What Make Hulk Angry: 12/17/14


By Dr. Bruce Banner

So Hulk watch another season of Miami Dolphin football came to a meaningless end in game against New England. Once again Hulk see Pod People come out after 30 minutes of good football. Hulk tired of seeing Pod People. It seem every week Coach Joe only have team ready for 30 minutes of football. Somebody should buy Coach Joe a watch so he realize football is a 60 minute game. Maybe if Coach Joe had watch Hulk no be so angry. But Hulk is angry and here is what makes Hulk angry this week.

Hulk angry at new math. Supposed strength of Miami Dolphins is it’s front 4. Dolphins supposed to be able to generate great pass rush with just 4 players. They supposed to be able to rush Brady with 4 down linemen. So why Coach Joe and Coach Coyle only rush 3? Do they think if they rush 4 it would be too powerful for Tom Brady to withstand? Did they feel the same way about Peyton Manning and Matthew Stafford? Did they forget to count to 4 when putting game plan together? It seem team only rush 3 when they supposed to have great front 4. Something does not add up. Hulk no understand new math. It make Hulk very angry.

You know what else make Hulk angry? Expectations. Every year Hulk have expectation that this year is year Miami Dolphins reclaim greatness of their past. Every year Hulk think this is year that Miami Dolphins finally unseat New England Cheaters. Every year Hulk think this the right team, right coach, right players to recapture glory of years ago. Every year Hulk find expectations get smashed like some puny petty villain but only it hurt more.

Hulk also angry about excuses. Everyone want to offer excuses. Our left tackle was injured, we had bad calls in Ravens game, we had unfair suspensions, our starting running back is injured, Coach Joe only had 1 year with the current General Manager, the Bills are a bad match up, our pro bowl center is playing guard, our rookies need to be developed slowly and so on and so on. Well Hulk no like excuses. Every team gets bad calls, good teams overcome them. Every team gets injuries, look at Arizona Cardinals. No team had more devastating injuries than them and all they do is win 11 games. Hulk say enough with excuses. Hulk like them even less than moral victories. Hulk smash puny excuses.

Hulk also very angry at Steven Ross’s aircraft. It seem every time Mr. Ross fly somebody somewhere he do something dumb. This week Steven Ross have Mike Tannenbaum on his private jet. I remember when Mr. Ross fly Jeff Fisher in on his private helicopter and of course who can forget his sending his private jet to meet Jim Harbaugh to interview for not vacant coaching vacancy. It seem something stupid always happen when Mr. Ross fly somebody somewhere. Imagine if Mr. Ross now hire Mike Tannenbaum, the man who single handedly put the New York Jets in cap hell by signing Mr. Butt fumble to one of the worst contracts in all of pro football. I wish Mr. Ross would take the train instead.

Now you know what really make Hulk angry? Waiting. Waiting for this season to end, waiting for the playoffs to end, waiting for trades to begin, waiting for free agency to start, waiting for the draft to come, waiting for OTAs, waiting for training camp to start and most of all waiting for a new season to start because this one is done. Hulk now have to wait to start it all over again with new expectations which invariably always seemed to get smashed somewhere in December and that make Hulk very angry.

So Hulk need something to make him less angry. Here is Hulk’s BOTW:

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