The Porcine Oddyssey #94: An Interview with a Sweet Screw

LateNightPulledPorkSign

The Porcine Oddyssey #94: An Interview with a Sweet Screw

A STUDIO AUDIENCE SITS EXCITED FOR A START OF A TELEVISION SHOW

Announcer:  Welcome to another episode of Late Night Pulled Pork with your host Pigsgerald Bacon

PIGGY COMES OUT OF THE CURTAIN AND BOWS.  THEN HE SITS AT A DESK

PiggyLateNightSet

The Flying Pig:  Welcome to another installment of Late Night Pulled Pork with your favorite Bacon.

Tonight We have a very special guest with us.

Every Dolfan has heard about DeVante Parker’s offseason surgery right?

Well tonight we have…

No…um…not DeVante Parker.  But we have the next best thing.  We have the screw inserted in his foot!  Everybody put your hands together for the Sweet Screw!

THE SWEET SCREW COMES OUT FROM BEHIND THE CURTAIN AS THE AUDIENCE APPLAUDS LOUDLY

SweetScewonNightThe Sweet Screw:  Hello Everyone!  Oh you are two kind.

I love all of you.

You are the Greatest Ever!!!

I want to hug you all!

THE SWEET SCREW SITS IN A CHAIR NEXT TO PIGGY’S DESK

The Sweet Screw:  Oh Piggy, I’m so happy to be here with all these beautiful people in the audience.  Being around such great people is like Christmas for me

The Flying Pig:  Okay…

The Sweet Screw:  Being around such amazing people and pigs for just a moment is almost as good as volunteering at the Children’s Hospital…

The Flying Pig: Um…let’s get to the….

The Sweet Screw: I took time off from my visit at the nursing home to be here.  And even though I’m miss all the smiling dentures, I’m just filled with love being here.  Can you feel the love Piggy?  I just want to HUG!

THE AUDIENCE APPLAUDS LOUDER

Parker2

The Flying Pig:  Okay Okay…you are very sweet…we get it now…

The Sweet Screw:  because I’m filled with LOVE!

The Flying Pig:  Whatever (flipping through some index cards)…So in early June, Parker was pulled from offseason practices to have corrective surgery and you were inserted in his foot correct?

The Sweet Screw: That is right Piggy.  I’ve been spending a lot of time with the Dolphins 1st round pick.  But I can assure you, he will be ready to go in week 1 because I’m not mean.

The Flying Pig:  Assuming I believe you…what makes you so sure he will be ready to go in Week 1.

The Sweet Screw:  Because I’m filled with love Piggy…

PIGGY GAGS

The Sweet Screw: And because I am simply a precautionary measure.

TrotterDiagram

The Flying Pig:  So you Say!  (accusatory)  Here is a diagram.  Can you tell me exactly where you were inserted in Parker’s foot?

The Sweet Screw:  Um…I’m not sure that diagram is anatomically correct Piggy.   Besides, its irrelevant.  The decision to insert me in Parker’s foot was a long-term decision by the Dolphins.  They are looking out for Parker’s health years from now.  It was a collaborative decision from Parker’s camp and the Dolphins – which if you ask me is a classy move by the Dolphins.

The Flying Pig:  How do we know you aren’t going to sabotage his rookie year?

The Sweet Screw: Piggy…Is it possible you might just be a little nervous about the upcoming season.  You have nothing to worry about.  Parker actually hurt his foot in his senior season at Louisville.  Parker was looking great in the OTAs well after that injury.

LateNiteSet2 The Flying Pig:  Don’t you lie to me you little punk! The Sweet Screw:  Lie…Piggy, Im being honest.  I wouldn’t lie to you.  I love you.  I love everyone. The Flying Pig:  NO!!!  Do not come here and lie to me.  I know your game.  You are going to linger, and linger and we will never see Parker play in 2015.  I hate you screw.  I HATE YOU!!! The Sweet Screw: But Piggy….(wiping away a tear from his eye) The Flying Pig:  Get the fuck off my show you son of a bitch!

THE SWEET SCREW RUNS OFF THE SHOW CRYING  

THE CROWD BOOS PIGGY

PIGGY DRINKS “WATER” FROM THE MUG ON HIS DESK

FOR WEEKS AFTER THE SHOW PIGGY RECEIVED HATE MAIL FROM PEOPLE WATCHING HIS MISTREATMENT OF THE SWEET SCREW.  HERE IS A SAMPLING OF THE ANGRY EMAILS:

TimsEmail RandysEmail OmarsEmail JahnsEmail RobsEmail KongsEmail MikesEmail

PIGGY WAS LOST.  HE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.  

WAS HE NERVOUS ABOUT PARKER’S STATUS?  WAS PARKER GOING TO BE A BUST BECAUSE OF THE SWEET SCREW?  OR WAS PIGGY JUST BEING NERVOUS BECAUSE HE’S BEEN SCREWED BEFORE.

SO PIGGY WENT TO HIS CLOSET TO CONSULT THE BUST GODS

SacredBustJersey The Flying Pig:  (kneeling)  Oh great wasted $120 I can never have back.  Guide me.  Speak to me.  Tell me.  Did I mistreat the Sweet Screw?  Is he helping Parker?  Or will Parker be a bust?  Speak to me fruitless one.  Show me the way.

PIGGY KNEELED IN FRONT OF HIS CLOSET FOR A MONTH WAITING FOR AN ANSWER

AFTER A LONG SILENCE, THE JERSEY SPOKE TO PIGGY

The Jersey:  Piggy…. The Flying Pig:  Yes!  Speak to me!  Guide me! The Jersey:  I’m suspended until 2016, so it will have to wait… The Flying Pig:  Oh, fuck you  (shutting the closet door)

IN TIME, THE GUILT GOT TO PIGGY AND HE APOLOGIZED TO THE SWEET SCREW

IN RETURN, THE SWEET SCREW GAVE PIGGY A GIFT AWWWWW, HE IS SO SWEET…

PIGGY WAS WHOLE AGAIN

ParkerGift

This entry was posted in The Porcine Oddyssey. Bookmark the permalink.

