By Dr. Bruce Banner
So Hulk know that Phins not going anywhere this season. He know that even if Phins manage a few upsets here and there that it won’t mean anything in terms of playoffs. Hulk has said he done being angry about team. Nothing they can do will cause Hulk to rampage anymore. So Hulk sit down to watch Jets host Phins and then something happen during game. Hulk watch Phins squander early good field position. Then Hulk see key turnover squander another scoring opportunity. Then Hulk watch a journeyman QB better known for his scruffy beard than any NFL skill set he may possess start to carve through Phins D like it was wet dishtowel. Then Hulk watch Phin reject Brandon Marshal repeatedly school Phins best defensive back like he was an over the hill has been with nothing left in the tank. Then Hulk watch offensive line fail to get any push in run game. Then Hulk watch repeated low snaps from backup center. Then Hulk watch coaching staff not make adjustments to help backup center such as play more under center. Then Hulk watch D give up more 3rd and long conversions. Then Hulk watch when offense finally score then D turn around and give up long drive ending any hope of comeback.
As Hulk sit there and watch all that and Hulk notice a familiar feeling. He began to sweat, he breath harder, he feel pressure in head, he start to pound fist, he yell, he scream and then yes Hulk get angry! Hulk get angry at piss poor performance yet again against hated division rival. Hulk get angry at uninspired performance when all Hulk wanted to see if for Phins to show some pride. But these Phins have no pride. They no play with urgency. They flat out suck. There is nothing else to say.
Now Hulk want to know why Phins suck. Is the QB who everyone want to blame? Is it the offensive line whose play was truly offensive? Was is it Suh who supposedly made everything different now that he is here? Is it the Front Office who put this piece of you know what on the field? The problem is the answer is yes to all of the above and Hulk know that and that is what makes Hulk mad that he know this team is hopeless and yet he got suckered into caring about these Phins once again. It’s like Brokeback Hulk “I can’t quit you” bad. Why can’t Hulk quit this bunch of losers? What is it that makes Hulk keep coming back for more punishment? Is Steve Ross some kind of Marquis De Sade who can inflict punishment on Hulk over and over again? Hulk now get ready for more punishment next week. Ugh! Hulk Smash!