A Piggy Flight

A Sonny Porcine Oddyssey

by son of a son of a shula

I was sitting out on my porch and heard some noise over by the compost pile so I decided to go take a look and what do I find – A pig and not just any old pig it was our Piggy the Flying Pig. He said he would have knocked but the compost smelled too good and he couldn’t resist. Piggy stopped by to talk football and what not.

Son: Piggy is that you, what the hell are you doing here in my compost pile?

Piggs: Sorry it smelled too good out here.

Son: Do you have to roll it all – all over the yard

FP: Oink

Son: Piggs, that sure was a tough loss on Sunday wasn’t it?

Flying Pig: It sure was, my trotters are sore from pounding on the table.

Son: I know it, I broke three beer bottles firing them at the wall.

FP: Son tell me are we doomed? Will the Dolphins always suck? …and by the way are you going to eat that banana peel?

Son: No Piggs I’m not going to eat the banana peel that’s why I threw it in the compost pile, go ahead enjoy it. You can have that cantaloupe rind too if you want.

FP: (wiping all manner of stuff from his chin) Thanks son.

Son: No problem Piggs any trash of mine is always a meal for you my friend. And the answer to your question is – No. Well at least that’s what I thought a couple of weeks ago.

FP: (face full of mess and grunting) What?

Son: Nevermind.

FP: no I don’t mind. (snorting, farting, eating)

Son: Say piggs there’s a few apple cores and some watermelon rind over there why don’t you finish those up and then come over to the porch so we can talk.

FP: Oink

Piggs finally gets his fill of son’s compost and heads over to son who’s waiting on the porch with some beers.

Son: Hey, there you are Piggy, did you get enough?

FP: Buuuuuuuuuuuuurp – I think so

Son: (muttering under his breath) You ate like a pig I hope so.

FP: What was that son?

Son: I said you ate that fig over there also.

FP: Buuuuuuurp – yup

FP: I wanted to take you for a flight to give you an exclusive look at the newly renovated stadium before the regular crowd gets to see it this weekend.

Son: Wow really you want to take me on a Piggy flight? Ok sure.

Flying Pig: Get on son and let me show you around

Son: (singing) Weeeeeeeeee I’m going on a Piggy flight, I’m going on a Piggy flight…What’s this,  Do I have a gear shift?1137773-Clipart-Of-A-Retro-Vintage-Black-And-White-Boy-Riding-A-Pig-Backwards-Royalty-Free-Vector-Illustration

FP: Son… SON…(yelling) SON

Son: Huh – what?

FP: That’s my squiggly so can you please let go, now turn around so we can go

Son: Oh sure, sorry my bad. Never been on a pig before.

So there we are the Flying Pig and Son heading to tour the newly renovated Sun Life stadium and to talk football.

(In Flight)

Son: Piggy the most amazing thing happened last weekend in football…

FP: That the Raiders, Browns, Redskins and Jags all won?

Son: Nope

FP: That DeMarco Murry only had 2 yards on 13 carries?

Son: Nope

FP: That Peyton Manning reached 70,000 yards in career passing?

Son: Nope, let me tell you

FP: That the Colts look worse than your compost pile?

Son: No, that Jared Odrick actually made a play.

FP: That is amazing, he never did that in 5 years in Miami.

Son: I know it figures he’d do it against the Dolphins and not for them.

FP: All we needed was one of those Tony Romo type 30 second up the field drives to kick a field goal and tie the game.

Son: I know, did you see on the last play 4th and whatever it was that NOBODY covered Landry?

FP: Don’t even get me started…

Son: Tannehill didn’t even look at him, he threw it into coverage and incomplete on the other side of the field

FP: Tannehill doesn’t …. WHOA

Son: What the hell was that?

FP: Its OK Son I like to fly in close to those flocks of birds and then watch this (Piggy unloads a massive fart on the birds)

Son: Whoa look at them scatter. Ewwwwww that smells (Son holds his nose)

FP: Oink


FP: My job is done here.

Son: (still holding his nose) That’s pretty impressive!

FP: Well we’re making our approach we should be over Sun Life in just a couple of minutes.

Son: Cool, and at least the air has cleared a little

Piggy and Son enter Sun Life air space they do a circle around the stadium

FP: Here we are Son, the newly renovated Sun Life stadium

Son: whoopee

This sucks, I’m still too pissed off to enjoy it here. Maybe we’ll win Sunday and that will change. Hey piggs do you think you can crop dust the stadium as we head out?

