PIGGY AND PSYCHIC GPS ARE WATCHING TELEVISION

 

The Flying Pig: What do you want to watch?  (clicking the remote)

 

Psychic GPS:  I don’t care…anything but ESPN.  I’m so sick of this Incognito/Martin controversy!

 

The Flying Pig:  Me too.  But its everywhere, you would have to be living in a hole to miss it.

 

WEDGE WALKS INTO THE ROOM

 

Wedge: Finally done!

 

Psychic GPS:  Done with what?

 

Wedge: Um, guys I have something to tell you…something (whispering) you did not know about me…I’m an alien!

 

The Flying Pig:  Um…we knew that…you have an egg shaped head and green skin

 

 

Wedge: Long ago, I was sent to this World to study human relationships

 

Psychic GPS: Okay…and?

 

Wedge: I have been studying these relationships for over a year now.  Every ounce of energy has gone into my studies, for the last two weeks, I have put my thesis together.  I have done nothing but work on this thesis…haven’t seen any television or surfed the web or even gone on twitter…

 

The Flying Pig:  Well you aren’t missing much except this overdramatic media hyped….

 

Wedge: (interrupting Piggy) My thesis is going to save this planet!  You see if I present this thesis to my home planet and show them the unbreakable bond between teammates…They will see that and grow to admire this world.

 

Psychic GPS:  Unbreakable bond?

 

Wedge: Yeah!  I focussed on two Dolphins who are friends and teammates for my thesis

 

The Flying Pig:  Uh-oh

 

Wedge:  Two members of the offensive line

 

Psychic GPS:  Electronic Sigh

 

Wedge:  Jonathan Martin and Richie Incognito….what better example is there of teammates and friends!  What an unbreakable bond!

 

The Flying Pig:  Squeal!

 

The Psychic GPS:  Wedge, haven’t you heard?

 

Wedge:  Heard what?  I’ve been buried in my thesis the last two weeks.

 

PIGGY PUTS ESPN ON 

 

 

Wedge:  (falling to his knees) Noooooooooooooooooo.  It can’t be…They were my inspiration.  They were brothers and teammates!  Its not real…its a joke right?

 

The Flying Pig:  Sorry alien…its real…every Dolfan has been crushed…Squeal

 

Psychic GPS:  Electronic Cry

 

Wedge:  but but but…they were going to save this world.  (Wedge picks up a guitar)

 

Wedge:  (Singing)  The world has turned and left me here

 

Just where I was before they appeared

 

And in your place an empty space

 

The Dolphins filled the void behind my face

 

 

Wedge:  (singing) You both did a shitty job protecting the Tannehill

 

One thousand times he’s been sacked

 

You said you were friends and a functional team

 

You remain, turned away

 

Turning further everyday

 

Wedge:  (singing) The world has turned and left me here

 

Just where I was before you appeared

 

And in your place an empty space

 

The Dolphins filled the void behind my face

 

 

Wedge:  (singing)  We trained for hours during training camp

 

We ran, we lifted we worked out

 

You laughed enchanted by my alien intellect

 

Or maybe you didn’t

 

 

Wedge:  (singing)  You remain, turned away

 

Turning further everyday

 

The world has turned and left me here

 

Just where I was before you appeared

 

And in your place an empty space

 

The Dolphins no longer fill the void behind my face

 

You remain, turned away

 

Turning further everyday

 

 

Wedge:  (signing) The world has turned and left me here

 

Just where I was before you appeared

 

And in your place an empty space

 

There is an empty void behind my face

 

 

Psychic GPS:  Cheer up Wedge…there is still a game on Monday night

 

Wedge:  (crying)  we are doomed!

 

The Flying Pig:  Come on guys (laughing)  we should go enjoy a game…we still have a game to watch

 

Psychic GPS:  Electronic Laugh.  Yeah hah hah…there is a game to enjoy

 

Wedge:  (wiping away his tears)  Okay…hah hah…lets go to the game

 

THEY ALL BEGIN TO LAUGH OUT LOUD UNCOMFORTABLY 

 

The Flying Pig:  Okay (laughing)  Lets go you big weirdo!

 

THE ROOM SUDDENLY GETS QUIET

 

The Flying Pig:  What….

 

 

(youtube clip – Weezer the World has turned)