Welcome to Ask Mike – Week 6




From Tim


Q1 – What rookie WR helps the Dolphins become better in 2013, and for years to come?


Q2 – If David was a real catfish, would he make it to China and back without being eaten?


1)  I think there are a number of WR’s that could help our team now, and in years to come. If I’m reading into your question properly though, I’d say you mean which WR would make the most impact THIS YEAR, as well as years from now. Much to your delight, Keenan Allen would probably be the WR that would make the most difference this year, because he is already the most NFL ready WR, the most polished route runner. That being said, I think any of the dynamic players could make a splash this year, in a different way. Not to say that Allen can’t make big plays, but Cordarrelle Patterson just seems to have “big play” written all over him. Deandre Hopkins looks like a red zone target receiver, and lord knows we could use one of those. Quinton Patton looks like a pro ready receiver, very strong kid who is working his way into 1st RD consideration. Stedman Bailey is another WR who is a disciplined route runner, and can likely be had later in the draft than the others mentioned.


I think the most important thing to get this answer right, is to see how we address the position if FA. If we were to sign Greg Jennings, then I think it’s OK to draft a guy who will help us a little less this year, but has a higher ceiling and more potential. If we don’t pick up a WR, then I’d have to say Keenan Allen would be the guy, otherwise, if Jennings is here, I like Patterson.


Catfish – I’m  thinking it would be a nearly impossible journey for a catfish to make it to China. With a distance of approximately 7000 miles from Florida to Fushun, and taking into account that catfish are found in freshwater habitats, I don’t see how it would navigate the saltwater oceans it would need to in order to get to China.  If someone were to smuggle the catfish on board a plane, in a freshwater tank, that would increase the chances of the catfish successfully arriving in China. I would think however, the catfish would likely arrive dead, and end up being that particular evenings dinner.  Catfish have a life expectancy between 8-20 years, but again, being the fact that catfish are freshwater fish, the obstacle of swimming through the ocean makes it a NO CAN DO.



From Derek


Q – Let’s pretend Miami makes a turnaround next year in wins – With 7-9 in the rear-view mirror for the 1st time in a while, at what point has Miami made enough of an improvement to strip doubt and negativity enough to feel very positive the “not so distant” future may hold more success, and dare to say . . . even a Championship?


A.  9-7, 2nd place AFC East, Wild Card slip in

B.  10-6, 2nd place AFC East, Wild Card

C.  11-5, AFC East Champs

D.  12-4, AFC East Champs, 1st RD Bye

E.  Are you crazy motherfucker??? I’d be happy with a Wild card loss and a MNF game or two.


The way I see it Derek, an improvement in our record will show progress, but of course, it’s also how we arrive at that record, and how we upgraded the team in free agency and the draft. I think that’s the lynch-pin. I think we need to feel that we have truly improved our team personnel, and see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think 7-9 or 8-8 spells big trouble for our GM, and rightly so. I know, I know, pick a fucking answer you fuck! I say B. If we slip into the playoffs late, and lose the Wild Card playoff game, there could be plenty of doubt. Going 10-6, and losing a hard fought WC playoff game would be much more palatable for the fan base, and would strip away enough doubt that we have turned the corner, but a WC playoff win would eradicate almost all doubt IMO.



From Randy


Q – It appears that teams have to score somewhere around 30 points a game to be truly competitive in today’s NFL (I believe we ranked 27th in scoring at 18 PPG). If that’s the case, what’s the one thing you think this team could do to significantly increase their scoring output?


