Dear Earth,
The 2015 NFL Draft is Thursday. I’m so nervous… Its not just about the draft. Its also because the deadline for my report to the Alpha Alien is due. I’ve thought about it for months. What will I report to the Alpha Alien? What did I learn is the best way to destroy the Earth?
Well, you will be relieved to hear: I’ve decided to spare Earth…at least until after the 2015 NFL Draft. I’m going to file a report with the Alpha Alien. But I’m going to tell him that I created a new way to destroy the Earth which involves the slow decay of their culture until Earthling Brains turn to mush.
But I won’t do a thing. I don’t have to. Keeping up with the Kardashians has been on TV for years now. The Alpha Alien will give me credit for that and I get to watch football a little longer.
To celebrate, let’s take a look back at all the prospects we scouted this season!
The Wide Receivers
The Linebackers
And More Linebackers
The Defensive Backs
The Big Men
And the Tight Ends and Backs
Enjoy The NFL Draft, Its only 2 Days Away!!!
D:
I don’t see this as affecting our draft strategy in any significant way. By all accounts we were looking to trade him away.
MIKE E.; Congrats on your Mets victory last night against the Fish.–It had a “playoff” quality to it, something Dolphin fans can only vaguely remember (a Fins playoff win, that is).
————-
RE:PHILBIN. –Joe Philbin is the ONLY head coach in Miami history to have 4 consecutive non-winning seasons only to be brought back for a 5th season (plus an extension for year 6). NOT COINCIDENTALLY, STEVE ROSS is the ONLY owner in Fins history NOT to win a playoff game!! – – Stevie boy, do you get the connection??? – – STICKING WITH PROVEN LOSERS IS NOT A FORMULA FOR SUCCESS!!!
Hasn’t Philbin only been here for 3 years?
Yes Ken, but it just seems like 6….lol
That’s correct
Here is to hoping OD is wrong about a phin’s coach and 4 consecutive losing seasons. Philbin has one more chance to avoid that.
Non-winning and losing aren’t the same thing, did you see how he did that 😛
Ooo, a gum wrapper.
Well Dion Jordan may be our biggest draft bust ever. I am trying to wrap my head around who was our worst draft bust. Some candidates off the top of my head:
Yatil Green
Billy Milner
Eric Kumerow
Jamar Fletcher
I am starting to feel queasy. I must stop making this list.
How could I forget John Avery. Ken reaches for the Pepto Bismol.
LSU’s La’el Collins, projected to be a first-round pick in Thursday’s NFL Draft, is wanted by Baton Rouge police for questioning following the shooting death of a pregnant woman last week, Baton Rouge Police Cpl. Don Coppola Jr. said Tuesday.
Brittany Mills, 29, who was shot and killed April 24, is believed by police to have been romantically connected to Collins.
Coppola said the department is currently not pursuing Collins as a suspect.
http://www.nola.com/lsu/index.ssf/2015/04/lsus_lael_collins_wanted_by_po.html
There is one more prospect who I add to the do not draft list. Which is too bad because I really thought he would be a great pick. Damn those pesky murder investigations.
Ken,
Yatil Green couldn’t help it that his knees blew out like the tits on a prepubescent Dolly Parton.
I know he suffered an injury but he has to be on the list because he never saw a down for the team. Shit luck or not that is a bust imo. I wouldn’t put John Bosa on the list because he actually played for a couple of seasons before injuries got the best of him.
Which part of this picture describes Dion Jordan ??
I don’t see anything diluted
you didn’t check her IQ 🙂
LOL.
WOWZA! A boob?
TWO of them make a bust.
Lol!
Preying Mantis?
Toba,
As long as the RANGERS don’t win the Cup, I really don’t care who does!
id prefer Rangers to Mtl, but not by much… they have the Oiler stench of Glen Sather..
Dinner time. BBL. Peace.
Orioles new logo?
Too Soon..
Rhino.. The best thing about that pic of her is I didn’t have 1 thought of Dion Jordan.. Great Job..
Rhino says:
April 28, 2015 at 6:53 pm
Which part of this picture describes Dion Jordan ??
it is that all of us will get the same playing time with her that jordan will get on the phins from now on.
