PIGGY, PSYCHIC GPS AND COLONPOKEY ARE STILL IN THE PRISON CELL 500 FEET ABOVE THE GROUND. COLONPOKEY IS IN A BED IN THE BACK OF THE CELL ROLLING AROUND IN PAIN

Colonpokey: Ow….Oooh…Ow…..Ouch….it hurts.

The Flying Pig: (to Psychic GPS) I’m not sure I can take any more of his whining.

Psychic GPS: Hey Colonpokey can you keep it down? Piggy is about to jump out the window

Colonpokey: They whipped me! Ow…. ooooh ….. Ow….Ouch….Piggy is going to jump out the window and fly???

The Flying Pig: No you stupid rodent. I’m going to off myself if I have to listen to you any longer. I can’t fly…remember?

Colonpokey: Oh yeah I remember…heehee, you are such a fatty…and you’re blind too!

The Flying Pig: Yes (putting his head in his trotters) and I am blind too

Psychic GPS: Okay guys we need to come up with a plan…

The Flying Pig: It’s useless. I’m a blind fat pig…SNORT

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: All hope is not lost

Psychic GPS: Did you hear that? (looking around the cell)

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: Over here. I said, all hope is not lost

Psychic GPS: I don’t believe it. It speaks. The statue speaks!

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: I am the all-powerful bust of Lionel Ritchie. Thank you for creating me Piggy.

The Flying Pig: You have powers? What are your powers, great bust? Hah Hah. I said Great Bust!

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: I have the power to create cheesy songs that stick in your head. I also have the power to create brain dead children with no talent

Psychic GPS: Okay…that is not very helpful. You did say all hope is not lost didn’t you?

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: And I have the power to restore sight. Piggy – SEE AGAIN – by the power given to me by Casey Kasem – I restore your sight. Now keep reaching for the stars.

A CLOUD OF MAGICAL DUST SURROUNDS PIGGY

The Flying Pig: I can see again! I can see again! Ewww…Lionel Ritchie is ugly…but what an amazing power

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: Thank you. It is a gift

The Flying Pig: Can you help me fly?

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: Um, no… restoring sight is different for me. It is…it’s…it’s…

Psychic GPS: Easy?

Colonpokey: Like Sunday morning?…heehee (Piggy and Psychic GPS laugh too)

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: Yes. It’s easy for me

The Flying Pig: So are you going to just hang out here with us in the cell?

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: I guess…

The Flying Pig: All night long? (laughing)

Colonpokey: Heehee…by the end of the night he will be Dancing on the Ceiling

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: Okay, Okay, I see where you guys are going with this…very funny…everyone does it. It really gets old fast

The Flying Pig: Yeah, I can see how that is annoying

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: Yes. It’s annoying

The Flying Pig: Its annoying… say you, say me

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: Enough!

The Flying Pig: Come on, let’s say it together…naturally

Psychic GPS: Come on Piggy grow up. You owe the statue a little something. He restored your sight.

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: Thank you GPS

Psychic GPS: Of course Mr. Ritchie. You know in a way, Piggy doesn;t just owe you he is..eh, (trying not to laugh) Stuck on You…

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: Dammit!

Psychic GPS: (electronically singing) I got this feeling deep downin my soul that I just can’t lose. Guess I’m on my way…

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: That is it. If you don’t stop, you will feel my wrath!

The Flying Pig: …oh….Truly?

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: Yes Truly!…No wait…

PIGGY, COLONPOKEY AND PSYCHIC GPS ARE ALL LAUGHING

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: Not Truly! That is it! Now you will feel my wrath!

PSYCHIC GPS STARTS TO SHAKE VIOLENTLY

Psychic GPS: Electronic Ouch!

Colonpokey: What is it? Did he lash you?

Psychic GPS: No of course not…something is coming in…I’m getting something…Its forcing me to say ——–I have olive skin, so if I get pale, I look green. I have to tan

The Flying Pig: What?

Psychic GPS: I don’t know it just came out…its burning my network. I have to say it. I have something else to say.

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: (deep maniacal laugh) The tweets of my idiot daughter are being sent to your internet connected friend. Painful isn’t it.

Psychic GPS: Yes! Make it stop! Please! I feel more coming—I went to the University of Arizona. I stopped because I went there for two years and I felt like I experienced college or whatever. I’m over it. I like Hollywood better

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: Feel my wrath! HAH HAH HAH

Colonpokey: (on his knees) Its hurting my ears. She is so stupid! Please make it stop!

The Flying Pig: (falling to his knees) I feel dumber. I can actually feel my brain cells being killed every time a tweet is spoken

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: (laughing) You messed with the wrong statue. My idiot daughter’s tweets will continue to be sent to Psychic GPS forever!

