A SPACESHIP HOVERS OVER THE EARTH. INSIDE THE SPACESHIP THE ALPHA ALIEN IS LOOKING OVER THE SHOULDER OF TWO ALIEN SCIENTISTS WHO ARE STANDING ON EACH SIDE OF A SMALL RODENT SIZE GURNEY WHICH IS COVERED WITH A BLANKET

Alpha Alien: Well (tapping one of his six feet impatiently) is it done yet? (he attempts to look under the sheet)

Alien Scientist #1: (pushing the Alpha Alien’s suction hands away) Um…not yet Great Devourer of Stars

Alien Scientist #2: …but we do have the technology…

Alpha Alien: Stop Saying that. I want my ultimate weapon and I want it now!

Alien Scientist #1: Yes, Great Comet Humper.

Alien Scientist #2: …right away…we have the technolo….

Alpha Alien: (interrupting) Don’t even say it!

BACK ON EARTH, PIGGY, MUSTACHIO, PSYCHIC GPS, WEDGE AND THE LITTLE PRAWN ARE ALL IN THE BARN TALKING TO ONE ANOTHER.

The Flying Pig: (screaming at GPS) No I don’t want to talk about it anymore!

Psychic GPS: But there are seven Piggy!

Wedge: And we only got through the first six. There are Seven Sam…

The Flying Pig: (covering Wedge’s mouth with his front left trotter) Don’t!

PIGGY LOOKS AROUND THE ROOM TO MAKE SURE NO NATURAL DISASTER HAS STRUCK THE BARN

Musatchio: Oh Piggy, my little prosciutto, Wedge was just going to say there is one more Sam…

The Flying Pig: (using his front right trotter to cover Mustachio’s mouth) Stop right there razor…stop right there…

PIGGY LOOKS AROUND THE ROOM AGAIN TO MAKE SURE NO NATURAL DISASTER HAS STRUCK THE BARN

Psychic GPS: Piggy! There is one more Sam…

The Flying Pig: (holding the mute button down on Psychic GPS with his left rear trotter and balancing on one his right rear trotter) Enough!

PIGGY LOOKS AROUND THE ROOM AGAIN TO MAKE SURE NO NATURAL DISASTER HAS STRUCK THE BARN

The Little Prawn: “……..”

The Flying Pig: No! (flapping his wings to hover above the ground and placing his right rear trotter over The Little Prawn’s mouth) We will not talk of them anymore. I am tired! Tired of speaking of those katana wielding warriors. Tired of experiencing floods, tornados and earthquakes. I’m just tired! Six is fine. We don’t need a seventh. I am going to bed now. No one here will talk of them! No one! I think I’ve earned one good night of sleep!

PIGGY TUCKS HIMSELF INTO HIS BED AND FALLS ASLEEP. PSYCHIC GPS, WEDGE, THE LITTLE PRAWN AND MUSTACHIO ARE ALL VISIBLY UPSET THAT PIGGY HAS GIVEN UP BUT THEY ARE SILENT

PIGGY’S DREAM

PIGGY IS HAVING A FLYING DREAM. HE IS FLYING ABOVE THE CLOUDS LOOKING DOWN AT THE EARTH

The Flying Pig: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I love flying. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Flying…flying like a…like a…like a…like a Samurai

PIGGY LOOKS AROUND TO MAKE SURE THERE IS NO NATURAL DISASTER AROUND HIM

The Flying Pig: Of course there is no volcano…no blizzard…no thunder storm…it’s a dream…there are no natural disasters in dreams. Just piggies that fly….Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I can talk about Samurai all I want. I can even talk about the greatest Samurai – DeAndre Hopkins!

The Flying Pig: Hopkins is 6’1 junior from Clemson nicknamed “Nuk”. His uncle, Terry Smith, also played for Clemson in the early 90s. Hopkins wasn’t just a wide receiver at Clemson. He was a reserve on the Clemson basketball team too. He played basketball in high school too and led his high school basketball team to the South Carolina State title game. You can see his exceptional athleticism on the field too…Hey…Am I flying?…or am I falling?….Squeeeeeeal! I’m falling.