326 Responses to The Porcine Oddyssey #94: An Interview with a Sweet Screw

  1. Rockphin says:

    Too funny Piggy. You have an error in your typing…

    So in early June, Parker was pulled from offseason surgery to have corrective surgery and you were inserted in his foot correct

    Oh and first

  2. Rockphin says:

    Piggy,

    SIT THE F*** DOWN AND STOP MAKING THAT NOISE!

    Sweet little screw will be OK

    Rockphin

  3. Brian in NY says:

    LMAO Piggy! I especially loved the “hate emails” and the “bust gods”.

  4. herdfan says:

    I almost choked on my coffee when I saw the pic of the ‘bust gods’. Hilarious!

  5. son of a son of a shula says:

    LOL@ Piggs, great job.
    Late Night Pork is my new favorite show.

  6. son of a son of a shula says:

    RIP to Sherman Hemsley

    Goodnight Mr. Jefferson

  7. Mike E. says:

    Very funny Piggy! Great job

  8. Mike E. says:

    RIP Dion Jordan jersey. May you rest in peace in my friggin closet!

  9. Mike E. says:

    Bri

    You still around?

  10. Tim Knight says:

    LOL @ Piggy

    The whole sweet screw filled with love making Piggy nauseous.

  11. Mike E. says:

    Bri – If you’re still lurking about, the Rockies traded Troy Tulowitski for Jose Reyes. Supposedly, the Rockies have a young SS they want to bring up, which means it’s possible Reyes may be available for another trade. Reyes would be a great fit, we need a leadoff hitter desperately, and Reyes is a better defensive SS than anyone we have now. Interesting possibility in the least.

    • Tim Knight says:

      I thought the same thing. Reyes is perfect for us. Yeah the Mets, Reyes and the Mets. Hmmmm… what a novel idea.

      • Mike E. says:

        He really would be a good fit if he could stay healthy. Either that, or we need an outfielder.

  12. Tim Knight says:

    Woof!

  13. Brian in NY says:

    Mike,
    I think the Rockies may be looking to move him as well, probably for ptiching. The fans would love to have Jose back! We have some shortstops (Rosario, Cecchini) in the system that still need time, so maybe he’d be a good option for us for the next few years. His .285 average would be leading the team by about .50 points!

  14. Tim Knight says:

    Mike E, to me we need a bat and whatever position he plays so be it.

    • Brian in NY says:

      We do, but we’d have to make some moves in the OF if that were the case. Granderson and Cuddyear are making too much to sit on the bench. Maybe Cuddyear’s injury is worse than they are letting on, and someone they acquire takes his spot. They would have to move Granderson to CF and bring Legares in late when they are ahead for D if all are healthy

      • Tim Knight says:

        So be it. Are they going to allow Cuddyer to keep failing in the clutch because of money, I hope not. Maybe Conforto is his replacement so just keep playing the best players. Legares hasn’t hit either and doesn’t deserve to be a lock in the lineup even though they gave him a nice extension too.

  15. Rockphin says:

    Boy Daisy Duke is REALLY looking like a backwoods redneck girl now…..

  16. Rockphin says:

    The Flying Pig says:
    July 28, 2015 at 9:23 am

    is it a bear pr a dog or some other kind of animal?

    It’s a Cock hound Pig, A Cock Hound…

    • Tim Knight says:

      It’s weird, what’s up with this dude? His father didn’t go into to details why his son was released the first time?

  17. Mike E. says:

    Granderson should be batting 4th, 5th or 6th. He would provide more RBI’s and run production from one of those spots. Reyes would lead off and finally, we’d have a legit leadoff hitter. Besides that, Reyes plays better defense than either Tejada or Flores.

  18. Mike E. says:

    BTW – I also really like the Clippard move. He’s tough on lefties, which is something we lack right now

  19. Mike E. says:

    Did we really re-sign Freeman?

  20. Brian in NY says:

    Off to continue summer projects. Have a good day lady and fellas !

  21. The Flying Pig says:

  22. Rockphin says:

    I am sooooooooo excited. Actual football news starts in 2 days!! I can read less crap about some sucky baseball team from the NY area………..HA NJBB

  23. Tim Knight says:

    It would be awesome if Brady fights the suspension and ends up getting more games. LOL

  24. CavalierKong says:

    Expected decision on Deflategate appeal in the next couple of days. IF the suspension is upheld, this was played brilliantly by the NFL. Hold off right until training camp starts. If Brady takes it to court it’ll be a distraction throughout the season, he’ll possibly still lose his 4 games and then he’ll have to serve the suspension later in the year when it hurts the team more.

    • Tim Knight says:

      Wells has said he’s got enough on Brady that he would convict him in court, and Wells isn’t some run of the mill attorney.

  25. bookman11 says:

    Good morning!
    This is the week where I begin to say my prayers each day on remaining healthy during training camp for the players.

    Can any of you New Yorkers recommend a decent hotel reasonably priced near Times Square?
    My wife and I are looking at booking a weekend trip to NYC.

  26. Tim Knight says:

    Bookman, you’re better off staying in NJ and then taking the train into the city.

  27. Mike E. says:

    Sorry Rock. I’m as big a Mets fan as I am a Dolphins fan. I so want for them to be relevant come September, as I wish the same for the Dolphins come January.

  28. bookman11 says:

    I realize that reasonably priced is relative, just thought maybe there was some hotels that were maybe smaller, better priced and decent value. $300.00 night is what we have been seeing and that is fine with us.

    • Tim Knight says:

      There you go then. Just to let you know what prices are in NYC these days, my daughter recently informed me that shots at clubs etc. are $15. LOL

  29. Mike E. says:

    The Marriott Marquis would be right about that, located exactly where you want

    • Mike E. says:

      You could have drinks at the View which is a revolving restaurant bar on the roof, which gives you a great view of NYC.

