By Dr. Bruce Banner
Someone tell Hulk The Never Ending Story was children’s fantasy literature book first published in 1979. It was then later made into a movie a few years later. Hulk know whoever told him that is wrong. The Never Ending Story came to be in 1999 and it stars the Miami Dolphins. It is not a children’s fantasy story but rather it is a horror story that once again we Dolphin fans watch unfold this past Sunday in Seattle.
We Dolphin fans have seen the same story game after game and year after year. The defense plays lights out except when you need it to make a stop it fails. The offense never gets going and fails to explode like you always think it should. It always seems to be on the verge of a big play but just when you think it is about to happen the big play slips away through your fingertips. When the offense finally does get a drive a gives us the lead, the defense the fails to make the stop. There is the constant stream of 2 yard dink and dunk routes. The talk of committing to a running game then to see that go by the wayside. There is ill timed penalty or the inexplicable time out. There is the steady stream of moral victories without actually winning a game. There is a quarterback that is running for his life. There is the kicker with the crucial miss when you could least afford it. Then there is the obligatory roughing the passer penalty that seems to come up at the worst possible time. We have petulant sulking players not suiting up for games.
We saw all these same things last Sunday in Seattle just as we have seen them time and time again. How many times have we watched a pass slip through the hands of James McKnight, Mike Wallace and now Kenny Stills? Do we remember Dan Carpenter missing too many field goals and being run out of town? Or the drafting of Caleb Sturgis who did no better? Now we have Franks who seems to miss when they matter most. Did the ghost of Joe Philbin appear on the sideline to call that mysterious timeout when the Seahawks were faced with a crucial fourth down and the play clock about to expire? Did Olivier Vernon suddenly channel into Cam Wake who then committed one of the dumbest roughing the passer penalties Hulk ever saw? Is Jay Ajayi the next version of Jonathan Martin minus the lunch tray, not suiting up because he is too busy sulking?
What make Hulk angry is that this year was supposed to be different. This year we got the most sought after coaching candidate. This year he was supposed to turn the offense around. This year we were supposed to see the difference good coaching makes and get rid of the stink of the Wanstedt, Cameron, Sporano and Philbin taint that has fouled our franchise. However, so far Hulk see nothing different and this make Hulk wonder when will this story end?