I Like…. 🙂
Nice…
LOL ffr — you know me too well. I vomit all over people like the girl in The Exorcist. 🙂
lol you win my good man. bring up that movie and i run in the other direction.
OD, Philbin hasn’t even coached his 4th season yet.
Remember you’ve said Jeff Ireland screwed this team with the lack of talent he brought in so lets hope we get it corrected and winning seasons are in the near future. 🙂
SEE BELOW.
KEN: The upcoming season will be Philbin’s 4th consecutive non-winning season, a prediction I made around the time Steve Ross EXTENDED Philbin’s contract. TO REPEAT: Philbin will NOT A) Have a winning season; B) Will NOT get us to the PLAYOFFS and C) will NOT win a playoff game. –Anything less than at least one playoff win will be unacceptable to me. BUT, based on Philbin’s recent extension, NOT having a winning season is OK with Steve Ross (despite his words to the contrary).
The contract extension is common practice. Teams don’t allow coaches to coach as lame ducks. Sparano was given an extension and was fired during the season he got it in.
Exactly Tim. OD, if Philbin make the playoffs he will be back.
I’ll go a step further- Philbin goes 10-6 or better, he’ll be back- even if he doesn’t make the playoffs.
LOL @ Doggy!
That was my thought as well while looking at that hottie, that for a few seconds, I wasn’t thinking at all about Dion Fuckface!
LOL
Thanks OD – That was a big win for the Mets.
Montero is dealing tonight
Yeah, supposedly Gee tore into Collins about that. He feels like he shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in the rotation. I like Gee, but when you’re on a team loaded with young talent, you kind of DO have to fight for a spot.
Yes, and they want to start 6 here and there to give Harvey some additional rest. Maybe that’s why Gee is said to be on the trading block.
2011 was the year with the whole Jim Harbaugh fiasco followed by the round table with Ross, Ireland and Sparano discussing the state of the franchise which was a mistake by Ross. He should have just fired Sparano and brought in a new HC. You can argue he should have fired Ireland too and started over but that’s not what happened. Sparano was given an extension to give him a vote of confidence and not be a lame duck but he had to have a winning season.
That was the year we started off 0-7 and as soon as we lost our 9th game guaranteeing us a losing season Sparano was fired.
Let’s hope we have the right regime in place now and the 2015 season will be a good one. I’d prefer to look at it that way than predicting another non-winning season and the firing of Philbin.
I had forgotten we started 0-7 that season.
Yeah we then got to 3-9, Sparano was fired, Bowles became the interim HC and we finished 6-10. Bowles probably should have been given more consideration as the next HC. I think he’s going to be good for the Jets. Ugh!
Bri
They’ve been talking about unloading Gee all winter long, but then Wheeler got hurt, and that changed everything. It’s a good thing they didn’t deal Gee, because #1, we need him, and #2, if he does become expendable due to the emergence of either Monteiro or Matz, he’s really upping his value with games like last night.
Try, I agree with you if we go 10-6 and miss the playoffs Philbin will not be fired and I wouldn’t fire him either. The team has to continually show progress though. But f we have the playoffs in our control and collapse late again I’d make a change. That would be 3 years in a row.
Tim
In retrospect, you’re right, we should have given Bowles a longer look.
Yeah and I’m not saying that as a knock on Philbin, just that he kept the team competing off a bad year in more ways than just record.
I know you love Joe. No need to clarify. lol
BTW – The earlier headline “LSU Tackle La’el Collins WANTED for questioning” was a little bit of sensationalism. He isn’t WANTED, they just want to see if he has info or insight as to what may have happened. Don’t mess with my first RD pick! 🙂
WOW, Bravos have a 7 run 2nd inning against the Nattys, no homers to get 7 runs.
Go Bravos!
Mike E, see my 7:59 post about how much I love Joe. 😉
I didn’t see anything that indicates you don’t love Joe in that post. I’m JBB anyway.
LOL
WELL GUYZ AND GALZ, the Old Guy has to walk the dogs and hit the bed before 10 tonight.–Hope tomorrow is a great one for all of you!