      • Mike E. says:

        To add, I would probably try Priceline or one of those sites like that, you may be able to get a good deal

  30. Tim Knight says:

    Mike E and Bookman, I was just in Jersey City on Sunday driving my friend to the train, he lives in Brooklyn. The view of the city and the Freedom Tower from there is amazing. That’s something you might want to see too and you won’t get that view from the city side.

  31. Mike E. says:

    Carlos Gonzalez is on the trade block. He’d give our lineup a big boost, but he’s no leadoff hitter.

  32. The Flying Pig says:

    Bookman

    Try Hotel Pennsylvania near Madison Square garden

    Honestly there are no “reasonably priced hotels” in NYC

  33. Mike E. says:

    Were there 10 other Bookmans before you? 🙂

  34. The Flying Pig says:

    And the Holdiay Inn in Chelsea is new
    Probably cleaner than Pennsylvania Hotel

    https://www.google.com/search?site=&source=hp&ei=2Jy3VeeKIcq5-QGclLyIAQ&q=holiday+inn+manhattan&oq=holiday+in+man&gs_l=mobile-gws-hp.1.1.0j0i10l2j0l2.3038.6966.0.8183.15.15.0.3.3.1.746.5650.2-7j3j2j2j1.15.0..2..0…1.1.64.mobile-gws-hp..5.10.2486.3.NX-h6KNjybw#istate=lrl:iv&rlimm=13445024411750858786

    I think it’s reasonably proved compared to the other trendy spots

    It’s about 20 blocks south of Times Square
    Which is walkable
    But maybe cabs or subways are better
    It’s a heap can ride, less than $10
    Maybe even $5

  35. Tim Knight says:

    Mike E, I don’t go to or party in NYC much but I remember $8-10 beers and drinks etc. I laughed when my daughter said a shot was $15.

  36. The Flying Pig says:

    Jersey has great views of the city

    Queens too
    There are hotels in Long Island city worth checking out too

  37. The Flying Pig says:

    It’s usually around 7-8$ beers near me on the UES
    If some one charges 5-6$ I think it’s a deal

    $10 + for beer is either delirium or a rooftop hotel
    I never go to a rooftop hotel or one of those trendy clubby spots
    They serve beers in glass cups! Yuk

  38. The Flying Pig says:

    You should be able to find something under $300 bookman
    But this time of year is probably pricier than others
    I would check priceline and Travelocity and all that stuff

  39. Mike E. says:

    Tim

    I haven’t partied in Manhattan in about 25 years. My wife still works in Manhattan, so she knows how crazy prices are. She runs into Piggy every now and again.

  40. Rockphin says:

    Mike E, No need to apologize for talking Met’s. LOL I was just bustin balls. (I dislike ALL baseball) Have at it.

    I just can’t wait until we get a regular dose of DOLPHINS NEW AND COMMENTARY!!! WHOOO hooo!!

    • Mike E. says:

      I hear ya. I do too, but I really don’t want to rush the summer away either. Summer is my favorite part of the year.

  41. Rockphin says:

    Bookman, wherever you wind up staying, don’t bring the luggage back into the house right away when you get back leave them suit cases in the garage and put the clothes right in the laundry. (unless you want to bring home bed bugs and never get rid of them)

    I remodel hotels for a living and have done several (20+) in NYC and surrounding areas. THEY ALL had bedbugs….

  42. stangerx says:

    So you want to got to LeSean’s party that he put out on instagram? Sorry you can’t unless you are Gigi or Herd.

    There are a few rules, according to the email you got back when you asked to come

    — females 21 and over only.
    — No +1’s!
    — Guests must provide a picture and their social media handles (presumably for more pictures).
    — Guests must sign a confidentiality agreement.

    Other than that you are good to go.

  43. Tim Knight says:

    Mike, your wife Runs to him? LOL

    But seriously, they literally bumped into each other?

  44. wyoming85 says:

    My Kinda Mall!

    • Rockphin says:

      WTF???? LOL! Ummmmm no, no thank you, no thank you very much…

      • Tim Knight says:

        Wyo buys some hiking boots and the salesmen says would you like a little jizz in those? He says sure, why not this is my kind of mall. LOL

      • Mike E. says:

        Is that what Pepsi is putting in their soda now instead of sugar and sugar substitutes? lol

  45. The Flying Pig says:

    I feel bad for the girls who are sending their pics to Shady McCoy and get rejected

  46. Mike E. says:

    Piggy

    Where did you see my wife in NYC?

    • The Flying Pig says:

      I forgot
      She works in the building 2 blocks north of my building
      It may have been there
      Or outside of grand central
      Or outside a restaurant deli there

  47. Tim Knight says:

    Pepsi’s new slogan: “Swallow it!”

  48. wyoming85 says:

    I was thinking about a mall with a happy ending!!!!!!!!!!

    Maybe I’m the only “pitcher”on the blog?

    Not that there is anything wrong with that of course! 😉

  49. wyoming85 says:

    Barry Jackson ‏@flasportsbuzz 23m23 minutes ago
    Because of clause, the Dolphins’ financial risk was lessened by cutting, then re-signing Freeman to a new contract: http://miamiherald.typepad.com/sports-buzz/2015/07/examining-dolphins-predicament-at-cornerback-nuggets-on-those-on-mix-golden-addresses-more-issues-he.html#storylink=addthis

    • The Flying Pig says:

      That is a weird clause

      But it makes sense

      It’s basically a financial move
      It’s probably Aponte’s fault

  50. herdfan says:

    Bookman:

    I like the W in NYC, it’s in Times Square area. I have no idea how much it is these days. I’ve stayed at the Waldorf, I didnt’ like it.

  51. The Flying Pig says:

  52. Rhino says:

    Piggy, the “bust gods” was a classic… I have a feeling it will make it’s way into this blogs vault of inside jokes for quite some time.