I don’t think there is just one player that could make a significant difference, so I’ll take that as what will it take to make it happen. In Free Agency, I would sign WR Greg Jennings. I would also try to sign OG Andy Levitre. My assumption is that after a full offseason of workouts, practice, and pre-season football, that Jon Martin will be ready to play and start at LT. I don’t know if our coaches agree with this or not, but let’s assume they don’t. I don’t think there will be a FA upgrade available to us, because teams don’t usually let their best option at LT leave. Now maybe my thinking is flawed, but if we DON’T re-sign Jake Long, that says two things to me. It says Long is not our best LT. It also says the team has plans of making Martin their LT, OR, they have targeted at least 2 guys in the draft that they think will be an upgrade at LT, and Martin will remain at RT. I’d be surprised if the answer is in the draft, but I have been wrong before. Shoring up the O-line is very important, and if Martin is truly improved at LT, and we add Levitre, and then Pouncey is our C, with a competition between Incognito and Jerry at RG, and then possibly we draft a RT, or even move John Jerry to RT. Once the O-line is settled, and we must have better O-line play, we need to give Tannehill someone to throw to. Jennings is a true pro, and I think will have a positive benefit both on and off the field for Tannehill’s learning process. There just has to be that guy you can count on to get open, and be in the right place, exactly where you expect him to be, and I believe Jennings is that WR, and of course, this is predicated on him being healthy. I’d love to add at least one more WR, and I would draft one as early as the 1st pick in the 2nd RD. We need high talent players, who can do things our current WR corp can’t do. Turn nothing into something. Patterson would be ideal, and if the FO was convinced he’s worth it at #12, I would not object. I think #12 likely goes to a DE, OT, or possibly even a CB. Part of scoring is getting more possessions, and we have been putrid in that regard. We simply don’t force turnovers, and it’s a must in the NFL. A CB who takes away the ball would be just as important as a pass rusher. Both can cause turnovers, so whichever player is available to us at #12 that does it best, is our guy. A TE who is a real receiving threat would be great, but in a way, it’s a luxury pick, and we may even have that player in Egnew. We need a pass rusher and at least 2 CB’s in my mind, and depending on what happens with Chris Clemons, if we re-sign him or not, we may need a S. Now some people think Vernon could be the DE we need, and he may be, but you can’t have too many pass rushers. I think either #12, or one of the 2nd RD picks will be a pass rushing DE. Stopping teams from scoring, and taking the ball away, and giving your offense more opportunities to score, and having the talent to score in our own right is the formula to putting more points on the board.



From Martin P.


Q – Do you think Jeff Fuller will make the roster next year? What are the chances of adding the other Aggie WR, Ryan Swopes, and winding up with 3 former A&M WR’s?


I like Jeff Fuller, but in all honesty, if he makes the roster, we did a crappy job of fixing the problem we have at WR. I don’t think it’s necessary in any way to bring in former teammates of Tanny’s, unless they are better players we can find elsewhere. I think Tannehill would be quite comfortable throwing a 10 yard slant pattern to Cordarrelle Patterson and watching him go 60 yards for a TD, or throw a deep out to Greg Jennings, and and know that if he puts the ball where it’s supposed to be, Jennings will be there to make the catch. Swopes is a possibility, but I would scream if he was the 1st WR taken by us, and even taking into consideration that we DID sign Jennings. I love Jennings, but I’m worried that he might not make it through the entire year, and I think we need more talent regardless. Swopes is likely a mid round pick, so I think he has a chance to be the 2nd WR we take, but Fuller will be gone, assuming we sign Jennings, bring back Hartline, and then bring in 2 WR’s in the draft, one a high pick. I don’t see Fuller surviving, and it’s possible, depending upon what RD Swopes is drafted, if it’s the 4th RD or later, that HE may not make the roster. Say we have Jennings, Hartline, (Pick your Samurai)(For you Piggy!) :), Bess, Matthews, Moore, Swopes, Fuller to compete for what might be 5 or 6 spots, I don’t see either having an easy time making the 53.



From Stanger


Q – Assume that the crew for the first year-long mission to Mars was jetssuck, David, Gigi and Jahn.


How would the trip go? Particularly, would the spaceship make it to the red planet, and if so, who would be alive?


I had to include this question, it’s funny as hell, without even an answer. I think it would make it there, but there might be attrition amongst the crew for sure. I have 2 questions of my own. Is there a bathroom aboard ship, do they wear diapers, or is there a dressing room for that? Do they have access to Miami Dolphins games? If they don’t have a bathroom, and there aren’t any diapers, I fear there will be a major conflict between jetssuck and David. If they have access to the Dolphins game, I fear that Jahn and Gigi may kill each other, especially if the Dolphins are losing. I could see Gigi losing it and going on an anti-Ireland tirade, which of course Jahn would defend Ireland, which in turn would have Gigi attempting to strangle Jahn, but if she couldn’t get underneath his spacesuit helmet, she would probably look to use the eject button, and send Jahn to “Lost in Space” status. Perhaps he would meet up with the Robinson’s, Mr. Smith, or Major West, or maybe even Robot. No offense, I know Gigi has a little Italian in her, and that’s where the temper comes from. Maybe it’s the Lebanese, not sure. G, do you have any Jewish in you? Would you like some? 😉


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