The Porcine Oddyssey #91: “SUH-denly”

THE PORCINE ODDYSSEY #90:  SUH-DENLY

AccousticPiggy

I know there are a lot of opinions on whether the Dolphins should have signed Ndamukong Suh, especially given the price tag.  So I wrote this little ditty to put it in perspective.

PIGGY BEGINS TO PLAY HIS GUITAR

(singing)

I used to think that free agency was just a fairy tale
After that Mike Wallace contract and after Wheeler and Ellerbee
But if I had to do it all again, I wouldn’t change a thing
‘Cause somehow Aponte found cap room to sign and Pay Suh’s fee

InsertBradyHere1

(singing)

SUH-denly, oinks have new meaning to me
There’s piggies up above
And players that can change the way you play D
You wake up and SUH-denly, you’re a dominant defense

InsertBradyHere2

(singing)

Suh, you’re everything a Dolfan could want and more
One thousand tackles are not enough to oink how much I hate Brady
And now you’ve come to this sunny shore
Never felt like this before, now go kill Brady

InsertBradyHere3

(singing)

SUH-denly, oinks have new meaning to me
There’s piggies up above
Tom Brady will need a nurse to help him pee

You wake up and SUH-denly, you’re a dominant defense

NFL: Green Bay Packers at Detroit Lions

(singing)

Each day I squeal
That Tom Brady won’t play another game

InsertBradyHere5

(singing)

SUH-denly, oinks have new meaning to me
There’s piggies up above
potential damage to Brady’s organs makes me say Weeeeeeeeeeeeee

You wake up and SUH-denly, you’re a dominant defense

InsertBrady6

(singing)

SUH-denly, oinks have new meaning to me
There’s piggies up above
Suh, I want you end this cheaters career, pleeeeeeeeeeeeease

You wake up and SUH-denly, you’re a dominant defense

SuhGonnaEatYourLiver

(singing)

There’s piggies up above
And Suh is gonna eat your liver
You wake up and Suh-denly, you’re a dominant defense

SuhOutoftheWater

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689 Responses to The Porcine Oddyssey #91: “SUH-denly”

  1. Tim Knight says:

    The salary cap era and the big contracts is changing the way NFL teams do business.

  2. Tim Knight says:

    This issue NFL teams have with Mariota is there aren’t a lot of NFL throws on tape because of the system they ran. That doesn’t mean he can’t make them because he showed well at the combine.

  3. The Flying Pig says:

    Looks like we signed Jordan

    • steveccnv says:

      Good now sign Clay, and use him where he’s dangerous in the H-Back role. I don’t give a shit any more about not paying too much money to players one yr and being in salary cap hell another.

  4. Tim Knight says:

    Jordan is the type of player that Egnew was suppose to be. I just feel sad that this could mean Clay goes elsewhere. 😦

  5. The Flying Pig says:

    Whoa!!!

  6. The Flying Pig says:

    Don’t say goodbye to Clay yet

  7. The Flying Pig says:

  8. Tim Knight says:

    Yeah! Re-sign Clay too. Do it! Do it! Do it! You need depth at TE because they ask them to do so many different things these days – play TE, WR, FB and H-back.

  9. finfanrob says:

    ‘This issue NFL teams have with Mariota is there aren’t a lot of NFL throws on tape because of the system they ran. That doesn’t mean he can’t make them because he showed well at the combine.’

    lol and that is all that matters. ignore years of game tape all that matters is what a guy can do without a game setting and throw with no pressure.

  10. finfanrob says:

    The Flying Pig says:
    March 12, 2015 at 9:19 pm

    Don’t say goodbye to Clay yet

    that is what demi moore said then she almost had to have sex with whoopie

  11. steveccnv says:

    We had a pretty good offense the yr we had a 2 headed TE, Martin was one of them, don’t remember if Fasano was the other or if it was the yr before Fasano.

  12. steveccnv says:

    Is Clay a little jealous that Cameron signed? He got back awful quick.