FP: (Piggs thinks to himself, der of course you idiot I do that every time) Sure Son.

Piggs and Son head back to Oviedo

FP: So did you enjoy the flight?

Son: (Clothes smell like pig shit) Ummm yeah I did it was fun, kind of smelly though

Just as Piggy gets over Son’s back yard he applies his air brakes and Son is sent sailing over piggy and he lands right in the middle of the compost pile.

Son: (covered in compost, stinking and waving) Bye Piggs


FP: Oink



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232 Responses to A Piggy Flight

  1. The Flying Pig says:

    What’s up oinkers
    Did everyone have a good day today?

  2. Tim Knight says:

    Boulder, you a skier?

  3. ocalahowie says:

    Told you and I got chastised here once for almost the same thing Rexy is saying
    I’ll say it again, two years later.
    Philbin on the side line with the Dumbfounded look on his face.

  4. ocalahowie says:

    Evening Update
    GDP 27-17 MIA
    N/A 27-17 BUF
    Howie 35-10 BUF
    Piggy 20-17 MIA
    Try 24-13 BUF
    Bold 27-10 BUF
    MikeE 17-6 MIA
    Real 33-13 BUF
    AL 31-13 MIA
    Stang 21-10 MIA
    Gigi28-15 BUF
    Cav 24-13 MIA
    UK 20-17 MIA
    Rock 34-17 BUF
    Herd 24-20 MIA
    Ken 23-14 MIA
    Tim 23-16 MIA
    GO PHINS!!!

  5. Tim Knight says:

    My guess as to why we traded Will Davis is although he had ballhawk tendencies they saw a guy who gambles too much and leaves himself open to big plays which is not how we want to play.

    That and we must want to invest more time in Taylor, Bo. McCain and Lippett.

  6. Brian in NY says:

    Our record at home during the Philbin era is 13-11. Not much of a home field advantage.

  7. finfanrob says:

    Tim Knight says:
    September 23, 2015 at 6:21 pm

    My guess as to why we traded Will Davis is although he had ballhawk tendencies they saw a guy who gambles too much and leaves himself open to big plays which is not how we want to play.

    lol, yep. just keep the guys that play safe and know how to lose slowly.

  8. finfanrob says:

    ok the hell with the fins, the nfl and college football. it is all about ncaa womens volleyball. not only can they play but damn much better to look at too

  9. BoulderPhinfan says:

    oh yea. Been a skier since I was 5 years old. Why do you ask?

  10. BoulderPhinfan says:

    I think the main reason wilson was traded is him not playing special teams. If you’re not top 3 CB on a team the only way you stick is if you can play special teams.

  11. finfanrob says:


    always loved the sport, when my knees worked playing in a lot of rec leagues and 2 man beach volleyball league with my brother.

    i am watching fsu vs miami now, some very talented players and pretty girls.

  12. ocalahowie says:

    And they are Lesbians too

  13. finfanrob says:

    ocalahowie says:
    September 23, 2015 at 8:14 pm

    And they are Lesbians too

    lol, you say that like some girls arent.

  14. finfanrob says:

    BoulderPhinfan says:
    September 23, 2015 at 8:15 pm

    its a great sport. Mentally tasking. specially 2 man beach volleyball.

    yeah it is. and that 2 man beach shit it rough. talk about something very taxing on you body.

  15. finfanrob says:

    Brian in NY says:
    September 23, 2015 at 6:28 pm

    I’m sure he’ll blossom in the Ravens D

    that sucks he has to become this

  16. Al in MIA says:

    Long day doing this cross country traveling.
    Jahn, if you are out there, sent you an email this morning but not sure you received it.

  17. Al in MIA says:

    With the comments on Incognito some of you posted earlier….this will always live in infamy. They should play it in SunLife just for all times sake on Sunday LOL

  18. ocalahowie says:

    Well then Darn
    I guess my wife is the only one
    You lucky Bastards!

  19. finfanrob says:

    Al in MIA says:
    September 23, 2015 at 9:25 pm

    Long day doing this cross country traveling.
    Jahn, if you are out there, sent you an email this morning but not sure you received it.


    if he didnt you can always just put your hands together and pray. rumor is he hears everyones prayers

  20. ocalahowie says:

    You know he’s gonna pick 6 us like 3 times and we’ll lose to the Ravens yet again 😦

  21. uwantwat says:

    No lollipops in here today I see. I have been busy over in my Aussie Rules site. Just had our best player leave us for another club. Bastiche! JS I’m doing really well health wise. Very happy.

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