Goodnight OD!
Mike E:
I have come to a conclusion that we here at FU Unleashed cannot allow you to obtain anymore Dolphin jersey’s.
I concur
So with La’el Collins wanted for questioning and as the article said “is not a suspect at this time” and “we have tried to rule him out” I think it is safe to say we will not be drafting him. Too bad because I think he is a talent but no way can we risk a 1st rounder on a guy that is involved in a murder investigation.
He’s not involved in a murder investigation.
It’s gotta be weird at the Orioles game right now.
I’m going to get something like this.
http://www.fanatics.com/NFL_Miami_Dolphins_Sweatshirts_And_Fleece/Miami_Dolphins_Majestic_Big_And_Tall_Passing_Game_Pullover_Hoodie_%E2%80%93_Aqua
Colonpokey has been singing cheesy love songs all day
Something about poking all Dolfans in 2013 has him buzzing
https://finsmobunleashed.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/cpspeedo.jpg?w=369&h=276
Collins and Ray are having a really bad week
Wow
We can’t draft Gregory, Collins or Ray. It would be a PR nightmare if it blows up in our face. Ugh!
I might consider Gregory in spite of that
ok it cant just be me. i cant be the only one cause of piggy that are starting to think richard gere had it right. gerbils are sexy
Read
http://phinphanatic.com/2015/04/28/lsu-tackle-lael-collins-to-be-questioned-by-police/
That update portion makes me feel better but still very couched language such as “not a suspect at this time”. I would pass.
It may be nothing but this close to the draft there is no way you can say he is not a risk
If this happened a month ago, teams might be reassured that he had no involvement
this is just horrible timing for him
My feeling exactly
FFRob
You are probably the only one
and I doubt anything I did was the beginning of it…lol
Closing up, catch ya later!
Ken says:
April 28, 2015 at 8:36 pm
Mike E:
I have come to a conclusion that we here at FU Unleashed cannot allow you to obtain anymore Dolphin jersey’s.
i concur toooooooo, we need to get him to start buying dolphin glove. that magic hand in a dolphin glove will make all you married men go crazy
The Flying Pig says:
April 28, 2015 at 9:02 pm
FFRob
You are probably the only one
and I doubt anything I did was the beginning of it…lol
hey, i had my standards before you.
Piggy, we’re drafting clean early on, bank on it.
Mike E. says:
April 28, 2015 at 8:58 pm (Edit)
He’s not involved in a murder investigation.
__________________________________________________
He is very much involved in a murder investigation. He may not be a suspect “at this time” but he is involved. The police are questioning him and the fact of the matter is he had a romantic involvement with the victim is not insignificant in a homicide investigation
Wedge thinks he may have missed a prospect
Otherwise known as the winner of the Randy Gregory and Shane Ray Fuckup Sweepstakes.
Honestly
When you throw our Ray, Gregory and Collins
I kind if think
This draft is a little weak
Just me?
100% agreed. WRs are strongest position in draft. Up until a week DE was 2nd but not sure about that anymore. 2 Really good QB prospects with no much else behind that and mediocre OL talent imo this year. Overall a relatively weak draft.
I actually don’t think too highly of he QBs either
Piggy:
I think the QBs are very talented. I think the top 2 are better than any QB in the last 2 years.
To me best players in the draft are:
1. Leonard Williams
2. Amari Cooper
3. Kevin White
4. Todd Gurley (would have been higher if not for the injuries imo)
5. Jameis Winston
6. Marcus Mariotta
7-50 are pretty much even.
I really think both QBs have high bust risk
Talent wise I disagree. The biggest concerns are Winston’s off the field behavior and Mariotta’s system fit issues. But I think Mariotta has the work ethic and attitude to adapt his game to the NFL and Winston’s talent is so good that who ever drafts him will find a way to keep him under wraps/control.
I’m glad we’re not looking for a QB. I like where we’re at with Tannehill. We added Suh, add a couple more impact players in this draft and I think we’re in the playoffs.
Tim:
I agree. I think we are in a good place with our QB no matter what Omar says. LOL.
