Ah…welcome to Mustachios Cuts. Long time you no see me…no?
Il pezzo di merda Dolphins are 1-3 (Mustachio spits on the floor). Affanculo Dolphins – How could you be so cruel to Mustachio? You fuck Dolphins fans so much in the first quattro games, you make my whore wife looks like a vergine.
Il Dolphins promote Dan Campbell from tight ends coach to il grande capo now! Chi e Dan Campbell? Primo, Dan Campbell is too grande for Philbin’s old podiums…
Secondo, Coach Campbell is a man with fuoco nel suo ventre!
All week Dan Campbell has promesso a more fisico Dolphins team!
Coach Campbell has giovanile energy! He is only trentanove and was last a player in the NFL in 2009!
Campbell was drafted by the Giants in 1999 and started for them in 2000 when they went to the Super Bowl!
By 2003 Campbell was in Dallas, and was coached by the Grande Tonno. He barely caught over 200 receiving yards for Dallas – Per lo piu, he was a blocking tight end.
He then went to the Lions in 2006 where he had his migliore year as a pro before retiring a few years later and starting his coaching career in Miami, which is the only team he has ever coached for.
Mustachio thinks Campbell sembra some one who can still play.
But he is not playing now – he is coaching.
And coaching very a very fisico style. In his primo practice Campbell insisted on running il Tapano di Oklahoma!
Benvenuto to Miami Coach Campbell. Mustachio bestows these gifts on you. Primo a magico mustache. This mustache will assistere you in battling each week!
Secondo, Mustchio brings you this helmet to deflect the temperamental fans and media in Miami. This helmet will help you deflect ridiculous criticism which you can expect to come your way!