  13. jahndoh says:

    “ahn, I was just trying to engage a little bit with your desire to talk about mariota. You pick one thing you didn’t like as if that’s the entirety of what I said.”

    I’m sorry you saw it that way, but if everything you say is totally reasonable but one thing stands out, I’m going to comment on that one thing. It’s like you buried the same tired myth about Mariota into a post that otherwise offered pretty reasonable stuff, that I neither had anything to add too nor argue with.

    Sometimes I wonder exactly what the fuck I’m supposed to say. LOL…it’s like constant eggshells.

    So we can just not talk about it I guess. I had a civil exchange with Rock, so it’s not like I’m incapable of it. LOL…

    • Try Pod says:

      It’s ok, I knew what I was potentially getting into when I started. I just felt as if you were dismissing my opinion. This is exactly why I rarely attempt to get in heavy discussion about anything- you can never tell the intent behind the typed word, particularly when you don’t really know the individuals. Too easy to misinterpret intent.

  14. steveccnv says:

    Are we an attractive team to play for again?

  15. finfanrob says:

    steve

    to not piss off god, i admit never seen him play but one game against fsu. but i think it is proven the combine is way way overrated how it sends draftee’s up the charts. but what the hell do i know, i still think mike e is a nice guy.

    • steveccnv says:

      Then you should read the article of the 14 celebs who are openly bi-sexual, it may give you some ideas 😛

    • jahndoh says:

      Well the comment you responded to was founded on total bullshit, so it’s not about his combine performance, it’s about his actual tape.. I’ve watched him make NFL throws all season long, but since Philly isn’t an NFL team I guess….lol.

      Oregon is more of a traditional NFL than what Philly is running these days, This is classic East Coast bias. One of the top QBs in the draft class, and nobody’s seen anything but the National Championship game and a couple clips compilations on youtube. They think he’s Dennis Dixon all over again even though he’s not and Oregon has a different coach and a scheme that requires a QB who can read defenses and make bigtime throws. I could cite some more nerdy type analysts that say Mariota’s pocket passing actually grades out better than Winstons, but than it’s just he said she said and who you lend credibility too.

      I don’t know. Like I’ve said multiple times, I could be wrong about this, but the certitude with which all these ALWAYS SPOT ON talking heads say shit that doesn’t reflect reality whatsoever bugs me. When I see other people just blindly repeating it, it still bugs me. LOL..

  16. Tim Knight says:

    FFR, what I’m saying is at the combine scouts want to see if you can throw the deep out and other routes required in the NFL. I heard Mariota did well though I didn’t see it because I didn’t follow the combine that closely this year. I’ve seen them so many times and all I need now is the numbers to gauge what prospects may or may not be, not to actually watch it myself because every year I realize I’m not picking any prospects. LOL

  17. finfanrob says:

    Are we an attractive team to play for again?

    the fins were then they picked those gay ass easter egg colors. who wants to worry about some kid thinking you are bringing them a basket of candy.

  18. steveccnv says:

    I’ll be one of the top running backs from here on out. They ruled Marshawn Lynch off in his third year. Look at what he’s doing now. My next stop, I’ll be the starter. I still have my pride and I know who I am.
    Trent Richardson

    – Trent Richardson, after being cut by the Colts.

    Ok, lets get him too, pffft!

  19. The Flying Pig says:

    No oink on Clay yet

  20. finfanrob says:

    jahndoh says:
    March 12, 2015 at 9:37 pm

    or remember his game vs. Winston where Winston made Garo Yepremian look like a QB savant. LOL..

    lol petty sure when winston did that he was on the side line. but ok, the qb does get credit for everything that happens

    • Tim Knight says:

      Believe it or not, we have an attractive QB situation. 😉

    • jahndoh says:

      Pretty sure he lit them up for 50 something points, but hey, the west coast guy you watched once couldn’t possibly be good.

