Is everyone all oinked up for the Superbowl. It’s the Big Game after all, an unofficial American Holiday. Did you know the Superbowl is the second largest day of food consumption in the US after Thanksgiving?
Did you know that if you eat pork on Superbowl Sunday you will not only die a painful death but your body will keep farting post-mortem so much so that your family cannot visit your grave? These undisputable facts have been known to many of us for decades, just like the obvious fact that the Superbowl is a meeting between the two best teams in football. Which makes me want to sing a song to you…but…
I’m just not feeling it. Given that these are the two best teams in football it would seem logical to most of us, who love the sport, to be eager to watch the game right? But that is not the case…some piggies aren’t looking for anything logical like Superbowl Sunday, they can’t be bullied, bought or reasoned with…some piggies just want to watch the world burn!!!!
Especially those Cheating bastards from New England!!!!!!
(Piggy smashes his guitar)
But don’t let me stop you from watching the Superbowl. Sit back and enjoy the Superbowl everyone. You never know what will happen. Maybe a bus will fall from the sky and land on the Patriots sideline. Maybe Katy Perry will have a wardrobe malfunction.
Maybe, if we are lucky, the sounds of boos will ring in the ears of the NFL and it will lead to appropriate action against the Patriots after the game. But for now, just know you are watching the Seahawks vs the disgrace of the NFL and enjoy!