    On another note… what’s with the trend of story lines that require objects being inserted into players? Will Sweet Screw and Colonpokey ever co-star in an episode? 🙂

  53. getterdone says:

    I’m baaaaaack!

  54. Rhino says:

    MikeE… are you happy with the trade for Clippard? A’s fire sale under way. 😦 Zobrist is a bat the mets or royals could use because he plays so many positions well. His numbers are lower than previous years because of an early season injury that skews the averages. His health has returned and he’s been kicking butt.

    • Mike E. says:

      Yes, we needed another guy that can set up, and we really needed a reliever who can get lefties out, and Clippard is good in that regard. I don’t think Zobrist is in play for the Mets anymore After acquiring Juan Uribe and Kelly Johnson, we need either an outfielder who is a slugger or a leadoff hitter with speed, or a shortstop who can hit and lead off, like Reyes.

      • Rhino says:

        shortstop to lead off… where would Uribe play? I did not know Kelly Johnson was part of that trade. He’s a ‘less expensive’ target for utility than Zobrist.

        Clippard’s delivery will freak you out, but he’s got a killer change up. Tends to walk too many guys when he first comes in… elevates a close out situation into nail biting. Once he gets 15 pitches under his belt he really settles in and is hard to hit. BUT those first 15 pitches have as many alternate realities as a Star Trek episode.

        He was supposed to be our 8th inning guy until Doolittle got injured. If Doolittle was healthy, our bullpen strength would not have collapsed. Our statistical projections indicate a 10 win swing which would put us in the hunt. With Clippard and Kazmir traded, our season is officially done. good luck, hope the trade works out.

  55. getterdone says:

    Also I see Freeman’s back….obviously there was no fear another team would snatch him up upon being released…lol

  56. Tim Knight says:

    LOL @ Piggy on Nigerian-mobile-entrepeneurs

  57. Tim Knight says:

    So there he is, GD is back from Rio celebrating 3 weeks of gay pride. I knew it had to be something. LOL

  58. bookman11 says:

    Thanks for all of the tips on the NYC hotels….oh and the bed bug information. We have been to NYC a few times and have not had an issue with bed bugs.

    We did go out to the bars one night, and beers were 7-8 dollars and a jaegerbomb was $15.00.

    It was a great night out, however!

    • Tim Knight says:

      Then you already know what you’re dealing with. Enjoy!

      Be careful of a flying pig. He likes to fart in your general direction. 😉

  59. The Flying Pig says:

    Anyone see Jahn or FFRob or lately

    I know it’s the offseason
    Just wondering

  60. The Flying Pig says:

    Rhino,

    Funny you should mention it
    the Porcine Oddyssey: the colonoscopy epsid

  61. getterdone says:

    Tim,
    Happy belated Bday…now Ben Dover!

  62. The Flying Pig says:

    Rhino,

    Funny you should mention it
    the Porcine Oddyssey: the colonoscopy episode starring Colonpokey and the sweet screw is soemthing I’m considering

    But no pics on that one…

  63. wyoming85 says:

    Dolphins Report
    ‏@dolphins_fanly
    Vikings’ Mike Wallace admits mistakes in Miami, plan… #MiamiDolphins #Dolphins http://www.fandrips.com/p/zkjFSF2y8C

    • getterdone says:

      Suuuure he will….he’s said the same thing before.
      He’ll likely riin a young developing Bridgewater…although AP is the great equalizer.

    • stangerx says:

      “‘m trying my best to be a leader this year and do a much better job in that department than I have been before. I’ve got to be a better person and a better player and lead more.”….

      “You’re not winning, you’re not doing the things you expect out of yourself, you’re not meeting your goals, and you get frustrated. And I have to do a better job of holding that frustration in sometimes.”
      ————————–
      If I was him I wouldn’t worry about the leader part so much……but imagine how that frustration thing would have worked if he was playing for the Raiders last season.

  64. wyoming85 says:

    Adam Schefter ‏@AdamSchefter 5m5 minutes ago
    Former No. 1 overall pick Jake Long is set to work out for the Atlanta Falcons this afternoon, per @mortreport.

    • Rhino says:

      sure wouldn’t mind big Jake as a backup… but he is still looking for starter money

      • wyoming85 says:

        I don’t know if at this point he can ask for much!

        I still Love his attitude!!!!! 🙂

      • stangerx says:

        Back-up for sure……but guessing he hasn’t gotten his mind around to how much he is worth. His cool wife did love South FLA though.

  65. wyoming85 says:

    Miami Dolphins ‏@MiamiDolphins 2m2 minutes ago
    .@OlivierVernon50 is going to make a huge jump.

    WATCH: http://oak.ctx.ly/r/3f9b0

  66. Tim Knight says:

    LOL @ GD

  67. getterdone says:

    The NFL and Le’Veon Bell are negotiating a settlement that could reduce his three-game suspension to one or two games.
    Bell’s suspension stems from an August 2014 incident in which he was pulled over with marijuana in his car, and got charged with both possession and a DUI. Bell’s camp is arguing that he’s being punished twice for the same offense.
    ___________________________________
    The set up before the Marsha Brady ruling….SMH!

  68. Tim Knight says:

    Piggy, Jahn peaks in here and there. FFR probably banned himself. LOL

  69. Al in MIA says:

    No way Long gets starter money these days with his injury risk profile. If Jake Long can find a way to play guard then bring him in for a try out that’s about it.

    • getterdone says:

      If he passes physical he’ll likely get a solid deal, but one that’s loaded with PT clauses/incentives.

    • stangerx says:

      After all the injuries……think his best option is right tackle for some team…..but that ain’t us, as a starter at least.

  70. Tim Knight says:

    I wonder if putting grass in the revamped stadium is a part of the analytics dept.?

  71. Al in MIA says:

    Rhino,
    I don’t think the A’s lost much in the deals to tell you the truth.
    Kazmir has been historically hurt his whole career and it’s a miracle he didn’t suffer one this year (though there was a scare a couple months ago).
    They have other arms they can work with.

