THE GAME ON SUNDAY TO FIND OUT….BECAUSE I MAKE THIS SHIT UP AS I GO….