Piggy, I like Dupree. Really good athlete at his size 6-4 270, 4.56, 42″ vertical, 11.6′ broad best in his class. This explains his Wake like explosiveness. I would not scoff at that pick. You have to get a good player in the 1st, no red flags.
Dupree will be gone by the time we pick. The Gregory and Ray red flags make Dupree a more valuable commodity imo. No way he makes it past the Giants imo.
Fair enough.
Dion Jordan is just proof how stupid and incredibly bad Jeff Ireland was….let us pray Tannenbaum gets us enough talent to make the playoffs. Hickey is a puppet IMO but a good one lol.
Jordan may be the all time Phins bust.
I think he is…we moved up to #3 get a dummy who barely played… =/
That’s the thing. We gave up a 2nd rounder to get him and ugh…
It wouldn’t be the blog without Gigi blasting Ireland. LOL
Kind of hard to argue against her right now.
I’m not even going there but Ireland has been gone for about 2 years. Move on! 🙂
I make no excuses for Jordan, but apparently he and his family have a history of drug use. At one point his mother list custody of him, if I heard correctly, and it seems as if Dion was more of the parent at one point. It begs the question what was the logic used to go up and get him when all of this info was out there?
A very good question indeed.
List= lost
McCain is the player to keep your eyes on. He might be everything we envisioned Jordan being as a player. He went undrafted but works his ass off and flashed last year. How cool would that be? 😉
I also want to see Fede. I think he can be what we envisioned Odrick could be. He flashed when he got his chances to play too.
Agreed. Fede is in that 275-290 range. He might be a run down DE and give us some pass rush here and there. Maybe more. 🙂
Fede has some pass rushing skills, I don’t just see him as a run stopper type of DE. He’s not fast with straight line speed, but he’s quick for a big guy. If we draft DE it will be for the future, since any one of our top 3 DEs might be gone next yr.
I see him as a stout run defender/pass rusher here and there kind of guy. It would be great if he was a gem like Jeff Cross was as a 9th rd pick.
Alright. Need to get my sleep tonight and tomorrow because there will be little sleep once the draft starts. I am out. Fuck Jordan and peace to you all.
Good to see you Ken. You to Gigi. Tim- eh. Lol. GOT is calling me. Good night.
J/k Tim- I see you every day.
I love GOT. Go enjoy.
Gigi, Why you keep bashing Hickey as a puppet? Clearly he is a very talented personnel guy, last year’s draft should tell you that.
Mr. T oversees the major football operations now this year, has input yes, but Tannenbaum is known in NFL circles to NOT be the best talent evaluator. He doesn’t have the years into it like Hickey does.
They are working together as a team. I don’t see Hickey standing there like Beetle Bailey going yes boss, aye aye captain, whatever you say….lol
LOL, it’s all about mocking Ross and his ship of fools. We’ll see.
Hickey seems to have good awareness when it comes to a players talent & character.
We haven’t had that in a long time!
Tim
Do you have time to do a photoshop? I don’t think it would take long, but if I’m wrong, I can live without it. I can e-mail it to you.
Sure, will it be Jordan stabbing himself or downing pills or something? LOL
LOL! Although maybe I should have you do something along those lines. I sent you an e-mail.
To tell you the truth, that would probably a lot more fun if we did something like that.
WOW, Braves up 10-2 now blow the lead in top 9th at home to Nattys 13-12, Dan Uggla finally gets a big hit (3run homer), but no longer as a Brave….SMH
Mets blew a game tonight too. Had men in scoring position 2 innings in a row in 7th and 8th, and couldn’t get them across.
I’m getting antsy waiting for this draft. I wish it was tomorrow.
I wish it was the day after tomorrow..
Your wish has come true!
Mike E.. I’m only 3 hours behind you. Does the hand have a time machine ?
Today is Tuesday, tomorrow is Wednesday, and the draft is Thursday, the day after tomorrow.
Good to see you TryPod as well!
GDP: Hickey made a great choice with Landry…who else?? Our team needed talent all over the field but considering the clusterfuck GM before him he did well. Tannenbaum brought in enough talent to the Jets they went to the playoffs and AFC championship..ijs.