PIGGY’S FLYING DREAM TURNS INTO A FALLING DREAM. PIGGY IS NOW FALLING OUT OF CONTROL TO THE GROUND

The Flying Pig: Squeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaal

MEANWHILE BACK IN THE REALITY OF THE BARN

A FLAMING FLASH FLIES IN THE SKY AND PAST THE BARN. WHEN IT HITS THE GROUND THERE IS AN LOUD EXPLOSION HEARD FROM THE AREA WHERE THE FLAMING FLASH HIT, HUNRED OF YARDS PAST THE BARN

Psychic GPS: Did you see that?

Mustachio: Un fiamma!

Psychic GPS: What?

The Little Prawn: (panicking and pointing at the sky) “…………”

Wedge: I think that was a meteor GPS…

Psychic GPS: A meteor? I’ve never seen one before

The Little Prawn: (jumping up and down to get their attention) “…………”

Psychic GPS: Shhhh…(pushing The Little Prawn Away) A meteor just almost hit us

Wedge: We used to see them all the time when we travelled through space…but I never saw just one at a time…

A SECOND METEOR HITS THE GROUND. THIS ONE IS CLOSER TO THE BARN

Wedge: That is more like it!

Mustachio: Affanculo!

The Little Prawn: “………………” (standing in front of the three others trying to get their attention)

Mustachio: Shhhh Gambero! Can’t you see that two meteorites have hit the Earth!

Psychic GPS: What’s he pointing at? (looking up at the sky) Electronic Scream! It’s a meteor shower!

MEANWHILE BACK IN PIGGY’S DREAM

PIGGY IS STILL FALLING IN HIS FALLING DREAM. SUDDENLY TWO HANDS GRAB HIM FROM THE SKY

The Flying Pig: DeAndre Hopkins has great hands. I mean he doesn’t just wait for the ball to come to him. He attacks it. If the pigskin gets near him – it’s his! It helps to have 10 inch hands. Probably the biggest set of hands in the draft among receivers. Reminds me of Oronde Gadsden with those incredible hands.

PIGGY IS PLACED ON THE GROUND AND HE BEGINS TO RUN. PIGGY’S FALLING DREAM TURNS INTO A DREAM WHERE HE IS BEING CHASED.

The Flying Pig: I don’t why or whom I am running from…but it reminds me of DeAdnre Hopkins running. The guy accelerates so quickly when he catches the ball. Its not just straight line speed with Hopkins. It’s his body positioning when the ball arrives. He already has a step on the defenders, he can set them up for a move before they can adjust to make a tackle. And he can keep his balance through tacklers too. Watch this record setting catch he made against Georgia Tech!

PIGGY BEGINS RUNNING IN PLACE IN HIS DREAM. HE IS TRYING TO RUN AS FAST AS HE CAN BUT HE IS NOT MOVING ANYWHERE

The Flying Pig: DeAndre Hopkins is the best example of I can think of why you can throw out 40 yard dash times. He ran a 4.57 at the combine – but who cares. He runs much faster than most receivers on the field. Football is a little more than running 40 yards in a straight line.

MEANWHILE BACK IN THE REALITY OF THE BARN

PSYCHIC GPS, WEDGE, THE LITTLE PRAWN AND MUSTACHIO ARE ALL FRANTICALLY RUNNING AROUND THE BARN DODGING METEORS.

Wedge: What is going on?

Mustachio: Io non so lo!

Wedge: Maybe some one is talking about the Sam…eh (catching himself)….them…

Mustachio: No one has said a word

Psychic GPS: Maybe its Piggy?

Wedge: He is asleep

Psychic GPS: That’s it! He is dreaming of Samurai. Wake him up!

THE METEORS ARE HITTING THE BARN NOW

MEANWHILE BACK IN PIGGY’S DREAM

THE BACKGROUND IN PIGGY’S RUNNING IN PLACE DREAM CHANGES TO HIS HIGH SCHOOL. NOW PIGGY IS HAVING A DREAM THAT HE IS LOST IN HIS HIGH SCHOOL

The Flying Pig: Some people might have expected to see DeAndre Hopkins get lost in the offense when Sammy Watkins emerged as a receiving threat. But Hopkins never disappeared. He accepted his role as the #2 wide receiver and still caught 18 Touchdowns, an ACC record and 2nd in NCAA in 2012!