      See…two can play that sarcasm game, don’t get butthurt, just dished it back at you.

  21. Tim Knight says:

    I hope Clay saw the QB situation wasn’t that great out there and he knows Tannehill is on the rise.

  22. finfanrob says:

    Then you should read the article of the 14 celebs who are openly bi-sexual, it may give you some ideas 😛

    who the hell do you think wrote the article and did the interviews.

    • steveccnv says:

      Are you coming out of the closet? You know what they say, a woman that is bi, is bi, but a man who is bi is gay.

  23. CavalierKong says:

    Rockphin says:
    March 12, 2015 at 8:19 pm

    I am 1/2 way through “A Memory of Light” book 14 of TWOT. I read “Towers of Midnight” in 4 days last week.
    ——————–
    Awesome! Enjoy it, Rock. To me it was a satisfying ending. I wonder how amazing it could have been if Jordan had finished it himself but Sanderson did a good job of giving us Jordan’s vision and ending to the story.

    • Try Pod says:

      I’m a dissenter- the ending left me less than satisfied, though my father in law and our own Minnesota Randy seemed to like it, too.

  24. finfanrob says:

    See…two can play that sarcasm game, don’t get butthurt, just dished it back at you.

    lol, dont knock it till you try it. butthurt can be fun.

  25. jahndoh says:

    I didn’t know that was Tim’s quote. I thought it was a talking head. Now I’m just getting into trouble. My assesment of that quote Tim was as if it had come from one of those Mel Kiper types. I disagree he didn’t make a lot of NFL throws in that system. NFL teams are running moving pockets and roll outs all over the place these days, and Mariota ran an offense that looked a lot like a blend between Philly’s of the last two years and SF’s during their Championship run.

    • Tim Knight says:

      I was listening to sports radio a month ago and they (Mike Francesa and Gary Daniels) were discussing Mariota as a system QB who throws 75% pick/screens that won’t work in the NFL. But Mariota showed more skill at the combine from what I heard.

      Ultimately I don’t care because we have our QB. 🙂

  26. finfanrob says:

    jahn

    and you mean against that fsu team that everyone and their mother said was grossly overrated?

    and just having some fun too. but my comment wasnt about him as a player, i didnt see him play much. my comment was about the overrating of the combine.

    the best thing the guy has going for him is the bucs seem to be leaning towards winston. so now as far as i am concerned i hope winston is a huge bust.

    • jahndoh says:

      Most folks thought the winner of that game was going to be the National Champion. I never heard a single mother say they were over rated until the game was over and OR had blown them out.

  27. jahndoh says:

    Trypod,

    All good my man. I did just pick on that one statement, but it was genuinely because it’s the only one that stood out to me. My reputation of arguing doesn’t help me in cases like that. 🙂

  28. The Flying Pig says:

    They could be keeping the transition tag on to force the bills to make a higher offer

  29. finfanrob says:

    steve

    it is only gay if you are the one on your knees. other wise you are just a man that likes bjs. lol

  30. CavalierKong says:

    I have to say this has been an awesome FA period so far. The idea of snagging Cameron & keeping Clay is fascinating. It makes me think maybe we go into the season with Wallace, Landry and Matthews at WR and we can go with Clay and Cameron splitting out in 4-5 WR sets. Maybe use our 1st rd pick on a O lineman or LB and draft a WR in the later rds.

    The way last season ended I was pretty fucking over football and thought it would take me a few months to get back into the groove but I’m already back chasing that dragon, lol.

  31. finfanrob says:

    jahn,

    just talking about comments on here. i really dont go else where for my football chat or knowledge.

    and again, wasnt a shot at the kid, i dont know enough about him to judge him. just a comment about the power of the combine on draftee’s

  32. jahndoh says:

    Gonna get out of here before I talk my way into trouble. Please disregard any Mariota talk from me today. I said a lot and none of it came off right. 🙂

  33. Mike E. says:

    So we signed Cameron? OK, so he’s TE for about 3 games this year, who plays the rest?

