When I was a young tadpole I knew nothing about Earth. We didn’t really care much for this side of the Universe. Until one day when I received a strange transmission. It was a commercial for the NFL’s Greatest hits on BETA! after I was finished laughing about the format of the video I began to watch the hitting. These guys were killing each other – it was amazing. I fell in love with Earth at that moment. Where else can you drive your shoulder into another lifeform until he hits the ground to demonstrate great technique?
You can imagine how disappointed I was when I came to this planet and learned that the game had changed to a Tom Brady-Friendly game, where defensive players were penalized if they did anything else but target another players knees on a hit. So when I was assigned to research how to destroy the Earth – I was overcome with joy! If there is no more violence in football, I’m going to make some violence of my own. But you know what, lately I’m having a crisis of conscious. You know why? Because Denzel Perryman will knock your head off that’s why! Now shut your bitchy human mouth and accept your pain! This guy can hit!!!
Perryman is a 6’0, 235 lbs Linebacker out of Miami, the real Miami not the one in Ohio. Undersized? I don’t think so, he has a great stout frame and he uses it to hammer away at ball carriers. Its something else to watch a guy with that U on his helmet wearing the number 52 and thumping people. Reminds me of Ray Lewis. Perryman has a long way to live up to Lewis’ career but if he stays healthy and physical he can be a pro bowl caliber Middle Linebacker.
So is it all just thumping ball carriers? In this day and age NFL scouts want their Inside Linebackers to cover. Perryman can do that too. He is a versatile Linebacker, not a 2 down guy. He should be able to run with most backs and tight ends in the NFL.
In four years in Miami, Perryman had 2 Interceptions and 4.5 sacks. But the real impressive stats are his 7 forces fumbles and 343 tackles. That’s a middle linebacker!!!
Perryman is expected to be drafted anywhere between the late first round to the late 2nd round. It will be interesting to see if his combine numbers cause him to fall. He is not exactly a great athlete with jaw dropping combine numbers.
But it’s not Perryman’s athleticism that is going to save the Earth. Its his hitting. If Perryman was an Alien Weapon of Destruction he would be the Great Hammer of the Alien Diety Haumea.
Watch Perryman hammer some guys in this clip!