  72. Al in MIA says:

    The whole division knows Clippard as he’s spent most of his career with the Nationals.

  73. wyoming85 says:

    My favorite Tweet of the day!!!!!!! 🙂

    Miami Dolphins Cheer ‏@MDCheer 6m6 minutes ago
    Pic of the Day: Take a look at our Flawless Outtakes!

    PICS: http://bit.ly/1Iqo0U3

  74. Tim Knight says:

    GD, did you see where Wyo likes jizz in his shopping?

    • getterdone says:

      I try to avoid those places unless you’re gonna be there 😉

      Happy Bday man….I was catching up on blog some, saw you just turned 50…
      Welcome to the old farts club…OD is getting your membership card ready….LOL

  75. getterdone says:

    Lions signed RJ Stanford….remember him?
    He was in mix @ CB depth for us a couple times.

  76. The Flying Pig says:

    Isn’t that romantic

    Hey wait a minute…

  77. Mike E. says:

    Rhino

    I’m very familiar with Clippard, he pitched for the Nationals for quite a few years, at least 5.

  78. getterdone says:

    Al, saw you mention LB’s earlier, also Manitoba a few blogs back.

    I think Vigil is the guy that will breakout over the other UDFA LB’s. He’s quick to the ball, has good instincts, may need a year to beef up into a more NFL ready strength & conditioning…but with guys like Suh, Mitchell, Mosley, & Phillips in front of you, a guy like him can make big plays.

    Hull was a big name in Penn St., but he’s on smallish side height wise, seems slower in read react, can thump the ball carrier, but not gonna be a good coverage LB…IMO.

    With our DL, especially DT’s, I feel guys like Tripp, Vigil, & Jenkins, even Hewitt can be effective, not only in the run support, but in the quick short passing game that teams will resort to more often vs our DL.
    They will be like having a couple extra SS’s in the box.

    • Tim Knight says:

      Just remember our LB coach Mark Duffner pounded the table for us to sign Hull. He wanted us to draft him.

  79. Mike E. says:

    Welcome back GDP! Enjoying summer?

    • getterdone says:

      Thanks Mike…yeah, been running here n there during this hot azz summer, but it’s been fun, thanks.
      Ready for some football now! 🙂

  80. Tim Knight says:

    Mike E. says:
    July 28, 2015 at 2:07 pm

    OK, there you go. He was a tough matchup for us, that much I remember.

    Yes he was but who isn’t. We make average pitchers look like Sand Kofax. LOL

  81. getterdone says:

    Tim Knight says:
    July 28, 2015 at 2:07 pm
    Just remember our LB coach Mark Duffner pounded the table for us to sign Hull. He wanted us to draft him.
    Reply

    True, I’m not knocking Hull…he could surprise. Penn St. puts out quality LB’s usually. Plus Duffner did well with another Penn St. LB in Jax with Posluszny, but Pos is bigger, more talented…IMO.

    • Tim Knight says:

      Duffner said Hull is simply a football player. I’m not sure of his upside at the next level but he could be a real good STs ace.

      • getterdone says:

        ST ace is what I was thinking….he’ll be able to duck under blocks & he won’t let a guy with the ball run through him.

  82. getterdone says:

    Dolphins coach Joe Philbin says the team is open to giving Lamar Miller more carries in 2015.
    Miller notoriously failed to hit 20 carries in any game last year, despite averaging an explosive 5.09 yards per tote in one of the NFL’s most efficient rushing offenses. Miller did handle 19 carries in each of Miami’s final two games, however, and Philbin left the door open for Miller to be treated more like a workhorse this year. “I would tell you I’ve never been in a meeting where I’ve said to [OC] Bill [Lazor] or [RBs coach] Jeff Nixon or the offensive line coaches (that) ‘Lamar can’t carry the ball 20 times a game. He can’t do it,’” Philbin insisted. “I’ve never heard that. That’s never come out of my mouth. … I would tell you, if he’s cranking and he got it 24 times a game and he’s healthy and he’s fast and he’s explosive, it doesn’t bother me one bit.”
    _________________________________________
    Will be interesting to see how this plays out with Lamar being in a contract year, and with guys like Damien Williams & Ajayi breathing down his neck.
    If we get good OG play inside finally, then this RB corp, hell this whole offense, could ROCK!

  83. Mike E. says:

    LOL @ Tim – Can’t argue that. He’s always been a tough pitcher against us, even when we DID hit. 🙂

    • Tim Knight says:

      True!

      Boy: Mama, were there cars when the Mets used to hit?
      Mama: Now son, don’t get all silly before going to bed. You know the Mets don’t hit!
      Boy: Yeah but… they once…
      Mama: Now now, what did I say, that kind of talk is not allowed in this house.
      Boy: Sorry Mama!
      Mama: You sleep tight, Mookie.

  84. The Flying Pig says:

    • stangerx says:

      “On or shortly before March 6, the day that Tom Brady met with independent investigator Ted Wells and his colleagues, Brady directed that the cell phone he had used for the prior four months be destroyed.”

      Must have been based on some advice from some collect calls from Hernandez.

  85. The Flying Pig says:

  86. The Flying Pig says:

  87. The Flying Pig says:

  88. The Flying Pig says:

  89. Mike E. says:

    Fuck ’em! Cheating prick!

  90. stangerx says:

    Somehow guessing we don’t have to worry about the federal lawsuit now. No way tom wants to deal with that.

    Am wondering why the destroyed cell phone wasn’t in the report.

    • Brian in NY says:

      I don’t think that they knew it then because he refused to show Wells the texts. It must have come out in his appeal meeting.

      • stangerx says:

        Good point…….I was just looking at the first date in Pig’s post. Certainly made a difference though.

    • Tim Knight says:

      I believe the intel about the cell phone being destroyed just came out recently. He may have also wanted it destroyed because he was having a love relationship with Justin Beiber.