  34. finfanrob says:

    ha, jahn leaving cause he cant handle a good argument.

  35. finfanrob says:

    Mike E. says:
    March 12, 2015 at 9:58 pm

    So we signed Cameron? OK, so he’s TE for about 3 games this year, who plays the rest?

    lynch

  36. CavalierKong says:

    Try,
    When I first read it I hated it but after rereading it a couple of times I came to appreciate it a lot. After investing 20 years in the series the idea of not having an ending was unthinkable. Considering how hard the task was for Sanderson I’m satisfied although as I said I do wonder just how great it COULD have been.

    Honestly, in the 3 books Sanderson wrote the only two things I can’t forgive is he flat out destroyed Cadsuane’s character and he had absolutely no idea how to write Matt’s character. Matt was better in book 3 but he was so off in the first 2 it was hard to read his parts. Cadsuane became a one note cookie cutter cliche instead of the dynamic bitch she was when Jordan wrote her, lol.

    • Try Pod says:

      I appreciate that, Kong. I did not spend 20 yrs on the series. My father in law just handed them to me about 4 years ago, so I got through them in like 2 years. Your appreciation of the ending is understandable. And I think Sanderson did a really good job, particularly with such an iconic series. However, I don’t like what he did to Egwene. I also think Matt and Tuon’s story was so much richer and had so much left to it that just got left out. I realize he had to do it, and it’s easy to be critical when you’re not responsible.. It left me- empty.

      • CavalierKong says:

        Cheers, Bro. I understand and respect your opinion as well. I think one thing we can all agree on is that it would have been fucking EPIC if Jordan had been able to finish it himself.

  37. steveccnv says:

    I have to leave shortly, the much anticipated game between the Knicks and Lakers is about to start 😉

  38. The Flying Pig says:

  39. Tim Knight says:

    Let’s say it goes down like this:
    Clay: FB, H-back and split wide.
    Cameron: TE and split wide.
    Sims: In-line and sometimes moves around.
    Lynch: (Sims backup)

    Do it, do it, do it!

  40. finfanrob says:

    ok i am out all. night everyone.

  41. BoulderPhinfan says:

    piggy I’m sure that’s why we kept the transition tag. Its to bleed the bills.

  42. BoulderPhinfan says:

    if we keep clay and jordan does that mean wallace is gone?

  43. Mike E. says:

    Tim

    I’m really worried that Cameron won’t be able to stay on the field. I wonder what the contract is for next year, how much is guaranteed. Not a bad gamble if they checked him medically for this year, but if he’s out of football with another concussion, I hope we’re protected.

    • manitobafinfan says:

      Mike E i agree on the concussion issues.. Would still like to see Clay signed.. Very happy to have Suh the player here as well, over all D will be improved just by the attention he will warrant..

  44. Mike E. says:

    Goodnight FFR

  45. Mike E. says:

    Boulder

    If we’re doing it, we can afford it. We still haven’t cut Ellerbe yet,that will free up cap space. We can’t cheat, so whatever they’re doping it within the cap, right?

    • BoulderPhinfan says:

      yea I just hope we’re not mortgaging the future so we can save some jobs next year

      • Mike E. says:

        Doesn’t seem like that’s the case. If they really liked Joe so much, they wouldn’t have to just go for it this year, they could sign him to a 5 YR extension right now. Tannenbaum isn’t in a hurry to win, he was just hired. I think they’re just trying to win to win, not necessarily to save anyone’s job. That’s what I think anyway.

      • Try Pod says:

        I understand that concern, and have even voiced similar. I just haven’t seen proof this is the motivation, only speculation, so it’s hard for me to give it much credence.

  46. Mike E. says:

    Hey Manitoba! I followed Cameron closely the last couple of years, I had him in FF. He’s a very talented TE, if healthy, probably better than Clay, but unfortunately for him, he hasn’t been able to stay on the field, especially last year.

