The Porcine Oddyssey #99: Bills @ Dolphins, The Face of Poultry Vengeance
A Family of Bills fans gathers around a television set.
Bills Papa: Come on kids its almost on.
Bills Son: Its great that we are all here except for Mama.
Bills Papa: Well we had to sell her organs to make a little money, rest her soul…
Bills Daughter: Shut up, its about to start!
Bills Papa: Cooking with Buffalo Sauce is the best show ever.
Bills Son: Yep…Buffalo wings, Buffalo Sandwich, Buffalo Pie, Buffalo Soup…
Bills Daughter: Shhhh…I didn’t take time off from the massage parlor to hear you two talk!
On the TV Set a chef stands in front a kitchen.
The Chef: Today we are making a classic..Buffalo Wings! For this recipe you will need cayenne pepper, butter, white wine vinegar, garlic salt, foot powder, and of course chicken.
Bills Son: Did he say foot powder?
Bills Papa: Yeah…um…foot powder…
Bills Son: But that isn’t in the traditional recipe
Bills Papa: Well son, things have changed since Rex Ryan is here in Buffalo. Look at what we did to the logo!
Bills Son: I guess so.
Bills Daughter: Shhhhh….I took time off work to watch this…I could be making a $4 tip giving a happy ending instead!
The Chef: Take the garlic salt, cayenne pepper, foot powder and the vinegar and put it in the mixing bowl…then get your chick…hey where is the chicken….
The Camera Zooms in
The Chef: Come a little closer
The Camera Zooms a little more in
The Chef: A little more
The Camera Zooms closer
The Chef: I have a message for Buffalo…you are all going to lose…look deep into the face of the poultry who is going to do it…well okay, it won’t be a chicken who beats you…
IT WILL BE THE DOLPHINS!!!
Flames begin to cover the set of the cooking show.
The Chef: I will just burn you all! For the Chickens!!!
Flames surround the home of the Buffalo Family
The Chef: Hah Hah Hah Hah (laughing hysterically) Cameron Wake will sack Tryod Taylor
The Chef: Olivier Vernon will sack Tyrod Taylor
The Chef: Then Jordan Phillips! Then SUH!
The House Burns Down
On that Day:
Many Bills Fans Died
Many Chickens Lived Another Day
Many Feet Were Coveted
AND THE DOLPHINS DOMINATED THE BILLS