PIGGY FINALLY REALIZES WHERE HE IS AND WALKS INTO A CLASSROOM IN HIS HIGH SCHOOL. THEN PIGGY REALIZES HE IS NAKED IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS

MEANWHILE BACK IN THE REALITY OF THE BARN

PSYCHIC GPS, WEDGE, THE LITTLE PRAWN AND MUSTACHIO ARE ALL TRYING TO WAKE UP PIGGY BUT PIGGY IS IN A DEEP SLEEP

Mustachio: Wake up Piggy!

Psychic GPS: Wake up!

The Little Prawn: “………..”

Wedge: eh….not really as helpful as we would have liked Prawn…

THE BARN IS BURNING TO THE GROUND

MEANWHILE BACK IN PIGGY’S DREAM

ALL THE PIGLETS IN THE CLASSROOM ARE POINTING AND LAUGHING AT PIGGY AS HE TRIES TO COVER HIMSELF UP.

The Flying Pig: Normally I don’t care for pants…but right now I feel a little vulnerable. Sort of like Hopkins must have felt when Sammy Watkins went down early in Clemson’s bowl game against LSU. Did that deter Hopkins – Nope! He excelled! He caught 13 passes for 191 yards and 2 TDs. The Tigers beat the favored…eh…Tigers – largely in part to Hopkins monster day. And Hopkins performed like that early in the year too when Sammy Watkins was suspended. every time Clemson needed Hopkins and in the biggest games, he came up big! (Piggy jumps up naked on a desk) Pants suck!

MEANWHILE BACK IN THE REALITY OF THE BARN

PIGGY WAKES UP. PSYCHIC GPS, THE LITTLE PRAWN, MUSTACHIO AND WEDGE ARE ALL LOOKING AT HIM AGRILY

The Flying Pig: What a dream! (looking around at the burned down barn) Hey…Did you guys redecorate while I was asleep?

ON THE SPACESHIP ABOVE THE EARTH THE TWO ALIEN SCIENTISTS FINISH UP WITH THE WEAPON THEY HAVE BEEN CREATING

Alien Scientist #1: It is ready

Alien Scientist #2: We applied the technology…

Alpha Alien: (ripping the blanket off the gurney) Then it is ready! My weapon!

THE ALPHA ALIEN BACKS AWAY FROM THE GURNEY SMILING AND REMOVES THE BLANKET.

Alpha Alien: RISE BIONIC COLONPOKEY…RISE!

Bionic Colonpokey: I will destroy the Earth….one butt at a time!

BIONIC COLONPOKEY RISES FROM THE GURNEY. HE JUMPS OUT OF THE SPACESHIP TO THE EARTH BELOW LEAVING THE ALIENS BEHIND. THE THEME SONG FROM THE 6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND

Alpha Alien: What was that last thing he said?

Alien Scientist #1: He said he was going to destroy the Earth…eh… as we planned

Alpha Alien: there was something else…

Alien Scientist #2: Um…I just heard the destroy the Earth part…that is the important thing…

Alpha Alien: No…He mentioned something about butts…(disappointed) I don’t remember that in the plans.

Alien Scientist #1: (frantically grabbing the blueprints) Um….eh…just a minute…eh

Alien Scientist #2: ….shit…

Alpha Alien: (sigh) This is what I get for trying to be creative (throwing four of his hands in the air)..fuck it…let’s just go back to our planet and pick up the death ray…

Alien Scientist #1: Good idea….I have some improvements in mind

Alien Scientist #2: We have the technology for that…

Alpha Alien: Oh no! Not you two!

THE SPACESHIP LANDS. THE TWO ALIEN SCIENTISTS ARE KICKED OUT OF THE SPACESHIP AND THEN THE SPACESHIP FLIES AWAY INTO DEEP SPACE.

Alien Scientist #1: (turning to the other alien scientist) What now?

Alien Scientist #2: I don’t know…Hey…is that a bar?

Alien Scientist #1: Yeah I think so…Let’s get drunk…

To be Continued…Up Next The Finale of the Legend of the Seven Samurai.