  91. The Flying Pig says:

    Lmao

  92. The Flying Pig says:

    Lol@Col. jessup

  93. The Flying Pig says:

  94. stangerx says:

    Roger Goodell’s current facebook pic

  95. Rockphin says:

    Tom Brady’s suspension upheld!! Whoohooo! Going to be a lawsuit now.

  96. stangerx says:

    What I am surprised about is they didn’t give him the chance to just take the 4 without the cell phone thing being mentioned. Or maybe they did…….

    • The Flying Pig says:

      To the Brady camp
      It’s all about his reputation
      So I’m guessing they were pushing for no suspension
      Or some sort of public apology

      • stangerx says:

        But they had to know it wasn’t coming based on the phone. He’s moved from protecting his privacy rights to A Hernandez.

  97. The Flying Pig says:

  98. getterdone says:

    *Correction….

  99. The Flying Pig says:

  100. stangerx says:

    What do you think it’s worth on E-Bay?

  101. The Flying Pig says:

  102. The Flying Pig says:

    I thought this was the funniest tweet

  103. Jahndoh30 says:

    So glad the suspension was upheld. Hope he DOES fight it in court. Lets have his precious “reputation” on page 1 of the news for another year. He’ll probably fight it the entire year than announce his retirement. Lol..

    Hilarious stuff Piggy!!!!!!!!!

    • stangerx says:

      He’d be the stupidest MF in the world if he does.

    • steveccnv says:

      That’s what I’ve been hoping for all along, drag it out as long as possible. It would be funny, if he did fight it in court, so he could play the first half of the yr, then get suspended for the 2nd half.

  104. steveccnv says:

    On the radio they were asking, why can’t the suspension go up to 6 or 8 games with the new evidence.

    • The Flying Pig says:

      well the CBA is a different animal than the courts
      but generally, there is no increased penalty on appeal
      If some one does something punishable during appeal its a separate “case”
      The idea of upholding an appeal is that the decision was “correct”
      if you are saying it was too harsh or not harsh enough you are saying it was “incorrect”
      This isn;t written in stone anywhere
      don;t give it any weight b/c I’m a lawyer
      just saying what I think is the idea between not increasing punishments during an appeal

      • Tim Knight says:

        What about new evidence about destroying the phone?

        And what about a pointed stick?

  105. stangerx says:

    Sorry Gisele got get off. Been 4 months…..time to smash.

  106. steveccnv says:

    What we’ve been hearing for the last few days is, it isn’t fair that they don’t tell the cheats if the suspension will be upheld, dragging it on into camp.

    They cheated and the way it’s being handled isn’t fair? Fight fire with fire.

  107. getterdone says:

    Was just reading where it’s thought that Brady will still take this to federal court.
    I hope so. Make a spectacle out of yourself Marsha boy!

    • Tim Knight says:

      Totally agree!

    • The Flying Pig says:

      I’ve been hearing that was the basis to why settlement was likely

      So now that there is no settlement, it seems likely to me too

      And I agree with you
      it will become a spectacle

      A Federal Court is going to reverse a suspension where the suspended player destroyed evidence….I don;t think so

      Ken and I discussed it last week
      We sort of disagree
      I have a lot of reservations that the Federal Court will even interfere or hear the case
      They might choose not to interfere with the NFL disciplining a player as permitted under the CBA

      I feel like after Ray Rice people assume the Federal Court will always be a factor, and I am thinking, they might not be, in fact they might choose to make a point of it in this case

  108. Rhino says:

    Baseball fans:
    Zobrist to KC for #4 lhp prospect Manaea… 96 mph fastball, #2 prospect in KC farm system. If A’s are gonna suck, it’s nice to get something out of it. lol

    Al: I liked Kazmir. He got tired at the end of the season, but with the A’s his injuries have been negligent. He’s been great for us.

  109. Rockphin says:

    I just read that one of the NFLPA / Brady’s defense’s arguments is, wait for it, that although it is against the rules, it is against the rules for team staff, not the player…

    Also, this: He wasn’t made aware of what the penalty for cheating would before hand….

    • Tim Knight says:

      Liars continue to get caught lying and making stuff up. That’s how it works when you lie.

    • steveccnv says:

      Being unaware of the law/rules doesn’t get you off free.

      By that logic:
      Why doesn’t he set the refs shirt on fire, moon the Fans, drink a beer on the sidelines?

  110. getterdone says:

    Bloomberg’s Scott Soshnick reports the NFL has asked the U.S. District Court in Manhattan to “confirm” Tom Brady’s four-game suspension.
    In other words, they’re suing Brady before he can sue them. Brady’s 2014-15 decision to slightly under-inflate his footballs has resulted in an all-out war with the league. The SportsBusiness Journal’s Daniel Kaplan speculates the league’s suit is designed to get the matter out of judge David Doty’s jurisdiction. Doty has often been a thorn in the NFL’s side. Brady’s case is looking a bit shaky amidst the revelation he intentionally destroyed his phone on the day of his meeting with investigator Ted Wells.

    • The Flying Pig says:

      I think that is a mistake by the NFL
      Basically giving the Fed Court their consent to look at the merits
      They basically just agreed to jump the first hurdle for Brady

    • Rhino says:

      Patriots players have serious anger/abuse issues with their cell phones. lol

    • stangerx says:

      I don’t even understand what this means. Why would the NFL go to a fed district court to confirm anything?

      • The Flying Pig says:

        It really doesn’t make sense
        I didn’t even think of it until you mentioned it

        Is there an underlying lawsuit
        There has to be to even pose a federal question

        A lot of people will try to say its recipricol
        but I don;t think it is unless there is somethiing I am missing

    • getterdone says:

      The canned hunts totally disgust me!

    • The Flying Pig says:

      Talk about finger pointing

      I relied on the expertise of the guides is as finger pointing as it gets

      • Tim Knight says:

        He knew what he was doing. He should be put out there nude with raw meat hanging off of him and let them clean him up.