Jawahn James.. Pretty solid pick !!!
I don’t remember him
It’s the Cush.. LOL. He was our RT 1st round pick and did a great job..
Mike. E.. You are making me rethink my life.. I thought I knew what day it was.. Draft is Thursday.. Wednesday is just like Christmas Eve..
LOL @ making me rethink my life.
I constantly do that and give up in case I see a different me.. Life is good !!!
Gigi is ready for a melt down. Nothing to see here. LOL
I love you too….lol….seriously must be smoking too much 😛
Gigi, Hickey’s first 2 picks became instant starters and played very well.
Turner is likely to start this season, coaches high on him.
Then the later round guys are developing and contributed some, like Aikens, Tripp, Fede.
Plus Hickey did well with UDFA’s McCain, Williams…he got us Brandon Albert, Delmas, Finnegan, & Moreno in FA, they all played well until injury.
That’s off the top of my head, but a real solid offseason for his 1st year here! Any GM would take that on his resume’. 🙂
He also signed Kelvin Sheppard who did well enough, they have resigned him along with Delmas.
I probably spelled his name wrong that’s why you don’t remember the big guy with no eyebrows.. Or it could be the Cush !!! Welcome to Cali…
It’s the Cush….lol
Thank u!!
Your Welcome !!!
Smoking too much cush must have eliminated his eyebrows.
Dude if he gets popped for a piss test it’s all your fault…
Yup.. I totally spelled his name wrong.. But he still don’t have any Effin Eyebrows !!!!
Mike. E…
Guess what ? Now I can’t wait until tomorrow.. BTW.. Who did we pick at 14 ?
Tune in tomorrow, I tell all . . . .
That’s fucked up man… I need to know !!
There’s no reason to read my article tomorrow if I give it away today. (OK, so there’s never any reason except the picture, but still!)
Gurley
Don’t think that will be the pick.. If it happens I won’t bitch but I just don’t see it..
Mike E will have Gurely there @ 14, especially now after La’el getting questioned in his baby mama’s murder investigation.
As long as he don’t buy his jersey we will be solid.. Shit .. He will probably be ROTY !!
LoL thx for the pic yes…he looks like an alien with no eyebrows!!
lol, but as long as he keeps Tanny clean who cares 🙂
Agreed!! 🙂
Dog, correct. Mike E is now under a very strict no jersey policy, only past stars allowed, like Marino, Csonka, etc.
Mike: We’re gonna pick a fat guy OL….lol!!
Maybe . . . . . 🙂
Something to ponder on Gurley.
The typical recovery time for such an injury is nine months to a year.
And the odds of tearing a reconstructed ACL are just 2 percent, said orthopedic surgeon Harlan Selesnick, the Miami Heat’s team physician.
But just as important is the extent of damage to the surrounding cartilage. Selesnick wouldn’t speculate on the nature of Gurley’s injury, but rather spoke about ACL tears in general. And in his history, players who rush back too quickly are more likely to suffer setbacks.
“If the overall condition of his knee is good and his ligament is good, that speaks well for his prognosis in the league,” Selesnick said. “Teams would be more likely to take a chance on a player like that than someone else who hasn’t ever recovered as well.”
Added Selesnick: “The success rate in terms of stability is really quite good. You don’t see a lot of guys having a repeat ACL surgery. … You can usually feel comfortable taking one of those players.”
Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/nfl/miami-dolphins/article19553817.html#storylink=cpy
I gotta get to sleep – Nighty night all! See ya tomorrow!
DeVante Parker, Louisville
Injury History
Missed one game due to a sprained shoulder in 2013. Fractured his foot at the start of the 2014 season and missed 7 games.
Analysis
The foot is the big concern. First year wide receiver players coming off a fracture in the foot usually struggle with injuries the first year or two back. Examples of wide receivers who have fractured their feet and were injured in a year or two that followed:
Julio Jones (hamstring, ankle then refractured the foot)
Demaryius Thomas (refractured the foot and then tore Achilles)
Hakeem Nicks (refractured the foot)
Michael Crabtree (tore Achilles)