The Flying Pig: Nooooooooooooooooooooo

Psychic GPS: I’ve just gone through so much in my life that pulling my top up just doesn’t seem like that big a deal

Colonpokey: Enough. I can’t take it

COLONPOKEY GRABS THE LIONEL RITCHIE STATUE AND THROWS IT OUT OF THE WINDOW

Colonpokey: Out you chart topping heathen!

The Lionel Ritchie Statue: (while falling) Avenge me Casey Kasem. Avenge me! (fading away into the distance)

Psychic GPS: I’m free!

The Flying Pig: Well that was fun while it lasted. But what now? Is still can’t fly. We are stuck here.

Colonpokey: Piggy I’m sick of hearing you feel sorry for yourself. (grabbing Piggy by the shoulders) You had the greatest title in the whole world babe! You lost your flight for all the reasons. You lost your edge! Now when you used to fly, (shaking his head) you had the eye of the piggy, the edge. And now you have to get it back. And the way to get it back is to go back to the beginning…ya-know what-I-mean. Heehee…Maybe we can teach you to fly together…(whispering) EYE OF THE PIGGY, BABE, EYE OF THE PIGGY

Psychic GPS: Does anyone else hear a guitar in the background?

Morgan Freeman’s Singing Voiceover: Risin’ up, back in the barn. Did my time, took my chances. Went the distance. Now I’m back on my trotters. Just a pig and his will to fly.

Morgan Freeman’s Singing Voiceover: So many times, it happens too fast. You trade your passion for glory. Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past. You must fight just to keep them alive

Morgan Freeman’s Singing Voiceover: It’s the eye of the piggy. It’s the thrill of the flight risin’ up to the challenge of our rival. And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night. And he’s watching us all with the Eeeeeeeeeye of the Piggy.

Psychic GPS: Chase the chicken Piggy!

PSYCHIC GPS THROWS A CHICKEN ON THE FLOOR. PIGGY CHASES THE CHICKEN FROM ONE END OF THE CELL TO THE OTHER END OF THE CELL…BUT HE CAN’T CATCH IT

The Flying Pig: Mick – the chicken is too fast!

Psychic GPS: If you want to fly you have to catch the chicken Piggy…and who the fuck is Mick?

Colonpokey: Get em’ Piggy!

Psychic GPS: Piggy…you’re gonna eat lighting, you’re gonna crap thunder

The Flying Pig: ehhh…gross

THE CHICKEN IS NOW CHASING PIGGY TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CELL

The Flying Pig: SQUEEEEAAAAAAAAAL! (Running from the chicken)

Colonpokey: Heehee. Looks like the chicken got the best of Piggy

Morgan Freeman’s Singing Voiceover: Face to face, out in the heat. Hangin’ tough, stayin’ hungry. They stack the odds still we take to the farm for the kill with the skill to fly

Morgan Freeman’s Singing Voiceover: It’s the eye of the piggy. It’s the thrill of the flight risin’ up to the challenge of our rival. And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night. And he’s watching us all with the Eeeeeeeeeye of the Piggy.

Random Announcer: In the blue corner weighing 80 pounds

The Flying Pig: (interrupting the announcer) pssst….I’m down to 74 pounds now

Random Announcer: (to Piggy) okay then. (Announcing) Weighing 74 pounds, out of a little barn outside of Davie, Florida, the Pig you all Dig, the Bacon who is never Faking, the Pork from Ork…Piggy Bacon!

A CROWD CHEERS AND PIGGY AIR PUNCHES TO SHOW OFF

Morgan Freeman’s Singing Voiceover: Risin’ up straight to the top. Had the guts, got the glory. Went the distance. Now I’m not gonna stop. Just a pig and his will to fly.

Morgan Freeman’s Singing Voiceover: It’s the eye of the piggy. It’s the thrill of the fight risin’ up to the challenge of our rival. And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night. And he’s watching us all with the Eeeeeeeeeye of the Piggy

Colonpokey: Piggy…King Belicheat is gonna bust you up!

The Flying Pig: Go for it (puffing his chest out)

Psychic GPS: Piggy…Piggy…What is your prediction for the flight?

The Flying Pig: My prediction?………………………………(long uncomfortable pause then a close up on Piggy’s face)…………PAIN!

Morgan Freeman’s Singing Voiceover: The eye of the piggy. The eye of the piggy (fading away) The eye of the piggy. The eye of the piggy

Psychic GPS: Piggy. You are ready

Colonpokey: Let’s fly out of this place! (jumping on Piggy’s back)

WITH COLONPOKEY ON HIS BACK PIGGY GRABS PSYCHIC GPS AND TAKES A LEAP OF FAITH OUT OF THE PRISON CELL WINDOW

The Flying Pig: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…Suck it New England!

Morgan Freeman’s Voiceover: And they flew around the palace laughing at all the guards below. Colonpokey even flung pellets at them. Piggy was flying high again…but he still looks a fat little pig to me