    • steveccnv says:

      Yeah, what an asshole. I think all hunting should be banned, unless they deem it necessary, because of over-population. Back in the day when hunting was done to put food on the table, is a different matter, but trophy hunting…

  111. Rhino says:

    Mets fans:
    Mets offered Rafael Montero for Zobrist. A’s turned it down…. guess they hoped Beane doesn’t read injury reports. lol

  112. Rockphin says:

    The Pat’s first four games are Pittsburgh, Buffalo, Jacksonville & Dallas. I think with Jimmy the greek at QB they will lose three of those. (who knows, MAYBE Jax can pull off a win too) That puts them at 1-3 to start the season while we will be a 4-0

    1-3 teams do not make the playoffs statistically speaking.

  113. steveccnv says:

    Pig, Ray Rice’s suspension went up after new evidence came out (video).

    • The Flying Pig says:

      You are correct – factually

      but just to add some details to it
      The NFL had already suspended Rice and it was a minor suspension
      and then the video came out and there was a negative public reaction

      So the NFl increased the penalty significantly after it initially ruled

      that was what lead to the Fed Court involvement
      The fact that Rice was basically punished twice for the same incident

      My take on it, is that the Fed court won;t get involved in punishment under the CBA unless there is something patently unfair like
      a. punishing some one twice; or
      b. the same guy who heard the initial hearing hearing the appeal

      I mention the 2nd one b/c it happened in this case with Brady
      if the Fed Court get involved I suspect they will cite this as a basis as to why they might get involved

      and I do personally think its unfair and overeaching for the NFL to allow the commish to hear a trial and the appeal even though the CBA permits it

      to me that is the real threat to the 4 game suspension, the fact that Goodell heard the appeal
      That is the thing the Fed Court needs to say – “okay that is not fair”

      but the facts of this case, don;t really call for it
      and sometimes the facts of a case (that are not supposed to be looked at” end up being a factor

      I’m just speculating

  114. getterdone says:

    Rock & Steve, the Cheatriots started 2-2 last season 🙄

    • steveccnv says:

      Yes, I know, that’s what I’m saying, just, because Brady is out for 4 games don’t count them out. The biggest difference from last yr is the fact that their starting cbs are gone.

      • getterdone says:

        Yeah, I’d love to see Tanny burn their secondary and we light them up for a ton of points and then run the ball down their throats while Brady watches from the sidelines!

    • Rockphin says:

      And cheated their way into the Superbowl, Yeah I know what happened last year.

      THIS year they will start 1-3 and will fall to 2-5 after losing to the Colts and beating the Jets. Then they will play us and lose Brady for the rest of the year when Suh / Wake / Vernon make a pretzel sandwich out of him. They will then go on to lose 6 more and win two for a final record of 4-12

  115. steveccnv says:

    When the Raiders and Al Davis fought the league they were unofficially blackballed, not given a fair shake on calls. My hope is the cheats get the same treatment.

  116. wyoming85 says:

    Man ya’ll are hilarious!

    I heard less outrage about the Riots and mass murders going on than I do about a fucking lion in Africa?

    Not that he wasn’t a dip shit and has a history of bending the rules of hunting area’s.
    Should of had his licence pulled the first time. ( Not that does any good in Africa )

    But seriously it’s a fuckin lion

  117. herdfan says:

    Brady’s defense is he regularly destroys his phones? People who regularly destroy their phones on purpose (burner phones) are doing it to hide something or to prevent being linked to something they shouldn’t be doing, generally something illegal. That’s the best he can come up with? What an idiot!!!

  118. The Flying Pig says:

    I’m going to go ahead and guess that Brady’s lawyers did not actually tell him to destroy his phone

    at best it was sort of like “wink wink Brady, if you did, I never knew about it”

    • Al in MIA says:

      LOL.
      Or something along the lines of the lawyers simply saying in general discussion. “Ok Tom, since you destroyed the phone for security reasons….” …with Brady going, “I did?”

  119. Al in MIA says:

    When is Bookman planning to visit NYC?
    There are plenty of hotels but I agree with Piggy…who the F stays at the Pennsylvania Hotel except the Westminister Dog Show dogs lol.

  120. Al in MIA says:

    Not sure Brady is going to bother challenging in court anyway, the NFLPA is going to battle the NFL ruling for him.

  121. Al in MIA says:

    Tim,
    lol, well ‘reasonable’ in NYC can mean alot of things.
    August should be cheap as people prepare to take their kids to school all over the US.
    Can find probably a ton of places under 200 a night.
    In terms of the national chains, Comfort Inn is probably the cheapest but their rooms are definitely no frills and are just big enough to fit the bed.

  122. getterdone says:

    Chiefs NT Dontari Poe is recovering from back surgery to repair a herniated disk, and is out indefinitely.
    Poe won’t participate in camp. Per coach Andy Reid, there’s a “reasonable chance” Poe returns at the “end of the season.” Poe was a slow developer, but has come on as one of the league’s premier nose tackles. His loss is a massive blow for a run defense that was one of the league’s worst in 2014, and doesn’t know what it will get from Mike DeVito and Derrick Johnson as they recover from Achilles’ injuries. Poe has missed just one game in three NFL seasons. Jaye Howard is the next man up on the depth chart.
    _______________________________
    Ouch! I wish we had them on our schedule this year…oh well.
    Can bet Reid will be looking at whoever we cut @ DT.