  47. manitobafinfan says:

    Hoping last year was an abberation.. His size in the Red zone would be Awesome to have at our disposal..

  48. jetsssuck says:

    Imagine Clay Cameron and Sims in a 3 TE package.Now that would challenge any DC.

    • Mike E. says:

      Add Kevin White or Devante Parker, or even Breshad Perriman to that equation, and that’s a lot of red zone threats right there!

    • manitobafinfan says:

      Would also mean we could take time with a new WR coming in , the pressure to start him right away would not be there..

  49. manitobafinfan says:

    Praying for Health next year… Yes we still still need to UPGRADE some positions, but over all no GLARING HOLES .. If Suh can command the attention he should it will open up space and opportunity for everyone else on D.. i see our Sack totals going up, even if he does not get a single one. The pressure will lead to INT’s.. , shorter fields (no i dont mean the Punters contract)

  50. Mike E. says:

    If Cameron was in this years draft, he’d be the first TE off the board. Check this out

    http://www.nfl.com/combine/profiles/jordan-cameron?id=2495267

  51. Mike E. says:

    Boulder

    You’re most likely right about that (DEF or O-line).

  52. Mike E. says:

    I can’t confirm this, there have been no official reports on this matter, but I hear Stanger is supplementing the difference between Fields old contract and his new contract. I can’t confirm that though. Maybe Stanger will be willing to talk about it when he gets back on here. lol

  53. Mike E. says:

    Miami Dolphins ‏@MiamiDolphins 1h1 hour ago

    Cameron on Tannehill: He’s young, he’s willing to work & puts the hours in..definitely was a big part of my decision.

  54. manitobafinfan says:

    Mike : Clay strikes me as faster than Cameron, maybe just appearances ? what were his times like ?

  55. The Flying Pig says:

    If Son is out there
    check your email

  56. son of a son of a shula says:

    Philbin is going back to who he is. Remember when he left Green Bay they were keeping 4, 5 even 6 TE’s on the team. Cameron, Clay, Sims and Lynch could all suit up and do different things in the offense. I like it. Come on Clay and Dolphins stay together.

    Philip Dorsett put in that mix – oh man.

  57. Tim Knight says:

    Again, do any of us have a really good grasp on the cap? Suh’s salary is like 825K this year. LOL

    The people paid to do it in both Aponte and Tannenbaum who worked together before and are capologists are the ones who Ross trusts with his money. They are administrative but have a big voice in operations.

    Mr. T re-signing Sanchez when he didn’t have to was his main blunder with the Jets. He was also the GM who helped the Jets get to 2 AFC championships in a row in 2010/11, that seems to get left out. LOL

    Gigi, I think you might be right, Mr. T has a lot of control over the team. What I got from the Suh presser is Ross is the czar, Tannebaum is his captain, Hickey is the personnel Sergeant and Philbin coaches the team.

    I don’t have a problem with it because when you look at it, you see everyone is where they should be. Tannenbaum is not a personnel guy. He’s better at crunching numbers and coordinating. But he has experience in the personnel business. So we’ll see.

    The bottom line is wins and losses. That’s what Ross is paying everyone for. Go Phins!!!

  58. Try Pod says:

    Cameron on Tannehill: “He’s young, he’s willing to work & puts the hours in.. who are we talking about, again?”

  59. son of a son of a shula says:

    Awesome Piggs

  60. son of a son of a shula says:

    Hey Toba good to see you. You lovin some Suh?

  61. Mike E. says:

    Goodnight all! Suhweet dreams!

  62. manitobafinfan says:

    Test ?

  63. manitobafinfan says:

    Weird… couldnt post , had to log out/in.. works now..

  64. manitobafinfan says:

    Ian Rapoport ✔ @RapSheet

    The #Jets are finalizing a 4-year contract for former #Chargers safety Marcus Gilchrist, source said. He will sign tomorrow.

    Wow they are signing a shit ton of DBs..

