Well if you don’t know La’el Collins signed with the Cowboys. Also you missed an entire year of life.
That said. I enjoyed writing this Oddyssey even though it didn’t work out for us.
Enjoy the flashback
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THE PORCINE ODDYSSEY #93:
Three Steps to Acquiring La’el Collins
I know what you are thinking: How can the Dolphins acquire La’el Collins? Well rest your heavy human heads, I’ve mapped out a three step process.
This is a sure way to make sure the Dolphins acquire La’el Collins.
STEP 1: VOLUNTEER
Baton Rouge Police Investigation taking too long? Of course it is! The Dolphins play a meaningful game in four months. We got no time for investigations.
Don’t blame the BRPD. Get Involved! Pitch in. Hey Baton Rouge, I can help you with your investigation. Let me help. You look exhausted. Don’t worry about compiling evidence. I got this! Now I’m not suggesting that there is any evidence that can be used against Collins. I’m suggesting that I don’t care – because football!
Offer the police a viable alternative. Now you may be thinking to yourself “Piggy are you saying we should frame some one innocent?” Well think about this. “Frame” is an ugly word. Stop judging me. It makes you look like a jerk.
I bet you know some one with a guilty look. I can think of some one that has it coming.
STEP 2: PAY HIM
There is some sort of restrictions about paying undrafted rookies. Blah Blah Blah. Who cares! This guy went to LSU and he is expecting to get paid no matter what the rules say. So you have to up the ante. You can’t just give him cars and stuff, he is used to that. We got that Dion Jordan waived money now! Hey La’el, how did Dion Jordan’s money end up in your lap? I’m gonna walk away now.
Collins is probably going to want more than that. Well, remember La’el there is no State Tax in Florida. Not impressed? Let’s talk about taxes at a strip club. Dear Mr. Ross, this is a perfect time to show Dolfans you want to win and loan me your credit card.
STEP 3: EMPHASIZE MIAMI PERKS
You already know there is no State Tax in Florida because I mentioned it a half a dozen times. Miami has a bunch of other perks though. First of all, you can leave your garbage anywhere you like and our coach will pick it up for you.
Second, we have lots of drugs and hookers and they are easy to find because they are usually together.
Third, Miami is full of beautiful scenery. Sure you can buy that duplex next to a sewage facility in Buffalo. But in Miami you have great weather all year round, no matter where you live. Instead of snow, there is an ocean and its filled with water which isn’t frozen. What else? What else? Oh I don’t know…Miami just makes me smile for some reason.
So there you have it. Apply these three steps and La’el Collins is ours. Unless he really did something illegal. Then let the Patriots have him…
Finsmob Unleashed 
One more try!
What am I watching?
Me playin in a mudd hole
LOL @ Wyo
It seems like this could be a real possibility. We’d likely release Jennings and give that money to Matthews. We’d have a strong 4 WR corps.
http://www.thephinsider.com/2016/2/21/11081668/dolphins-looking-to-re-sign-rishard-matthews
That sounds like a great idea to me!!!!!!!!
Yeah we could rotate a quality 4 and RT goes to the open man. Matthews was really good in the middle of the field making tough catches. Landry does what he does, Parker showed both outside and inside skills and Stills is more of a perimeter player.
I hope RT and Parker work on fade routes quite a bit this offseason, Parker is tailor made for that route.
Jarvis Landry 110-165 1,157 10.5 4TD 50LG 10-20+
Rishard Matthews 43-61 662 15.4 4TD 53LG 10-20+
DeVante Parker 26-51 494 19.0 3TD 49LG 9-20+
Kenny Stills 27 -63 440 16.3 3TD 47LG 10-20+
Can’t hit deep passes! Nah, I love that 4 man core right there.
They all got 9 or 10 for 20+
YAC isnt a problem with this corps…
Bet it would have been much more had Mathews and Parker not been limited.
and we all remember that 50LG from Landry
WERE GOOD!
All we need now is for Gase to scheme them open a lot more than they were last yr.
Tim, on Matthews, this is the kind of situation I’ve talked about often on here. I’d tell Matthews you surely could get a bigger $$ contract elsewhere, but your chances of make more money here are greater. He fits in with RT, he’s an established Dolphin, so his chances of having a longer career by staying with the Dolphins is greater. Do you really want to go to another team, learn a new offense, that you might not be best suited for?
I hope we have someone in the organization that can talk to Matthews and tell him how much he’s needed, it worked for the Panthers when Cam said that to Oher.
If Matthews goes back and looks at Ryan Tannehill interviews during the season he’d feel appreciated. Whenever people would fawn over what Parker would do during a game, Ryan would be quick to say Rushard brought the same ability. He’d credit Parker, but made sure to keep Matthews name in the conversation. I also think Tannenbaum before & after drafting Parker kept talking Rishard up publicly.
wyoming
looks like fun. i would post a vid of me playing in a mud hole but i dont want to make piggy jealous and censor me.
I’ll post it for you😂
WTF?!!!!
Joe Marino @TheJoeMarino 36m36 minutes ago
This cut produced by @RoloEdits
shows Bama C Ryan Kelly’s ability to create running lanes & set proper pocket depth:
http://draftbreakdown.com/video/cam-robinson-vs-auburn-2015/ …
Like I’ve said earlier, RT is Matthews best chance for staying here. I think RT has a real good chemistry with him, and that should mean something
Sell him on you’re one of 4 and we play 3 a lot so you’re going to play a lot. My guess is Gase liked what he saw in Matthews or this wouldn’t even be a topic.
Sure, and he also might be listening to his QB
Yuck D-Bolt!
Eat good tonight fellas😂
Mike, good point on listening to his QB.
My guess is the inside of a Pig Vagina.
Lets check with Piggy and see if I’m correct
81Howie says:
February 21, 2016 at 7:28 pm
My guess is the inside of a Pig Vagina.
damn and here i just thought that was what it is like to drive into new jersey
The 2014 season was the yr of the YAC, the playoff games I saw seemed to be won by the team that had the most yards after catch. Matthews excels in YAC, he must be resigned, but not at the expense of over $6 mil.
They better resign him, I don’t want to change my Avie 😛
James McKinney @ConchPhinsFan 59m59 minutes ago
Miami Dolphins 2016 NFL Draft: Under the Radar Prospects http://fb.me/4mh9NjFrt
8: R1P8
OLB MYLES JACK
UCLA
42: R2P11
ILB KENTRELL BROTHERS
MISSOURI
73: R3P10
OLB SCOOBY WRIGHT
ARIZONA
108: R4P9
G JOSHUA GARNETT
STANFORD
147: R5P8
TE TYLER HIGBEE
WESTERN KENTUCKY
189: R6P11
CB MORGAN BURNS
KANSAS STATE
225: R7P6
S CLAYTON FEJEDEIEM
ILLINOIS
229: R7P10
DE DREW OTT
IOWA
I went LB crazy
And still got Garnett!!!
Woop woop