  123. Tim Knight says:

    Wyo is anti-Lionte. 😉

  124. Al in MIA says:

    Tim,
    Oh well I guess this one is off Bookman’s hotel options list…LOL
    http://chelseamewsguesthouse.com/

  125. olddolphan says:

    From the snowplow game to Spygate to Deflategate, the Patriots are a franchise built on the twin concepts of CHEATING AND LYING. BELICHEAT was below .500 when he couldn’t cheat at Cleveland and got fired. All of a sudden he becomes a “genius” when he goes to Foxboro?? –No, No, I am most certainly NOT BUYING THAT!! Voting Belicheat and Brady into the Hall of Fame would make as much sense as voting Bonds, McGwire, Sosa,and Palmeiro into the baseball Hall of Fame. It is time the voters took a long look at CHEATING and asked themselves “HOW DO WE STOP IT???” One good way would be to NOT REWARD CHEATERS with a bust in the Hall!! –Yes, I agree that we’ll ALWAYS have cheaters. That’s true of most/all professions. But that DOESN’T MEAN we have to encourage CHEATERS!! – – And voting Belicheat and Brady into the Hall in Canton would be JUST THAT–an encouragement and a reward for CHEATING!!
    —————–
    In my mind, the New England franchise always reminds me of robbers, killers, cheaters and the lowest kind of scum! Aaron Hernandez, the criminal who, on work release, drove the snow plow, Brady, Belicheat and the kingpin of the whole franchise, Bob Kraft, who SHAMELESSLY DATED A WOMEN HALF HIS AGE WHILE HIS WIFE WAS DYING OF CANCER!!!!!—WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!!! ONLY Bob Kraft could make me side with Putin when he unceremoniously KEPT one of Kraft’s Super Bowl rings!!

  126. Brian in NY says:

    Mike/Tim,

    Meija suspended 162 games for 2nd PED violation. I wonder if that is why we acquired Clippard.

  127. Rhino says:

    talking heads on sports shows are starting to back pedal on Brady because of the whole “destroyed his cell phone” revelation. Polian destroyed Brady (…and I could care less if he had a motive cuz it was so much fun).

    • Mike E. says:

      Sounds bad from the headline, but that site is blocked at work for some reason. I too, hope Manitoba is OK

    • Al in MIA says:

      Well the report does say that no one was hurt. Anyway, that it lasted for 2-3 hours is the insane part. I can just see Home crying HAARP lol

  128. Al in MIA says:

    It’s going to be a great season for the AFC home teams when the Patriots are on the road. There will be an endless supply of signs, props, & gestures directed at the Pats. TV producers will be trying hard to avoid showing any of it on national TV.

  129. stangerx says:

    Tommy Boy couldn’t care less about inflation levels……everybody just hates the Pats for being so good.
    ——————————-
    “Second, at least by the time of the AFC Championship Game, the inflation level of the footballs was a matter of particular interest to Mr. Brady. He told the Patriots’ equipment staff that he wanted the footballs inflated at the lowest permissible level; he reviewed a highlighted copy of the provision of the Playing Rules that addressed inflation of footballs; and he instructed the equipment staff to present a copy of the rule to the game officials.”

  130. Brian in NY says:

    LMAO @ Angry Mike!

  131. Brian in NY says:

    Duda wih a 1st inning HR. 2-0 Metropolitans

  132. Mike E. says:

    LET’S GO METS!!!

  133. The Flying Pig says:

    Don’t worry
    I met Manitoba
    I am sure he IS the storm

  134. Ken says:

    LMAO @ Piggy all the way from Mexico

  135. The Flying Pig says:

  136. dbolt48 says:

    As the great Lionel Richie would sing:

    “You’re once, twice, 4 times a cheater”

    • The Flying Pig says:

      Bradys reputation is toast
      And I think the patriots and their fan base have made it worse

      • dbolt48 says:

        No doubt. The best part is their only defense is “he didn’t have to show them his phone.”….LOL

  137. The Flying Pig says:

    If it goes to federal court
    They are going to subpoena all phone records

  138. herdfan says:

    Bookman(if you’re still around)

    Took me a bit to remember the name of it but another hotel I’ve stayed at in NYC, the Muse, a boutique type hotel less than a block from Times Square. Great location, and as I recall very good place to stay. The thing I remembered about it was the bed was VERY comfy! lol No clue what the rates are but as I recall it was walking distance to a lot of places so no need to spend $$ on cabs.

  139. Ken says:

    Piggy:

    Mexico is really hot but the drinks are great. Doing the Mayan ruins tomorrow

  140. Ken says:

    I think the league is pre-emptively filing in Federal court in Manhattan to get around whatever jurisdiction Judge Doty had over the CBA appeals

  141. Ken says:

    Piggy:
    For some reason not too many margaritas but a lot of pina coladas and mojitos

  142. CavalierKong says:

    Just read Goodell’s decision in it’s entirety.
    Slam dunk!
    An appeal will only move the suspension to later in the season IF team Brady succeeds in getting an injunction.
    Suck it Brady!

  143. Ken says:

    Drive by from Mexico is done. Go Phins and fuck Brady

  144. CavalierKong says:

    Goodell’s decision masterfully addressed every single perceived weak point of the case: the two needles used on game day, the independent scientific study that refuted the science of the Wells Report regarding the Ideal Gas Law, “delegating” the decision to Troy Vincent, inconsistency with the punishment in comparison to past actions, etc, and It slams the absurdity of all Brady’s excuses including his weak ass attempt to explain destroying his phone.

    It completely destroys any shred of credibility Brady could lay claim to. This is better than Christmas. My favorite part of this is that if Brady had just admitted to it in the beginning it would have been a minor punishment, talked about for a few weeks, then filed away. LMAO, he brought this all on himself with his holier than though, self righteous bullshit.

    HAHAHAHAHA, enjoy the harvest you dirty cheating assclown!!

  145. manitobafinfan says:

    jets suck/Mike: Thanx for thinking of me. Storm was 2 hrs SE of me. Two weekends ago we had 3-4 twisters touch down 45 mins north in the wife’s old hometown. 2-3 hours touch down is crazy shit.

    Piggy: you calling me a windbag?? I’m gonna throat punch ya😡. Just kidding 😎

    Welcome back GDP

    Ken: have a couple tequila shots for me.

    Is it football season yet ?? GO PHINS!!!

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s