  65. The Flying Pig says:

    Get home safe everyone

  66. Tim Knight says:

    Jordan is a downfield/red zone target that Egnew was suppose to be. Come on, re-sign Clay and make it perfect. LOL

  67. steveccnv says:

    Where’s Rob?

    13. Bill Cowher

    “We’re not attempting to circumcise rules.” Now look, maybe he was saying that the Steelers weren’t trying to cut off the small flap on the back cover of the rule book.

  68. Tim Knight says:

    Bowles said they would rebuild the defense and they have. We better upgrade the OL and overall blocking. The Jets and Bills are good on defense and the Pats aren’t bad. We have a top front 4 too so blocking it is a premium. We have to get better in matchups.

    You have the DL and the QB and some skill. How’s the protection?

    The top rounds in no particular order should be the big WR if he’s there, OL, LB or DB.

    • manitobafinfan says:

      at this point , if the Big WR isn’t there i’d like to see trade down a bit and fortify those 4 positions.. Outside of the Big WR , do you see anyone Jump out at 14 ??

      • Tim Knight says:

        No, DT is out. We added Suh and the team likes Mitchell, Francis and Johnson.

        Then we have Wake, Vernon, Jordan, Shelby, Fede and McCain who I think is the one moved to SOLB. Jordan is bigger than McCain, he’s more DE.

        I do like the WR and OL pool if we stay at #14. QB the top DT and pass rushers will set the stage early. I think we’ll have 4-5 prospects at #14.

  69. steveccnv says:

    Cameron deal 2 yrs for $15 mil.

  70. steveccnv says:

    Omar Kelly ✔ @OmarKelly
    Follow
    Folks, the odds of Charles Clay playing with Jordan Cameron are ZERO. Who pays their TE’s $14M?

    It’s official we just signed Clay 😉

  71. manitobafinfan says:

    Okay i suck at this… Your score is: 4338 (GRADE: B+)

    Your Picks:
    Round 1 Pick 14: Amari Cooper, WR, Alabama (A)
    Round 2 Pick 15: Denzel Perryman, ILB/OLB, Miami (Fla.) (B-)
    Round 3 Pick 14: Cedric Ogbuehi, OT, Texas A&M (B)
    Round 4 Pick 15: Ifo Ekpre-Olomu, CB, Oregon (A-)
    Round 5 Pick 14: Charles Gaines, CB, Louisville (B-)
    Round 6 Pick 15: Andrew Donnal, OT, Iowa (C-)
    Round 7 Pick 15: Jeff Luc, ILB, Cincinnati (F)

  72. manitobafinfan says:

    So.. New FP draft, go to our pick and here is what is available at WR
    Amari Cooper Jr Alabama WR 1
    Breshad Perriman rJr UCF WR 2
    DeVante Parker Sr Louisville WR 1
    Devin Funchess Jr Michigan WR/TE 2
    Devin Smith Sr Ohio State WR 2
    Dorial Green-Beckham rJr Oklahoma WR 1
    Jaelen Strong rJr Arizona State WR 1
    Nelson Agholor Jr Southern California WR 2
    Rashad Greene Sr Florida State WR 2
    Sammie Coates rJr Auburn WR 2

    I think a few worthy of a 14 pick , Cooper, Strong (i hear name here a lot) , Parker, DGB (is this too high for him ?)

  73. son of a son of a shula says:

    Toba I would LOVE that draft. The stupid 7th rounder messed up your grade but the first four might come in and start.

    • steveccnv says:

      The grading system seems to be screwed up, if it was done like in school his grade would be lower than a B.

    • manitobafinfan says:

      Most of them are “Name Recognition” picks.. i dont watch much College Ball , and get most of my Info from the Educated people here.. And I LOVE the Vids i have een on Perryman.. i like the big hits…

  74. manitobafinfan says:

    Im Off to sleep (i Hope) have a great 1st Week of 2015 Season.. Will No Doubt be a Fun Ride ..

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